i know im late.... but i have to steal the neighbors internet... or use dial up
I sit here reading all of my friends beautiful entries... all the stories about college, about how despite the lonliness that overcame them at first they have come through, and they have found their place. All the stories about how much fun they've had, and how they look forward to wats to come. It makes me happy, really.... it brings tears to my eyes, but at the same time makes me so scared. I feel like im not there to see everything that goes on in their lives, and i feel like i've been out of the loop. I dont want to fall behind, i want to be right there with them, but i have to wait. I still have 19 days left - i just sit here, and i wait. I have no internet technically, cuz i just moved into my new house and the stupid bellsouth dsl pple dont wanna come til the 26th of sept (WTF???) - I wanna go to college already... my mom doesnt cry like every1 else's parents do, and it hurts me kinda. Its almost as if she can't wait for me to leave. It makes me wanna leave now. It's weird being home, and having all the things you used to know start changing. All your friends start leaving, you're not sure who to call... I dunno. I still feel like this is home, its just that, its a new house, and i've been with new pple sorta. ... alrite, no more mushy stuff, im just confusing myself - the point is, i miss pple and i cant wait to go to college.
ok.... so its not like i've been depressed this whole time. Moving into a new house is always sort of refreshing and exciting, but its a bit frustrating cuz i dont really fit in my new room - i have too much clothing. lol. And the VMAs... i think its been the highlight of my summer. Seeing my oh so wonderful juniors(now seniors, but w/e they're still juniors to me) ... I love being with them. And spending hours upon hours anticipating the big show... i have to say its not something im going to forget anytime soon. The rush that builds up as you see stars starting to fill up the seats around you. You realize that showtime is only minutes away...and then that deep announcer voice comes on and the explosions begin as greenday kicks major ass on stage. All the hours of standing and waiting are suddenly erased and you have all this energy - everyone is jumping screaming...its so amazing. and then of course... D - I - D - D - Y.... diddy is your host tonite ... lol....ahhh! So after singing and dancing for 3 hours with no water...exhaustion kicking in, you realize that kelly clarkson is about to come on stage, every1 starts to crowd around waiting for her to start singing. "SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE!"...and the rain machine starts spinning, your can see the drops come down in slow motion...and as she starts screaming into the microphone you forget everything, all you know is that there is water, its cold, it feels good, and you cant stop jumping - your'e screaming, and you know you're singing, but ur not sure where the energy is coming from anymore. At that point - you are in love with everyone. Its great, everyone should try
it.
he makes me happy, but im leaving...but i want to be happy.
ok.... so its not like i've been depressed this whole time. Moving into a new house is always sort of refreshing and exciting, but its a bit frustrating cuz i dont really fit in my new room - i have too much clothing. lol. And the VMAs... i think its been the highlight of my summer. Seeing my oh so wonderful juniors(now seniors, but w/e they're still juniors to me) ... I love being with them. And spending hours upon hours anticipating the big show... i have to say its not something im going to forget anytime soon. The rush that builds up as you see stars starting to fill up the seats around you. You realize that showtime is only minutes away...and then that deep announcer voice comes on and the explosions begin as greenday kicks major ass on stage. All the hours of standing and waiting are suddenly erased and you have all this energy - everyone is jumping screaming...its so amazing. and then of course... D - I - D - D - Y.... diddy is your host tonite ... lol....ahhh! So after singing and dancing for 3 hours with no water...exhaustion kicking in, you realize that kelly clarkson is about to come on stage, every1 starts to crowd around waiting for her to start singing. "SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE!"...and the rain machine starts spinning, your can see the drops come down in slow motion...and as she starts screaming into the microphone you forget everything, all you know is that there is water, its cold, it feels good, and you cant stop jumping - your'e screaming, and you know you're singing, but ur not sure where the energy is coming from anymore. At that point - you are in love with everyone. Its great, everyone should try
it.
he makes me happy, but im leaving...but i want to be happy.