What's my place in the world?
Living next to a gas station connects me to the world. I've had to walk by it every single day for the past seven months, watching the price slowly rising. Hearing the lamentations and debate from various news outlets and the classroom bring it all together. It's at moments like that when I try to think long and hard about my place in the world. When I was younger I felt like I could grow up to do something great and change the world. I'm pretty sure we've all felt this way at one point or another.
But at the same time I think about my personal aspirations and desires, and how those really matter to the world as a whole. I'm always planning for the future, more so lately because I'll be graduating before the end of this year. I have to make some real decisions about my life. Where I'm going to live, what I'm going to do, who I'm going to be. Even NOT making a decision about any of these will have a significant impact on my life. I can't stay in Columbus and be a dispatcher forever. What's more, I really, REALLY don't want to. Living in Columbus has made me appreciate Louisville more and more. Aside from being more familiar with it, Louisville has better streets, better schools and a much nicer atmosphere than Columbus.
But it's not like I could get a Job anywhere in Louisville or Columbus. Unsurprisingly, a BA in Linguistics has very limited job prospects. I still plan on at least attempting to sing up for the Air Force. It's something I've always wanted to do and I enjoyed ROTC enough that I wish I hadn't quit. But my health lately has been a concern to me. It's probably just some extended after-effects of the mono (some people can experience symptoms 6 months or more after diagnosis...yippie), but the fact is that in the past 4-5 months I've lost more weight than ever, yet have had more health problems than ever. But since I don't expect to sing up until next summer, I'll have plenty of time to explore other options.
Those options are limited, however. My biggest prospect that doesn't involve military service is teaching English as a second language in a foreign country. Probably France, maybe Japan. The money is EXCELLENT. Seriously, 900 Euros a month for 12 hours a week of teaching. Hell, I could even get a second 10-hour-a-week job for some kind of supplemental income. Could be making $25k a year PART-TIME. Start paying off those damn student loans. But I would HATE being away from home for so long. And there's no way I could afford a car. Hell, I'd probably just get a motorcycle or a scooter. Plus, there's the whole not knowing anybody. I'm terrible at making friends. It's almost 11:30 on a Thursday, and I've got no one I can call and talk to, no one I can hang out with or plan something with tomorrow. I've been here almost 3 years and I don't have any real friends. How fucking sad is that?
So, About 6 1/2 months until I graduate, so long as everything goes according to plan. I just registered for my fall classes. I register for the summer in a few days. I'll probably be taking German and some Psychology or Sociology class that'll carry over as a GEC. And in the fall, I will be taking two Linguistic courses to round out my major classes, Linguistics 500 and Linguistics 600.01 (Phonetics and Phonetic Theory, respectively). The last 10 hours I filled in with what I think will be "fun" classes; Music 252 (The History of Rock 'n Roll) and English 578 (Special Film Topic). I have no idea what the film topic will be, but I e-mailed the professor to ask him what he had in mind.
But really, all of those classes are just a means to an end. And what end? Whether I join the military or not, I'm probably going to get my Masters, but where or in what subject I have no idea. But is it all for my benefit, or the benefit of the world? I'm believing more and more that it it every individual's responsibility and decisions that make this a world worth living. And most people are too fucking selfish or lazy to care. And that's really fucking sad. The saddest part? I have no idea to which group I belong. No fucking clue.
But at the same time I think about my personal aspirations and desires, and how those really matter to the world as a whole. I'm always planning for the future, more so lately because I'll be graduating before the end of this year. I have to make some real decisions about my life. Where I'm going to live, what I'm going to do, who I'm going to be. Even NOT making a decision about any of these will have a significant impact on my life. I can't stay in Columbus and be a dispatcher forever. What's more, I really, REALLY don't want to. Living in Columbus has made me appreciate Louisville more and more. Aside from being more familiar with it, Louisville has better streets, better schools and a much nicer atmosphere than Columbus.
But it's not like I could get a Job anywhere in Louisville or Columbus. Unsurprisingly, a BA in Linguistics has very limited job prospects. I still plan on at least attempting to sing up for the Air Force. It's something I've always wanted to do and I enjoyed ROTC enough that I wish I hadn't quit. But my health lately has been a concern to me. It's probably just some extended after-effects of the mono (some people can experience symptoms 6 months or more after diagnosis...yippie), but the fact is that in the past 4-5 months I've lost more weight than ever, yet have had more health problems than ever. But since I don't expect to sing up until next summer, I'll have plenty of time to explore other options.
Those options are limited, however. My biggest prospect that doesn't involve military service is teaching English as a second language in a foreign country. Probably France, maybe Japan. The money is EXCELLENT. Seriously, 900 Euros a month for 12 hours a week of teaching. Hell, I could even get a second 10-hour-a-week job for some kind of supplemental income. Could be making $25k a year PART-TIME. Start paying off those damn student loans. But I would HATE being away from home for so long. And there's no way I could afford a car. Hell, I'd probably just get a motorcycle or a scooter. Plus, there's the whole not knowing anybody. I'm terrible at making friends. It's almost 11:30 on a Thursday, and I've got no one I can call and talk to, no one I can hang out with or plan something with tomorrow. I've been here almost 3 years and I don't have any real friends. How fucking sad is that?
So, About 6 1/2 months until I graduate, so long as everything goes according to plan. I just registered for my fall classes. I register for the summer in a few days. I'll probably be taking German and some Psychology or Sociology class that'll carry over as a GEC. And in the fall, I will be taking two Linguistic courses to round out my major classes, Linguistics 500 and Linguistics 600.01 (Phonetics and Phonetic Theory, respectively). The last 10 hours I filled in with what I think will be "fun" classes; Music 252 (The History of Rock 'n Roll) and English 578 (Special Film Topic). I have no idea what the film topic will be, but I e-mailed the professor to ask him what he had in mind.
But really, all of those classes are just a means to an end. And what end? Whether I join the military or not, I'm probably going to get my Masters, but where or in what subject I have no idea. But is it all for my benefit, or the benefit of the world? I'm believing more and more that it it every individual's responsibility and decisions that make this a world worth living. And most people are too fucking selfish or lazy to care. And that's really fucking sad. The saddest part? I have no idea to which group I belong. No fucking clue.