...
I don't even know who reads this anymore really, but here goes...
It seems that "certain people" in my life do not understand what the word "friendship" really means.
I'll tell you the truth, just due to exposure, I may have lost the true meaning for a while, and for that, if I have offended anyone, I apologize.
Back to this now...
Okay, friendship is a complex thing, and there are certain definitions we need to have clarified before we can even delve into this.
1) Love: love is not just a strong attraction you feel for someone. It's not just growing used to somebody. It's growing with somebody. It's going through the good and the bad, and coming out the stronger and wiser for it. It's about being nice and considerate for no reason at all.
a) (for friends) true friendship has love involved. You cannot throw a true friendship out in one day, if it was real in the first place. It'd be worth more than that.
b) (for couples) a security blanket is not a good reason to keep seeing someone that you love, but are not in love with. Open yourself to the world, with it's ups and downs, and stop hiding behind your shield of misguided desire.
2) Communication: communication is not just sharing gossip. It's not just whining about problems you yourself cause time and time again. Communication is the meeting of two or more minds, personalities, souls, and hearts. That means that communication encompasses everything. You don't intentionally hide something during true communication. If you're trying to communicate with someone, and you think to yourself "Well, they probably don't want to hear about that," and then you don't talk about whatever's on your mind, that is not true communication. If you think it is, you really need to do some rethinking about how you define communication.
Well, now that that's in the open, now on to friendship.
Friendship involves time (both in groups and one-on-one), love, and communication. If you're not willing to give these three things, then your friendship with me is shaky at best. I have a need as a human being to bond with, and become close to, my good friends. Maybe I am abnormal, but I'm not changing, so if my company is worth anything to you, show you care.
Oh, and as a side rant, you people (you know who you are) need to learn what a true relationship really is.
If he/she cheats on you, that's not a bump in the road, it's time to move on.
If you find yourself thinking "Well, (s)he'll get better with time, (s)he'll mature and grow out of this behavior," most likely you are totally wrong.
(This one goes out to one person in particular, but still applies generally) If he ever lays a finger on you (again), a) you two need to break up, and b) I'm kicking his fucking ass no matter how much you beg me not to.
If you find your relationship to be a source of stress and anxiety, it's probably not bumps in the road, but a signal of major incompatibility.
Ask yourself, are you in love with a) you sig. other, b) your relationship w. that person, or c) the idea of a relationship in your head? Look closely...
If you love someone, but aren't "in love" with that person, it's time to move on, there is practically nothing you can do to revive that relationship.
If you find one of the major reasons you don't break up with your sig. other is the fear of being alone or not being able to find somebody else to fill that position in your life, try thinking outside the box. Whoever you are, there are literally hundreds of millions of eligible people for you, and who knows, maybe the person you're looking for is closer than you think...
Peace.
P.S. I'm now 3 and one half days into quitting smoking, so this post is more than likely due to the huge negative withdrawal effects of quitting. Sorry.
It seems that "certain people" in my life do not understand what the word "friendship" really means.
I'll tell you the truth, just due to exposure, I may have lost the true meaning for a while, and for that, if I have offended anyone, I apologize.
Back to this now...
Okay, friendship is a complex thing, and there are certain definitions we need to have clarified before we can even delve into this.
1) Love: love is not just a strong attraction you feel for someone. It's not just growing used to somebody. It's growing with somebody. It's going through the good and the bad, and coming out the stronger and wiser for it. It's about being nice and considerate for no reason at all.
a) (for friends) true friendship has love involved. You cannot throw a true friendship out in one day, if it was real in the first place. It'd be worth more than that.
b) (for couples) a security blanket is not a good reason to keep seeing someone that you love, but are not in love with. Open yourself to the world, with it's ups and downs, and stop hiding behind your shield of misguided desire.
2) Communication: communication is not just sharing gossip. It's not just whining about problems you yourself cause time and time again. Communication is the meeting of two or more minds, personalities, souls, and hearts. That means that communication encompasses everything. You don't intentionally hide something during true communication. If you're trying to communicate with someone, and you think to yourself "Well, they probably don't want to hear about that," and then you don't talk about whatever's on your mind, that is not true communication. If you think it is, you really need to do some rethinking about how you define communication.
Well, now that that's in the open, now on to friendship.
Friendship involves time (both in groups and one-on-one), love, and communication. If you're not willing to give these three things, then your friendship with me is shaky at best. I have a need as a human being to bond with, and become close to, my good friends. Maybe I am abnormal, but I'm not changing, so if my company is worth anything to you, show you care.
Oh, and as a side rant, you people (you know who you are) need to learn what a true relationship really is.
If he/she cheats on you, that's not a bump in the road, it's time to move on.
If you find yourself thinking "Well, (s)he'll get better with time, (s)he'll mature and grow out of this behavior," most likely you are totally wrong.
(This one goes out to one person in particular, but still applies generally) If he ever lays a finger on you (again), a) you two need to break up, and b) I'm kicking his fucking ass no matter how much you beg me not to.
If you find your relationship to be a source of stress and anxiety, it's probably not bumps in the road, but a signal of major incompatibility.
Ask yourself, are you in love with a) you sig. other, b) your relationship w. that person, or c) the idea of a relationship in your head? Look closely...
If you love someone, but aren't "in love" with that person, it's time to move on, there is practically nothing you can do to revive that relationship.
If you find one of the major reasons you don't break up with your sig. other is the fear of being alone or not being able to find somebody else to fill that position in your life, try thinking outside the box. Whoever you are, there are literally hundreds of millions of eligible people for you, and who knows, maybe the person you're looking for is closer than you think...
Peace.
P.S. I'm now 3 and one half days into quitting smoking, so this post is more than likely due to the huge negative withdrawal effects of quitting. Sorry.