Fantastic Shmantastic
I was looking very forward to seeing "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer", for many reasons. First: the Silver Surfer is by far one of the most badass of characters in the Marvel Universe. Second: The Silver Surfer being in the pic means Galactus isn't far behind. Third: the first movie kinda sucked, and if a sequel meant redemption for that, I would feel good about the series as a whole.
Unfortunately, I forgot how much 20th Century Fox (the production company behind FF) really, really sucks.
Let's start with Susan Storm, played by the gloriously beautiful Jessica Alba. Little miss Alba apparently didn't like having her hair bleached last time so in this film she opted for a wig. No problem, I figure, until I see it on screen. Her hair looked HUGE! And those contacts? What kind of shitty shade of blue are those?
And then there's Dr. Doom. Suddenly he has a castle in Latveria that we never fucking knew about? What? He wakes up, and suddenly has some kind of lair at which he can spy on anyone in the fucking world. Crazy shit can happen when you're completely frozen in an impenetrable steel block for a year.
Then there's the whole "OMG, we'll never be normal" situation from Sue. She's in a flurry because Reed and her are about to get married and there's a media frenzy about it, because the FF are famous and all. Sue can't get over her own celebrity and wishes that she and Reed could just live a normal life. This would have been more interesting if it didn't take focus off of one thing...
THE SURFER! We don't see him speak until Doom catches up with him in Greenland, and even then it's only the "All you know is at an end" line we've been fed from the trailer a thousand times. There needed to be MUCH more focus on the Surfer, he's the coolest character in the entire movie.
Nothing was ever explored long enough in the film, like Johnny's infatuation with some Army Captain woman, Alica and her amazing ability to be the voice of reason in the FF home, and numerous other things. It's clear Fox made this movie to sell tickets and nothing else. How do I know? The Fantasticar. It's the flying car that Reed makes for the team so they can travel around the world together. Only one thing wrong...it's a Dodge. It has the ram-horn logo, the grille and yes...a fucking Hemi.
OMGPRODUCTPLACEMENTWTF!?!?!?!?!
And from a Comic geek's perspective, it sucked raw monkey nuts. There was something of an issue when some fans heard that Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds would be nothing but a giant cloud, instead of the big badass seen here:
The producers assured everyone that fans would not be disappointed, that Galactus would definitely be more than just a cloud...only one fucking problem....
GALACTUS WAS JUST A BIG FUCKING CLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG SCARY!!!!!
Edit: On a completely different note, I recently found out that the rumor of Keanu Reeves playing Dr. Manhattan in the adaptation of Watchmen was completely false.
*WHEW*, that was a close one.
Unfortunately, I forgot how much 20th Century Fox (the production company behind FF) really, really sucks.
Let's start with Susan Storm, played by the gloriously beautiful Jessica Alba. Little miss Alba apparently didn't like having her hair bleached last time so in this film she opted for a wig. No problem, I figure, until I see it on screen. Her hair looked HUGE! And those contacts? What kind of shitty shade of blue are those?
And then there's Dr. Doom. Suddenly he has a castle in Latveria that we never fucking knew about? What? He wakes up, and suddenly has some kind of lair at which he can spy on anyone in the fucking world. Crazy shit can happen when you're completely frozen in an impenetrable steel block for a year.
Then there's the whole "OMG, we'll never be normal" situation from Sue. She's in a flurry because Reed and her are about to get married and there's a media frenzy about it, because the FF are famous and all. Sue can't get over her own celebrity and wishes that she and Reed could just live a normal life. This would have been more interesting if it didn't take focus off of one thing...
THE SURFER! We don't see him speak until Doom catches up with him in Greenland, and even then it's only the "All you know is at an end" line we've been fed from the trailer a thousand times. There needed to be MUCH more focus on the Surfer, he's the coolest character in the entire movie.
Nothing was ever explored long enough in the film, like Johnny's infatuation with some Army Captain woman, Alica and her amazing ability to be the voice of reason in the FF home, and numerous other things. It's clear Fox made this movie to sell tickets and nothing else. How do I know? The Fantasticar. It's the flying car that Reed makes for the team so they can travel around the world together. Only one thing wrong...it's a Dodge. It has the ram-horn logo, the grille and yes...a fucking Hemi.
OMGPRODUCTPLACEMENTWTF!?!?!?!?!
And from a Comic geek's perspective, it sucked raw monkey nuts. There was something of an issue when some fans heard that Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds would be nothing but a giant cloud, instead of the big badass seen here:
The producers assured everyone that fans would not be disappointed, that Galactus would definitely be more than just a cloud...only one fucking problem....
GALACTUS WAS JUST A BIG FUCKING CLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG SCARY!!!!!
Edit: On a completely different note, I recently found out that the rumor of Keanu Reeves playing Dr. Manhattan in the adaptation of Watchmen was completely false.
*WHEW*, that was a close one.