RACHEL RAY
Rachel Ray is the worst thing to happen to my style of cooking.
I will, for the record, admit that I repeat a lot of herbs in some of my cooking. We're working on a budget, and I'd rather reuse a few ingredients and teach you to work around common herbs, rather than making you buy wierd shit every time I post a recipe. Some of mine call for a special purchase, but stuff like chicken broth will cost you a dollar so I don't mind suggesting it for a dish, and worse comes to worst you can use boullion. Rachel Ray is a different breed of creature, and she casts a bad light on every chef trying to do the "quick and simple" cooking style.
First off, her 30 minute meals don't take 30 minutes. She neglects to mention prep. My meals, when I don't warn that they're time consuming, take 20 minutes or less. My cream sauces can be cooked while boiling the water and cooking the pasta. Her dishes can take over an hour considering the chop time, and she uses creative cuts to hide the prep and long cook times for her meals. As well, some of the things she suggests (chicken comes to mind), if cooked as long as she says, will guarantee you a significant risk of salmonella poisoning. She doesn't teach touch done-ness (I'll get into that) or tell anyone to cut open the meat to make sure it's well cooked. ALWAYS DO THIS IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE TOUCH SCALE FOR MEAT DONENESS.
Secondly, her recipes are ill-inspired and nasty looking. She over-seasons, and she has no flair for plating. She throws fresh basil around like it's candy. I don't know about you, but when I'm cooking quick and on a budget, destroying my dishes with a big pile of fresh basil is the last thing on my mind. Also, we feast with our eyes first, our noses second, and our mouths actually take a back seat to the rest of the senses. What makes a gourmet restaurant exactly that is the fact that they know a beautiful, artfully created dish tastes better by default than the same dish made with no taste for aesthetics. There's a reason the 5 star restaurants use small dots of sauce to accent the plate, and build it like a sculpture. If it looks like art, it makes you subconsciously taste it as such.
Third: She has terrible kitchen hygeine. She'll use the same (unwashed) utensils to place and flip raw chicken as it cooks. Combine that with her lack of ability to teach people to guage meat doneness or cut open the meat to make sure it's safe, and she's a goddamn menace. Cook like her, and you'll get people sick. As a professional cook, I cannot abide her unprofessional demeanor when it comes to cross-contamination. It's simply inexcusable.
Fourth: If you admit to no professional training and say you burn toast, why the hell should people listen to your recipes? The fact that she admits to being a mediocre cook is simply inexcusable. I've been in the industry for 12+ years, working in a variety of styles, which is why I feel qualified to teach cooking. Claiming Creole heritage does not make one a skilled cajun chef any more than claiming Japanese heritage makes one a ninja. I know this, because I'm both.
Fifth: For all of her pretenses at making healthy food, she's fond of the butter and heavy cream. Her overuse of the heavy cream is a strong demarcation for the fact that she doesn't know what the hell a Bechamel *is*, much less how to build a proper roux. As a "Cajun chef" this is simply inexcusable. Gumbo and jambalaya start with a Bechamel, if oil based rather than grease based. To not know how to use one and instead rely on basically a sugarless whipped cream is not only foolish and amature, but dangerous. I presume nobody wants high cholesterol. Her food is a heart attack waiting to happen. I teach cream sauces using milk, and you can do them using skim. I can build you a fully fat free cream sauce using the recipes I've already posted, but subbing fat free butter substitutes, super skim milk, no fat cheese, whole wheat pasta. You simply follow the recipe as listed, but use healthy ingredients rather than broke people food. You'll only increase the cost by a dollar or 2. My recipes are universal, and work with whatever diet you want to follow. Throw my alfredo sauces over steamed broccoli and we're Adkins approved as well as tasty. Just use whole wheat flour for the Bechamel and low fat variants of my ingredients.
