Breakdown
Dick finished pulling off his clothes and climbed into bed. He kissed Roy. "Hey," he said.
"Hi." Roy kissed him back lightly, a dry brush of his lips against Dick's.
Dick smiled and wrapped around him. "How was your night?"
"It was all right." Roy said, allowing him but not curling towards him, "Got some work done and Lian worked on her spelling."
"How was your night?"
"Okay. Met Talia. Didn't fight her, though." He kissed Roy's neck.
"You met up with Talia?" Roy frowned.
"Just general exchange of threats. She got away before I could do anything."
"Mmhmm." Roy nodded.
Dick kissed him again.
Roy didn't respond, letting his eyes close. He couldn't respond to Dick- which made him feel horrible, which in turn made it worse. He'd never not wanted to roll over and kiss Dick senseless.
Dick frowned and kissed him again. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"Just not in the mood." Roy said, trying to at least sound cheerful, like he was just tired and it was an off night. Except that never happened.
"You're not in the mood?" That never happened. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Roy nodded, giving him a weak smile, "Just not in the mood."
Dick ran his hand over Roy's arm. "You've never not been in the mood before."
A sick feeling in his throat and Roy couldn't pull his arm away from Dick, that would hurt Dick like hitting him. That would hurt him worse, actually. "I'm sorry," he said miserably.
Dick's hand stopped and he was quiet. "Are you still mad?"
"No." Roy shook his head, "I'm not mad."
"What's wrong, then?"
"Just... really bad day, Dick!" Roy said, "I feel miserable."
"So did I. I hate fighting with you. But I thought we were okay." His voice broke a little.
Roy closed his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek, where it was raw and tasted like metal, and hurt every time he tried to eat, "I'm trying. I want to be okay. I just... I can't."
Dick didn't say anything. "Okay," he said quietly. He turned over and curled into himself. He had a rotten feeling in his stomach and he didn't feel like he could sleep right now.
Roy rolled over onto his side, pillowing his head on his arms and letting tears track down his face silently, keeping his breathing steady. He felt sick. He was sick and hurt and his head ached and like the world was ending. Dick was unhappy, and so was he, and he wished he could give Dick what he wanted. He just couldn't. Dick wasn't sleeping either, so Roy lay completely still as the tears ran into his pillow.
Dick knew Roy wasn't sleeping. He didn't know what to do. He knew he wouldn't sleep tonight. He rolled out of bed and started pulling his costume back on. Not like Roy would miss him if he spent the rest of the night patrolling.
Roy felt his shoulders stiffen and he rolled half over to look at Dick getting dressed, quickly, guiltily.
Dick put his mask on and glanced at him. "I'm just... I'll see you in the morning," he whispered.
"Bye." Roy whispered, another tear sliding down his face and he didn't care right now if Dick saw it.
Dick hesitated and reached for Roy's arm. "I don't have to go," he said.
Roy bit the inside of his cheek again, tears standing in his eyes as he looked up at Dick, "If you want to go then go," he swallowed hard, tangy blood on his tongue.
Dick knelt beside him and cradled his face. "It's not what I want."
Roy sobbed softly, the tears running down his face as he closed his eyes, shaking with pain. He needed Dick... he loved him. Loved him helplessly and completely, and so he closed his hands around Dick's wrists, holding on as tightly as he could, "Don't go." he whispered.
"Shhh, I'll stay." Dick kissed his cheeks, tasting the tears. "I love you, Roy. I won't go."
Roy whimpered and couldn't make himself let go, pressing his face into Dick's hands and lips, "I love you too," he said brokenly.
Dick pulled him close. "I thought you didn't want me," he whispered.
"I love you," Roy managed to let go Dick's wrists- which would probably bruise- to cling around his neck. "Just because I..." he broke down and sobbed there, burying his face in Dick's shoulder.
Dick whimpered and wrapped his arms around Roy, holding him tightly. "I love you," he whispered. "Not going anywhere."
Roy clung to him, sobbing his heart out and finally settling down to miserable, choked snuffling sounds against Dick's skin.
Dick yanked his glove off and stroked Roy's hair. "Got you, honey. I got you."
Roy shivered in Dick's arms, arms holding so tightly the muscles quivered.
Dick kissed his head and kept petting him.
