(no subject)
i don’t like looking outward. as ironic as inward perception is, it is the only kind i am comfortable with. i’m rarely ever relevant - a lost traveler from the future - and i care simultaneously too much and too little about this.
i love sensations that are luxurious and new, i love grasping at the raw experiences the world has to offer the way a child would but i cannot rely on my perception of the outer world to guide me. i never feel like looking outward will give me the right information; everything gets jumbled, discombobulated. my compass will always be a top-down, inward focus - intimate knowledge of my personal nuances and an ability to see where situations are going; what is going on behind the scenes; subtext, often perceived well before context.
i love sensations that are luxurious and new, i love grasping at the raw experiences the world has to offer the way a child would but i cannot rely on my perception of the outer world to guide me. i never feel like looking outward will give me the right information; everything gets jumbled, discombobulated. my compass will always be a top-down, inward focus - intimate knowledge of my personal nuances and an ability to see where situations are going; what is going on behind the scenes; subtext, often perceived well before context.