Sixth: She hates measuring but claims to try to teach new chefs. I'll give you guys a vague "until it's a good texture" but I leave that up to you. I assume you've had a tomato cream sauce, and know when it looks ok and not watery. Creamy but not solid. That's a faith I'll place in my reader. She says shit like "use any herb you have onhand" and "I think measuring stifles a cook", while pretending to teach new chefs. I'll come out and say it, that's hypocrisy. You can't eyeball if you have no frame of reference. I tell you to try my recipe, then play with it and expand on it. Find your own style. But I give you concrete recipes to work with to start. The woman can't bake because it involves measuring and she's crap at remembering what she just cooked. Moral of the story is if I made you a dish once, I could recreate it perfectly, from memory. Her hatred of recipes means she's inconsistent, at best, and nothing will taste the same twice. In the world of food, this is a cardinal sin. If you like a dish I've made, and the next time I was too heavy handed with the cumin, I've made a different dish. Would you go to a restaurant that you couldn't trust the consistency of the meals? If a chef decided to add a bit of extra spice that wasn't there the last time? Or do you prefer a restaurant that is always good, because they're following a set plan? I eyeball spices based on the size of the dish I'm making, but I'm sure many of my readers who've had my food will attest that my cuisine is consistent to a fault. When I experiment with a dish, I do so in my free time, and I warn people of this. "A few swirls around the pan" is not a fucking measure. Half a palm of herbs, to Shaq, would kill any dish.
Not to mention her complete inability to understand how to cook with alcohol, the fact that she doesn't do a simple wikipedia search for the proper name for her dishes, and the fact that she has no professional training.... yeah. Do not listen to this woman.
For the record, I don't envy her money and I don't give a shit about her fame. She makes money and fame by teaching terrible cooking habits to a new generation of craptastic chefs that should be watching Emeril or Bobby Flay. I wouldn't want that money, since she's contributing to the lardass America. I've made good money in the field, and I truly enjoy cooking, so I don't feel that my talents are going to waste. There is no envy in this post, only disgust.
If you appreciate my tips, at all, do yourself a favor. Do not take her recipes seriously. I don't watch the show, so I won't comment on her on-air personality. But her recipes are bland, uninspired, and potentially hazardous.
Before you point out, as I would, that she won an iron chef showdown, I'll point out that she was working with Mario freaking Batali, who's a genius. A blind retard could win with him in their corner, and for someone who espouses the 30 minute meal she was sure freaked out at an hour spread, even with a kitchen full of sous chefs.
I will, for the record, admit that I repeat a lot of herbs in some of my cooking. We're working on a budget, and I'd rather reuse a few ingredients and teach you to work around common herbs, rather than making you buy wierd shit every time I post a recipe. Some of mine call for a special purchase, but stuff like chicken broth will cost you a dollar so I don't mind suggesting it for a dish, and worse comes to worst you can use boullion. Rachel Ray is a different breed of creature, and she casts a bad light on every chef trying to do the "quick and simple" cooking style.
First off, her 30 minute meals don't take 30 minutes. She neglects to mention prep. My meals, when I don't warn that they're time consuming, take 20 minutes or less. My cream sauces can be cooked while boiling the water and cooking the pasta. Her dishes can take over an hour considering the chop time, and she uses creative cuts to hide the prep and long cook times for her meals. As well, some of the things she suggests (chicken comes to mind), if cooked as long as she says, will guarantee you a significant risk of salmonella poisoning. She doesn't teach touch done-ness (I'll get into that) or tell anyone to cut open the meat to make sure it's well cooked. ALWAYS DO THIS IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE TOUCH SCALE FOR MEAT DONENESS.
Secondly, her recipes are ill-inspired and nasty looking. She over-seasons, and she has no flair for plating. She throws fresh basil around like it's candy. I don't know about you, but when I'm cooking quick and on a budget, destroying my dishes with a big pile of fresh basil is the last thing on my mind. Also, we feast with our eyes first, our noses second, and our mouths actually take a back seat to the rest of the senses. What makes a gourmet restaurant exactly that is the fact that they know a beautiful, artfully created dish tastes better by default than the same dish made with no taste for aesthetics. There's a reason the 5 star restaurants use small dots of sauce to accent the plate, and build it like a sculpture. If it looks like art, it makes you subconsciously taste it as such.
Third: She has terrible kitchen hygeine. She'll use the same (unwashed) utensils to place and flip raw chicken as it cooks. Combine that with her lack of ability to teach people to guage meat doneness or cut open the meat to make sure it's safe, and she's a goddamn menace. Cook like her, and you'll get people sick. As a professional cook, I cannot abide her unprofessional demeanor when it comes to cross-contamination. It's simply inexcusable.
