Intimacy & Judgment
from : Seven Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly
"It is easy to get into the habit of judgment. Once we begin to judge people, things and circumstance, judgment can rule our inner and outer dialogue. An inner dialogue (the mental conversations we are constantly having with ourselves) of judgment creates nothing but restlessness and discontent. An outer dialogue of judgment destroys honest and open communication, because none of us want to make ourselves vulnerable if we sense we will be shot down by judgement...... Judgment is one of the great poisons that kill relationships......The ability to suspend judgment is an essential characteristic if we wish to explore the very depths of intimacy. The path that leads to intimacy is blocked to those who are unwilling or unable to practice non-judgment."
Hrm...I have lots of those inner dialogues, the ones that cause restlessness and discontent. They are the voices in my head that tell me that I don't measure up, that that person doesn't really like ME, that I'm not good enough. Those inner dialogues can paralyze me in so many ways, physically, emotionally and spiritually. They are the dialogues that I see so many of my clients have with themselves. They turn to drugs, alcohol and many other vices to drown out their own inner judgment. What do I turn to?
"It is easy to get into the habit of judgment. Once we begin to judge people, things and circumstance, judgment can rule our inner and outer dialogue. An inner dialogue (the mental conversations we are constantly having with ourselves) of judgment creates nothing but restlessness and discontent. An outer dialogue of judgment destroys honest and open communication, because none of us want to make ourselves vulnerable if we sense we will be shot down by judgement...... Judgment is one of the great poisons that kill relationships......The ability to suspend judgment is an essential characteristic if we wish to explore the very depths of intimacy. The path that leads to intimacy is blocked to those who are unwilling or unable to practice non-judgment."
Hrm...I have lots of those inner dialogues, the ones that cause restlessness and discontent. They are the voices in my head that tell me that I don't measure up, that that person doesn't really like ME, that I'm not good enough. Those inner dialogues can paralyze me in so many ways, physically, emotionally and spiritually. They are the dialogues that I see so many of my clients have with themselves. They turn to drugs, alcohol and many other vices to drown out their own inner judgment. What do I turn to?