Been a minute
Let's see where to begin... Things haven't gotten any easier or better on any front. The manager at whispering oaks went on maternity leave and her replacement gave my apartment away. But hey, I was refunded the deposit. wtf? My only other option is Beau Chenes. It's the only other one that's close to the hospitals (umc/lourdes). And I only want the townhouse, but I still can't do stairs, so not sure how that would work right now. Plus, it's a little bit out of my price range. And by a little bit, I mean by about 350 after you add in utilities, since that's not included.
The lowest my fever has been since September is 100.5 but as of late it won't break below 102.8 so that's not exactly good. I stay cold. I used to never be cold, always hot. Not anymore. It can be 75 degress and I still find it cold. The extensive battery of tests I've been forced to endure has shown nothing more than what was already known. There's an infection that has gone straight to the kidneys and they're still not functioning all too well. The pills I'm on force fluids through, though and that's about all I can ask for at this point. The pain meds help take the edge off when I actually take them, but I fucking hate taking them. I'm usually forced to, though, because without them the pain is so bad I get really unbearable to be around. Blood tests suck, because they want those like three times a fucking week and nothing reduces the white cell count at all. And the red cell count is beyond fucked at this point too. And despite being under house arrest, I've managed to get bronchial pneumonia. So, that sucks. I can't really talk much anymore. Speaking takes way too much energy and requires me to breathe deeper than I've been able to do for over a month now.
I don't speak to Rebeka anymore. I got tired of being her proverbial punching bag and being told that it's my fault god caused her wreck because she went to baton rouge with me for halloween and smoked, drank, took pills, and *gasp* hung out with lesbians. Fuck you. And then through away half an ounce of pot becuase it was the spiritual move for her, even though that is the only thing that cuts the nausea at all anymore. Which is rich considering spending 48 hours in a hospital with her was in no way beneficial to my health at all. And spent my lousy as birthday there, only to be berated by her the entire time. I was allowed to say anything to anyone or tell her what was being said about her, but it was ok for her to tell my father that he was a lousy parent and needed to take control and that she was informing Nathan I was leaving the house and to have my stuff packed. WTF? And threw over a thousand dollars worth of my stuff into a bag that got all scratched to shit. So fucking pissed. But ok. So, I'm done. I have no fucking clue what she said in all honesty beyond what she told me she said to daddy or Nate, because neither of them would repeat it. SO, yeah. And karma's a bitch, so I hope its making certain peoples lives fucking miserable.
Met a boy. Well, already met him, but kinda like him now. Only he knows less than nothing about me being sick, because I've not been in lafayette besides appointments and hospital stays so no time to hang out and I've not told anyone anything about when my appointments are or when I'm admitted because it's easier for me that way. No one needs to see me. It's not pretty. Sucks. I kinda like this guy, but I learned the hard way that as soon as you're honest about being sick, you get dropped quicker than a baby jesus butt plug. So, I'm just going to stay away. Getting close to anyone has never been a good move in my opinion, so I stay away from everyone and it's easier that way. Kinda helps curb the need for people to disappoint me and kick me to shit. I do know that the point where I was willing to forgive and forget has long since passed. Fuck everyone that has made ME feel like shit for having multiple organ failure. Cold fucking bastards. The whole lot of em.
The lowest my fever has been since September is 100.5 but as of late it won't break below 102.8 so that's not exactly good. I stay cold. I used to never be cold, always hot. Not anymore. It can be 75 degress and I still find it cold. The extensive battery of tests I've been forced to endure has shown nothing more than what was already known. There's an infection that has gone straight to the kidneys and they're still not functioning all too well. The pills I'm on force fluids through, though and that's about all I can ask for at this point. The pain meds help take the edge off when I actually take them, but I fucking hate taking them. I'm usually forced to, though, because without them the pain is so bad I get really unbearable to be around. Blood tests suck, because they want those like three times a fucking week and nothing reduces the white cell count at all. And the red cell count is beyond fucked at this point too. And despite being under house arrest, I've managed to get bronchial pneumonia. So, that sucks. I can't really talk much anymore. Speaking takes way too much energy and requires me to breathe deeper than I've been able to do for over a month now.
I don't speak to Rebeka anymore. I got tired of being her proverbial punching bag and being told that it's my fault god caused her wreck because she went to baton rouge with me for halloween and smoked, drank, took pills, and *gasp* hung out with lesbians. Fuck you. And then through away half an ounce of pot becuase it was the spiritual move for her, even though that is the only thing that cuts the nausea at all anymore. Which is rich considering spending 48 hours in a hospital with her was in no way beneficial to my health at all. And spent my lousy as birthday there, only to be berated by her the entire time. I was allowed to say anything to anyone or tell her what was being said about her, but it was ok for her to tell my father that he was a lousy parent and needed to take control and that she was informing Nathan I was leaving the house and to have my stuff packed. WTF? And threw over a thousand dollars worth of my stuff into a bag that got all scratched to shit. So fucking pissed. But ok. So, I'm done. I have no fucking clue what she said in all honesty beyond what she told me she said to daddy or Nate, because neither of them would repeat it. SO, yeah. And karma's a bitch, so I hope its making certain peoples lives fucking miserable.
Met a boy. Well, already met him, but kinda like him now. Only he knows less than nothing about me being sick, because I've not been in lafayette besides appointments and hospital stays so no time to hang out and I've not told anyone anything about when my appointments are or when I'm admitted because it's easier for me that way. No one needs to see me. It's not pretty. Sucks. I kinda like this guy, but I learned the hard way that as soon as you're honest about being sick, you get dropped quicker than a baby jesus butt plug. So, I'm just going to stay away. Getting close to anyone has never been a good move in my opinion, so I stay away from everyone and it's easier that way. Kinda helps curb the need for people to disappoint me and kick me to shit. I do know that the point where I was willing to forgive and forget has long since passed. Fuck everyone that has made ME feel like shit for having multiple organ failure. Cold fucking bastards. The whole lot of em.