Roy finally settled enough to loosen his grip, still sniffling and making a deep moaning sound in his chest. He kept his face turned into Dick's neck, and kept his eyes tightly shut, deriving comfort from Dick's hand stroking his hair.
Dick kissed his hair again and wiped his tears away with his thumb. "Okay?"
Roy nodded, pulling back to wipe his face with his hands, scrubbing his eyes with his knuckles. He hiccuped a little, still sniffling but trying to stop himself from the sound in his chest, human distress at its' most obvious.
Dick rubbed his back. "I love you."
"Love you too." Roy dug his knuckles into his eyes, hating the burning feeling.
Dick kissed Roy's eyes and knuckles, trying to convey that he didn't care if Roy cried, he was here, he would help, he loved him.
Roy sniffled, letting on hand drop to touch Dick's face, the other still stubbornly scrubbing at his eye.
Dick lay gentle kisses over Roy's face. He wanted to take his costume off again, but he didn't want to stop touching Roy.
Roy mewed and kissed Dick's face as well, lightly, tasting bitter tears and heaving a deep, shuddering breath.
Dick closed his eyes and leaned his head against Roy. He was suddenly tired.
Roy swallowed, "Come back to bed?" he pleaded, managing to make his hands let go of Dick and the clutched the blankets with white knuckles.
Dick nodded. "Just let me get my costume off," he said.
Roy nodded, pulling the blankets up over himself and shivering. So *cold*.
Dick stripped as quickly as he could, then slipped back into bed. "Roy," he whispered.
Roy rolled over and pressed up to Dick, wrapping around him and shivering, "I'm cold."
Dick rubbed Roy's arms and curled around him. "I'm here."
Roy sighed softly, resting his throbbing head against Dick's chest and trying to press closer, the blankets simply not helping at all.
Dick pet Roy's head and put an arm over him, tangling their legs together.
Roy pressed as close as he could and moaned sleepily, beyond exhaustion. "Go to sleep," he muttered to Dick.
Dick nodded. "I will," he said. He kissed Roy again. "I love you."
"Love you too." Roy sighed, more than half asleep.
Dick closed his eyes and slept more soundly than he had for a week.
"Hi." Roy kissed him back lightly, a dry brush of his lips against Dick's.
Dick smiled and wrapped around him. "How was your night?"
"It was all right." Roy said, allowing him but not curling towards him, "Got some work done and Lian worked on her spelling."
"How was your night?"
"Okay. Met Talia. Didn't fight her, though." He kissed Roy's neck.
"You met up with Talia?" Roy frowned.
"Just general exchange of threats. She got away before I could do anything."
"Mmhmm." Roy nodded.
Dick kissed him again.
Roy didn't respond, letting his eyes close. He couldn't respond to Dick- which made him feel horrible, which in turn made it worse. He'd never not wanted to roll over and kiss Dick senseless.
Dick frowned and kissed him again. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"Just not in the mood." Roy said, trying to at least sound cheerful, like he was just tired and it was an off night. Except that never happened.
"You're not in the mood?" That never happened. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Roy nodded, giving him a weak smile, "Just not in the mood."
Dick ran his hand over Roy's arm. "You've never not been in the mood before."
A sick feeling in his throat and Roy couldn't pull his arm away from Dick, that would hurt Dick like hitting him. That would hurt him worse, actually. "I'm sorry," he said miserably.
Dick's hand stopped and he was quiet. "Are you still mad?"
"No." Roy shook his head, "I'm not mad."
"What's wrong, then?"
"Just... really bad day, Dick!" Roy said, "I feel miserable."
"So did I. I hate fighting with you. But I thought we were okay." His voice broke a little.
Roy closed his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek, where it was raw and tasted like metal, and hurt every time he tried to eat, "I'm trying. I want to be okay. I just... I can't."
Dick didn't say anything. "Okay," he said quietly. He turned over and curled into himself. He had a rotten feeling in his stomach and he didn't feel like he could sleep right now.
Roy rolled over onto his side, pillowing his head on his arms and letting tears track down his face silently, keeping his breathing steady. He felt sick. He was sick and hurt and his head ached and like the world was ending. Dick was unhappy, and so was he, and he wished he could give Dick what he wanted. He just couldn't. Dick wasn't sleeping either, so Roy lay completely still as the tears ran into his pillow.
