Words defy the plan.
Oh my, how the years seem to recycle themselves. Even without looking behind us, the same attitude and vibe seems to come back around the earth with the wind every few years. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that 2005 and 2007 got a little mixed up and made their way over here.
Now if we could only hit upon that center year. I'd really like to feel that love, and I'd even like to feel that pain. Because 2006 was the year in which I learned who I was and what I was capable of. I learned what I could have and what I deserve. I still had innocence, and yet I'd felt as if I had grown up long before. I knew my loss before it was even gone. And yet I think I kind of embraced it in a way. I now embrace it even more. Because I know that it gave to me more than it took away. And I think for me, that I really need to touch upon something similar to that right now.
The feeling is a year late to the party. And counting. It's taken me a long time to realize that this is what I need.
I know what's going on to some extent. I know what this vibe means. I'm not stupid. I just don't know how to react to it. But I do know one thing that I can do. And that it to focus on myself. Which is my main area of improvement starting tonight. I can no longer rely on my friends to provide any sense of self-worth or comfort in my current situation. The only person to support those needs is myself. I just have to learn how to accomplish this on my own.
And that's exactly what I need. I will grow on my own.
Now if we could only hit upon that center year. I'd really like to feel that love, and I'd even like to feel that pain. Because 2006 was the year in which I learned who I was and what I was capable of. I learned what I could have and what I deserve. I still had innocence, and yet I'd felt as if I had grown up long before. I knew my loss before it was even gone. And yet I think I kind of embraced it in a way. I now embrace it even more. Because I know that it gave to me more than it took away. And I think for me, that I really need to touch upon something similar to that right now.
The feeling is a year late to the party. And counting. It's taken me a long time to realize that this is what I need.
I know what's going on to some extent. I know what this vibe means. I'm not stupid. I just don't know how to react to it. But I do know one thing that I can do. And that it to focus on myself. Which is my main area of improvement starting tonight. I can no longer rely on my friends to provide any sense of self-worth or comfort in my current situation. The only person to support those needs is myself. I just have to learn how to accomplish this on my own.
And that's exactly what I need. I will grow on my own.