RANT
recently i had to describe myself and this is the best i could come up with, i'm mentally bored and apathetic to everyday life. i guess that about sums up how i feel right now. i mean i have a new boy and all but i don't know, i definitely don't need another relationship after the last one. i really like him and enjoy what we've got but i mean one of the main reasons dylan and i broke up was because i didn't feel i could understand love until i understood myself. although, maybe i just said that because i didn't understand why he was so in love with me and i didn't feel the same way. i don't know. i have problems...i can't seem to figure out what i want out of life, life seems to have taken too much out of me. i sound like a whiny asshole who doesn't appreciate what she has! one day i'm going to wake up and i will have lost everything i've loved because of my insecurities and denial of the truth. i don't regret anything i've done in the past but i've already ditched two boys that worshiped me and for what? well....i know what, but that's beside the point, or maybe that is the point. i'm always looking for something better. well, not anymore. i feel content in that respect, but not with my life in general. i feel very...uncomfertable, unsettled. i need to stop thinking and just live. that's my goddamn problem!