Dick knew Roy wasn't sleeping. He didn't know what to do. He knew he wouldn't sleep tonight. He rolled out of bed and started pulling his costume back on. Not like Roy would miss him if he spent the rest of the night patrolling.
Roy felt his shoulders stiffen and he rolled half over to look at Dick getting dressed, quickly, guiltily.
Dick put his mask on and glanced at him. "I'm just... I'll see you in the morning," he whispered.
"Bye." Roy whispered, another tear sliding down his face and he didn't care right now if Dick saw it.
Dick hesitated and reached for Roy's arm. "I don't have to go," he said.
Roy bit the inside of his cheek again, tears standing in his eyes as he looked up at Dick, "If you want to go then go," he swallowed hard, tangy blood on his tongue.
Dick knelt beside him and cradled his face. "It's not what I want."
Roy sobbed softly, the tears running down his face as he closed his eyes, shaking with pain. He needed Dick... he loved him. Loved him helplessly and completely, and so he closed his hands around Dick's wrists, holding on as tightly as he could, "Don't go." he whispered.
"Shhh, I'll stay." Dick kissed his cheeks, tasting the tears. "I love you, Roy. I won't go."
Roy whimpered and couldn't make himself let go, pressing his face into Dick's hands and lips, "I love you too," he said brokenly.
Dick pulled him close. "I thought you didn't want me," he whispered.
"I love you," Roy managed to let go Dick's wrists- which would probably bruise- to cling around his neck. "Just because I..." he broke down and sobbed there, burying his face in Dick's shoulder.
Dick whimpered and wrapped his arms around Roy, holding him tightly. "I love you," he whispered. "Not going anywhere."
Roy clung to him, sobbing his heart out and finally settling down to miserable, choked snuffling sounds against Dick's skin.
Dick yanked his glove off and stroked Roy's hair. "Got you, honey. I got you."
Roy shivered in Dick's arms, arms holding so tightly the muscles quivered.
Dick kissed his head and kept petting him.
Roy finally settled enough to loosen his grip, still sniffling and making a deep moaning sound in his chest. He kept his face turned into Dick's neck, and kept his eyes tightly shut, deriving comfort from Dick's hand stroking his hair.
Dick kissed his hair again and wiped his tears away with his thumb. "Okay?"
Roy nodded, pulling back to wipe his face with his hands, scrubbing his eyes with his knuckles. He hiccuped a little, still sniffling but trying to stop himself from the sound in his chest, human distress at its' most obvious.
Dick rubbed his back. "I love you."
"Love you too." Roy dug his knuckles into his eyes, hating the burning feeling.
Dick kissed Roy's eyes and knuckles, trying to convey that he didn't care if Roy cried, he was here, he would help, he loved him.
Roy sniffled, letting on hand drop to touch Dick's face, the other still stubbornly scrubbing at his eye.
Dick lay gentle kisses over Roy's face. He wanted to take his costume off again, but he didn't want to stop touching Roy.
Roy mewed and kissed Dick's face as well, lightly, tasting bitter tears and heaving a deep, shuddering breath.
Dick closed his eyes and leaned his head against Roy. He was suddenly tired.
Roy swallowed, "Come back to bed?" he pleaded, managing to make his hands let go of Dick and the clutched the blankets with white knuckles.
Dick nodded. "Just let me get my costume off," he said.
Roy nodded, pulling the blankets up over himself and shivering. So *cold*.
Dick stripped as quickly as he could, then slipped back into bed. "Roy," he whispered.
Roy rolled over and pressed up to Dick, wrapping around him and shivering, "I'm cold."
Dick rubbed Roy's arms and curled around him. "I'm here."
Roy sighed softly, resting his throbbing head against Dick's chest and trying to press closer, the blankets simply not helping at all.
Dick pet Roy's head and put an arm over him, tangling their legs together.
Roy pressed as close as he could and moaned sleepily, beyond exhaustion. "Go to sleep," he muttered to Dick.
Dick nodded. "I will," he said. He kissed Roy again. "I love you."
"Love you too." Roy sighed, more than half asleep.
Dick closed his eyes and slept more soundly than he had for a week.