Ok some of these are true in real life I swear.....
Things you learn from watching porn.....
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent. (Hey, Ive never had that problem)
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. (Wouldnt that be sweet)
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. (In a couple of years I will hope this is true)
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. (The voice vibrations feel good)
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. (Ok, common, This one is true)
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real. (Does it matter?)
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. (Yes that is an enjoyable practice)
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) (Um... this reminds me of an interesting story...cough..sputter..cough)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist. (Hey... if they dont have a penis they arent men.. sorry........jk)
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. (bash seven shades of shit out of you.... i like that phrase)
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. (Fuck yes)
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks. (Helps with the healing)
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods. (HA!)
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. (I see no problem here)
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. (Exactly)
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent. (Hey, Ive never had that problem)
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. (Wouldnt that be sweet)
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. (In a couple of years I will hope this is true)
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. (The voice vibrations feel good)
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. (Ok, common, This one is true)
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real. (Does it matter?)
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. (Yes that is an enjoyable practice)
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) (Um... this reminds me of an interesting story...cough..sputter..cough)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist. (Hey... if they dont have a penis they arent men.. sorry........jk)
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. (bash seven shades of shit out of you.... i like that phrase)
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. (Fuck yes)
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks. (Helps with the healing)
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods. (HA!)
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. (I see no problem here)
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. (Exactly)