whoop
I had the absolute most orgasmic ribeye last night. Soooo thick, much more rare than medium rare - the center was all nice and cool and juicy and red. It was awesome. I made french toast this morning for breakfast and it rocked. Mondays are always the earliest. The boys always leave between 2-4am on Mondays, so that puts breakfast being early as fuck.
SO, all of that is good. I can eat and I'm not tossing shit back up and all. And I'm walking and talking just like a real girl. Only thing is that one of the cocktails I'm on - isn't working anymore. I'm soooo tired. Always. Fluid is back in my lungs, which we have to keep a close eye on because it could be pulmonary edema. And hair is falling out in handfulls again.
Rebeka wants to see me but it has to be early like right after work and she has to go to bed early for work. And I can't do that. I can't get out in the sunlight at all right now. I really am like a vampire on those heart pills. I burn instantly. And I can't keep my eyes open. And she wrote back and said, well hopefully you need the pills much longer. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? It's kind of a forever thing and I'm lucky my heart is working AT ALL. This is why she's so fucking hard to deal with. I try to tell her these things but she juest doesn't listen and completely tunes everything serious completely out. It's like I'm only worth acknowledging when I can do what she wants. I don't have the money right to go eat out somewhere regardless what time it is and if it's not after dark right now, it's not going down. I'm so horribly sorry they quadrupled my fucking heart meds.
And I want my god damn hair back. It was really pretty. I want it back now god dammit. And once I had a tan. Can you imagine that? ME with a tan? Yeah. It rocked. REALLY made my green eyes pop. I'd just cut my hair off again because it was awesome really short and all layered and punk like, but gee I'm only working with HALF the hair I had then, and w/ it long it's much easier to hide the fact I look like a fucking freak.
Guess that whole nice bright side of life thing isn't really going to work out for me is it?
SO, all of that is good. I can eat and I'm not tossing shit back up and all. And I'm walking and talking just like a real girl. Only thing is that one of the cocktails I'm on - isn't working anymore. I'm soooo tired. Always. Fluid is back in my lungs, which we have to keep a close eye on because it could be pulmonary edema. And hair is falling out in handfulls again.
Rebeka wants to see me but it has to be early like right after work and she has to go to bed early for work. And I can't do that. I can't get out in the sunlight at all right now. I really am like a vampire on those heart pills. I burn instantly. And I can't keep my eyes open. And she wrote back and said, well hopefully you need the pills much longer. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? It's kind of a forever thing and I'm lucky my heart is working AT ALL. This is why she's so fucking hard to deal with. I try to tell her these things but she juest doesn't listen and completely tunes everything serious completely out. It's like I'm only worth acknowledging when I can do what she wants. I don't have the money right to go eat out somewhere regardless what time it is and if it's not after dark right now, it's not going down. I'm so horribly sorry they quadrupled my fucking heart meds.
And I want my god damn hair back. It was really pretty. I want it back now god dammit. And once I had a tan. Can you imagine that? ME with a tan? Yeah. It rocked. REALLY made my green eyes pop. I'd just cut my hair off again because it was awesome really short and all layered and punk like, but gee I'm only working with HALF the hair I had then, and w/ it long it's much easier to hide the fact I look like a fucking freak.
Guess that whole nice bright side of life thing isn't really going to work out for me is it?