Fourth: If you admit to no professional training and say you burn toast, why the hell should people listen to your recipes? The fact that she admits to being a mediocre cook is simply inexcusable. I've been in the industry for 12+ years, working in a variety of styles, which is why I feel qualified to teach cooking. Claiming Creole heritage does not make one a skilled cajun chef any more than claiming Japanese heritage makes one a ninja. I know this, because I'm both.
Fifth: For all of her pretenses at making healthy food, she's fond of the butter and heavy cream. Her overuse of the heavy cream is a strong demarcation for the fact that she doesn't know what the hell a Bechamel *is*, much less how to build a proper roux. As a "Cajun chef" this is simply inexcusable. Gumbo and jambalaya start with a Bechamel, if oil based rather than grease based. To not know how to use one and instead rely on basically a sugarless whipped cream is not only foolish and amature, but dangerous. I presume nobody wants high cholesterol. Her food is a heart attack waiting to happen. I teach cream sauces using milk, and you can do them using skim. I can build you a fully fat free cream sauce using the recipes I've already posted, but subbing fat free butter substitutes, super skim milk, no fat cheese, whole wheat pasta. You simply follow the recipe as listed, but use healthy ingredients rather than broke people food. You'll only increase the cost by a dollar or 2. My recipes are universal, and work with whatever diet you want to follow. Throw my alfredo sauces over steamed broccoli and we're Adkins approved as well as tasty. Just use whole wheat flour for the Bechamel and low fat variants of my ingredients.
Sixth: She hates measuring but claims to try to teach new chefs. I'll give you guys a vague "until it's a good texture" but I leave that up to you. I assume you've had a tomato cream sauce, and know when it looks ok and not watery. Creamy but not solid. That's a faith I'll place in my reader. She says shit like "use any herb you have onhand" and "I think measuring stifles a cook", while pretending to teach new chefs. I'll come out and say it, that's hypocrisy. You can't eyeball if you have no frame of reference. I tell you to try my recipe, then play with it and expand on it. Find your own style. But I give you concrete recipes to work with to start. The woman can't bake because it involves measuring and she's crap at remembering what she just cooked. Moral of the story is if I made you a dish once, I could recreate it perfectly, from memory. Her hatred of recipes means she's inconsistent, at best, and nothing will taste the same twice. In the world of food, this is a cardinal sin. If you like a dish I've made, and the next time I was too heavy handed with the cumin, I've made a different dish. Would you go to a restaurant that you couldn't trust the consistency of the meals? If a chef decided to add a bit of extra spice that wasn't there the last time? Or do you prefer a restaurant that is always good, because they're following a set plan? I eyeball spices based on the size of the dish I'm making, but I'm sure many of my readers who've had my food will attest that my cuisine is consistent to a fault. When I experiment with a dish, I do so in my free time, and I warn people of this. "A few swirls around the pan" is not a fucking measure. Half a palm of herbs, to Shaq, would kill any dish.
Not to mention her complete inability to understand how to cook with alcohol, the fact that she doesn't do a simple wikipedia search for the proper name for her dishes, and the fact that she has no professional training.... yeah. Do not listen to this woman.
For the record, I don't envy her money and I don't give a shit about her fame. She makes money and fame by teaching terrible cooking habits to a new generation of craptastic chefs that should be watching Emeril or Bobby Flay. I wouldn't want that money, since she's contributing to the lardass America. I've made good money in the field, and I truly enjoy cooking, so I don't feel that my talents are going to waste. There is no envy in this post, only disgust.
If you appreciate my tips, at all, do yourself a favor. Do not take her recipes seriously. I don't watch the show, so I won't comment on her on-air personality. But her recipes are bland, uninspired, and potentially hazardous.
Before you point out, as I would, that she won an iron chef showdown, I'll point out that she was working with Mario freaking Batali, who's a genius. A blind retard could win with him in their corner, and for someone who espouses the 30 minute meal she was sure freaked out at an hour spread, even with a kitchen full of sous chefs.