wreckof_theday - and what you see is what's left of me
There are very few things that I feel the need to indulge myself in. I’ve done things I’m proud of, things I’m not so proud of and things that I hate other people for. I find absolutely no problem making other’s lives into hell when the mood so fits me. Just lately, there is one deadly sin I’m indulging myself in: Hannah Griffith.
No, wait, she fits into a bit more than one of the seven deadly sins.
I’m pretty sure that both lust and greed come hand in hand, which just makes my life all the more fun. I pick up on the wavelength that she’s on and just go. So, maybe there’s a bit of pride too, but I know - just know - that I can get to her father this way. I get hurt and it’s like why go for the kill when you can go for the hurt? Maybe it’s a theory psychos in training use, but it works. I had to know why the Fitzpatricks were using this guy to falsify a report saying that I killed Felix.
Hannah? She’s just something that’s along the way.
And this whole attempt of convincing her that I’m better than I actually am, does nothing for self esteem, I can tell you that. Let’s see; before the winter carnival, I cut my hair, grabbed one of Duncan’s argyle and cozy looking sweaters and planned evil.
I have no delusions about what I’m doing, though I really do doubt that Hannah is entirely the sweet and innocent pixie she appears to be. I was once sixteen, and despite her claims of never being kissed, I had sure as hell had a lot more things done to me than just kisses. I had dated Lilly Kane after all.
Dating Lilly at that age was like saying ready without the set go. And I’ve noticed the pattern among my exes. There was no way I couldn’t. The going rate of girlfriends was increasing as well as the maintenance. A good percentage of my exes had cheated or left me for some other guy. So, to quote Nazareth: Love hurts.
It was never going to do anything else but hurt. There were no soul mates, but only some misconception that there was someone who was your perfect opposite. The yin to your yang. The light to your dark. It didn’t happen - I’d long since given up on it. So, this whole cold blooded trying to act like I’m boiling? It’s nothing. Maybe in the long term it’ll teach her what the rest of us have already learned.
My attempts to feel completely guiltless, spineless, are only just those: attempts. The sad truth was that I was even starting to like Hannah a little. There was no girl in the world who could say ‘dude’ like that - or none that I’d seen other than her. Plus, she smiled. She smiled like she wasn’t picking up on the amounts of publicly known past that I kept trying to hide with more charm, more flirt, and more candy to induce the two of us into a sugar coma.
So, why do I find myself waiting by her locker after school with a small smile on my face? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with trying to get a date out of her. I actually looked forward to this and I couldn’t help but keep wondering if she had her first kiss by me engraved in her head.
Pressing a hand against the locker next to hers, I leaned as she walked up to open her locker, a small smile played at my face.
"You know, princess, I was beginning to think that you might have stood me up," I said easily, the grin spreading as I tapped my fingers briefly against the cold metal of the other nearby locker. "I was thinking, if you’re not busy or even if you are that you’d cancel those plans and do some sort of dinner-slash-movie thing with me. I have to make up for you buying that cotton candy for me, anyway. Call it an attempt to make peace with Denmark, if you will."
"What do you say?" I asked, meeting her eyes with mine, "Humor me and don’t break my heart?" I clenched a hand over my heart dramatically.
No, wait, she fits into a bit more than one of the seven deadly sins.
I’m pretty sure that both lust and greed come hand in hand, which just makes my life all the more fun. I pick up on the wavelength that she’s on and just go. So, maybe there’s a bit of pride too, but I know - just know - that I can get to her father this way. I get hurt and it’s like why go for the kill when you can go for the hurt? Maybe it’s a theory psychos in training use, but it works. I had to know why the Fitzpatricks were using this guy to falsify a report saying that I killed Felix.
Hannah? She’s just something that’s along the way.
And this whole attempt of convincing her that I’m better than I actually am, does nothing for self esteem, I can tell you that. Let’s see; before the winter carnival, I cut my hair, grabbed one of Duncan’s argyle and cozy looking sweaters and planned evil.
I have no delusions about what I’m doing, though I really do doubt that Hannah is entirely the sweet and innocent pixie she appears to be. I was once sixteen, and despite her claims of never being kissed, I had sure as hell had a lot more things done to me than just kisses. I had dated Lilly Kane after all.
Dating Lilly at that age was like saying ready without the set go. And I’ve noticed the pattern among my exes. There was no way I couldn’t. The going rate of girlfriends was increasing as well as the maintenance. A good percentage of my exes had cheated or left me for some other guy. So, to quote Nazareth: Love hurts.
It was never going to do anything else but hurt. There were no soul mates, but only some misconception that there was someone who was your perfect opposite. The yin to your yang. The light to your dark. It didn’t happen - I’d long since given up on it. So, this whole cold blooded trying to act like I’m boiling? It’s nothing. Maybe in the long term it’ll teach her what the rest of us have already learned.
My attempts to feel completely guiltless, spineless, are only just those: attempts. The sad truth was that I was even starting to like Hannah a little. There was no girl in the world who could say ‘dude’ like that - or none that I’d seen other than her. Plus, she smiled. She smiled like she wasn’t picking up on the amounts of publicly known past that I kept trying to hide with more charm, more flirt, and more candy to induce the two of us into a sugar coma.
So, why do I find myself waiting by her locker after school with a small smile on my face? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with trying to get a date out of her. I actually looked forward to this and I couldn’t help but keep wondering if she had her first kiss by me engraved in her head.
Pressing a hand against the locker next to hers, I leaned as she walked up to open her locker, a small smile played at my face.
"You know, princess, I was beginning to think that you might have stood me up," I said easily, the grin spreading as I tapped my fingers briefly against the cold metal of the other nearby locker. "I was thinking, if you’re not busy or even if you are that you’d cancel those plans and do some sort of dinner-slash-movie thing with me. I have to make up for you buying that cotton candy for me, anyway. Call it an attempt to make peace with Denmark, if you will."
"What do you say?" I asked, meeting her eyes with mine, "Humor me and don’t break my heart?" I clenched a hand over my heart dramatically.