"I always wanted you. I only wanted more than I knew"

[lodessa]

OMG THE MOST AMAZINGLY UNEXPECTED THING HAPPENED LAST NIGHT. ERIC, WHO BROKE MY HEART INTO A MILLION LITTLE SHARDS OF PAIN TWO YEARS AGO, CALLED ME. WE HAVEN'T TALKED OR SEEN EACH OTHE FOR TWO YEARS... THE LAST TIME WAS WHEN WE HAD THAT DATE IN THE CITY AND THEN AFTER THAT HE DRUNKENLY MADE OUT WITH TWO OF MY "FRIENDS" AT A PARTY AND I LEARNED AND COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO CALL HIM AND THEN HE DIDN'T CALL FOR MONTHS, AT WHICH POINT I MISSED THE CALLS AND WAS NOT EVEN SURE IT WAS HIM BECAUSE I HAD DELETED HIM FROM MY PHONE (THE ONLY PERSON I EVER DELETED) AND HE DIDN'T LEAVE A MESSAGE AND I HAVE MOURNED OVER THE WHOLE THING EVER SINCE AND IT TOOK ME A YEAR AND A HALF TO EVEN START LIKING A GUY AGAIN. ERIC WHO I WAS SO VERY IN LOVE WITH FROM DAY ONE AND IT FELT LIKE FATE AND LIKE WE'D KNOWN EACH OTHER IN A PAST LIFE OR SOMETHING. ERIC WHO MADE ME CRAZY AND DRUNK OFF OF HIS PRESENCE AND WHO MADE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE AND THEN MADE ME DESPAIR IN IT. ERIC WHO I NEVER GOT ANY CLOSURE WITH. ERIC THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN I'VE EVER MET. ERIC, WHO MADE THE TIMES HE WAS AROUND FEEL LIKE A MOVIE. ERIC, WHO THINGS COULD NOT HAVE WORKED OUT WITH WHEN WE MET BECAUSE OF DISTANCE AND LACK OF CARS AND EVERYTHING EVER AND YET I COULD NOT RESIST AND WHO MADE EVERYTHING FEEL SO VERY RIGHT. ERIC. YES, THAT ERIC, CALLED ME... ON MY NEW NUMBER THAT HE GOT AHOLD OF BY CONTACTING THE FRIEND I USED TO GO TO HIS PARTIES WITH. ERIC. OH MY FUCKING GOD. ERIC.











































































Bonnie Raitt - All at Once