cant help but...
feel a little neglected? unwanted? unneeded?
i remember for a long time, all i ran on was being needed by my friends. i dont have many friends that need me, or let me know that they need me anymore. some moved on, guess i couldn't satisfy their needs, i took on some of my own needs so they moved on, i started to think about my own mental health so they moved on.
i cant wait to move house. havent found one yet, got less than 17 days now, but, i really want to move.
just feel bleh.
going to lay awake in bed all night, sleep most of tomorrow and then do the til for the first time at work. which i am utterly petrified of, seriously, if i think about it, i almost choke and get teary cause im so scared.
and yes, i know i'll be fine, but it doesnt stop the fear, its like a medical test. you're sure you're fine, but just as precaution...
i have to call centrelink and talk about going on newstart jobseeking allowance stuff tomorrow. i'd like to just be able to stay home and be creative all day. you know, sew and make things, but, no, im realist, i know that i cant do that. i'll end up in some crappy retail job with people who are sure that im inferior to them. i like imperial chopsticks, they make me feel welcomed, already feel a bit like im considered family, its not as if i've only worked there for a month, its as if i've been a trusted employer for at least a year.
i mean come on... im balancing the bloody till tomorrow night... their cash, the money they have earnt...
besides, richard, the boss man keeps telling me i'm a hard worker, and that im intelligent, i was telling him saturday night night how good my family is to me and he said it was cause i was a good daughter.
i have my doubts now, but that just made me smile so much saturday night.
i miss snuggling with my dad, and i miss snuggling with mum. mum might be coming to visit this coming week. i hope she does. i really would love to spend some quality time with her, instead of running off to uni or work.
anyway, blegh.
i am peter petrelli...
"You are the most powerful hero there is, which is cool because you're also nice, smart, and good looking. Damn you. Ever the reluctant protagonist, you play a perfect foil to the show's villain. And your awful family. Who you of course love anyway because you're that darn heroic."
so says facebook "which hero character are you"
i love peter <3
i remember for a long time, all i ran on was being needed by my friends. i dont have many friends that need me, or let me know that they need me anymore. some moved on, guess i couldn't satisfy their needs, i took on some of my own needs so they moved on, i started to think about my own mental health so they moved on.
i cant wait to move house. havent found one yet, got less than 17 days now, but, i really want to move.
just feel bleh.
going to lay awake in bed all night, sleep most of tomorrow and then do the til for the first time at work. which i am utterly petrified of, seriously, if i think about it, i almost choke and get teary cause im so scared.
and yes, i know i'll be fine, but it doesnt stop the fear, its like a medical test. you're sure you're fine, but just as precaution...
i have to call centrelink and talk about going on newstart jobseeking allowance stuff tomorrow. i'd like to just be able to stay home and be creative all day. you know, sew and make things, but, no, im realist, i know that i cant do that. i'll end up in some crappy retail job with people who are sure that im inferior to them. i like imperial chopsticks, they make me feel welcomed, already feel a bit like im considered family, its not as if i've only worked there for a month, its as if i've been a trusted employer for at least a year.
i mean come on... im balancing the bloody till tomorrow night... their cash, the money they have earnt...
besides, richard, the boss man keeps telling me i'm a hard worker, and that im intelligent, i was telling him saturday night night how good my family is to me and he said it was cause i was a good daughter.
i have my doubts now, but that just made me smile so much saturday night.
i miss snuggling with my dad, and i miss snuggling with mum. mum might be coming to visit this coming week. i hope she does. i really would love to spend some quality time with her, instead of running off to uni or work.
anyway, blegh.
i am peter petrelli...
"You are the most powerful hero there is, which is cool because you're also nice, smart, and good looking. Damn you. Ever the reluctant protagonist, you play a perfect foil to the show's villain. And your awful family. Who you of course love anyway because you're that darn heroic."
so says facebook "which hero character are you"
i love peter <3