fic: Made of Patterns
Title: Made of Patterns
Pairing: Gerard/David Kennedy, Gerard/Lindsey (off-screen)
Rated: NC-17
Summary: David knows he shouldn't want what he can't have, but when it comes to Gerard he just can't forget.
Warnings: language, m/m sex
Notes: So much thanks to so many people out there. To nadialexandra and
koalopus for all the help and advice and, in the latter case, the speedy beta. To vamm_goda for an additional look-over, and title/summary help, as well as hand-holdingly wonderful reassurance that I did not, in fact, rip off her Angels & Airwaves epic (found here because EVERYONE should read it, it's so completely amazing).
This fic may be part of a series, or it may not be. I haven't decided yet. It was inspired by the Oh My God We Need Some Porn In Here Stat Porn Meme, and is a fill to my own prompt. Title from Paul Simon's 'Patterns.' Approx. 5,000 words.David didn’t think anything of being in Jersey the same time Gerard was. Gerard had a kid, now, had a real family he had to look out for. Things were different. Besides, they probably wouldn’t even see each other. So David resolved to just focus on Angels stuff and not worry about social calendars colliding.
Yeah, right.
Matt saw right through his bullshit. Matt always did. He saw the way David buried himself in work for the band and he knew exactly why he was doing it.
They’d bumped into each other for the first time in over two years when blink was getting ready for the Honda Civic Tour with My Chem. David tended to follow Tom around like a puppy even when Angels was on break. So he’d been there, and he’d seen the shock of red hair, and he’d known who it was. They’d had a brief conversation, made awkward by David’s uncertainty. Frank had maybe made fun of David a little, and Mikey had maybe rolled his eyes a lot, and Ray had maybe given David a sympathetic smile. Maybe. David wasn’t paying attention to them. He’d only been paying attention to the way Gerard seemed to glow when he brought up his baby girl, and David had known then: things were different.
But Gerard had still hugged him and David had still breathed in the smell of him when he did, and when they’d parted ways, David had wondered when the next time he saw him would be.
He hadn’t expected it to be so soon.
They were at Looney Tunes for the LOVE II album drop, and he didn’t really realize he’d been looking for the red hair until he didn’t see it. Gerard’s hair was black now, and he didn’t come forward, but hung in back, watching through the throngs of people. There was this tiny smile on his face. David only caught a glimpse of him, but it was enough to throw him off for the rest of the signing, enough to have his heart pounding and his palms sweating a little. He stammered more than usual, enough that Matt pressed his knee against his own under the table. Matt was sort of awesome. He’d had to shift around and turn to face David a little, because they were sitting far enough apart that he couldn’t just shift his leg over. It helped that they were both left-handed. Matt could still face him, could move enough to touch him without it looking conspicuous, and he could still sign, too.
David had a feeling he would’ve done it even if it meant he couldn’t still sign. Matt was just that kind of guy.
They had shit to do in New York after Looney Tunes, and David was intent on getting the hell outta Dodge, so to speak. But when he got back to his hotel room, he found his room wasn’t empty.
Gerard stood up from the little dinette table when David came into the room. He was fiddling with his hair, like he could just never leave the shit alone. David felt his eyes widen a little, felt his shoulders tense.
“Is it bad that I’m here?” Gerard asked.
He sounded timid, even a little scared, and God, David was just fucking overwhelmed with this urge to wrap him up tight, protect him, drive away whatever was making him sound like that. And then he realized, with a sort of jolt, that he was making Gerard sound like that.
David swallowed and forced his shoulders to relax as he shrugged out of first his leather jacket, then his plaid button-up. He pushed his hat off last, and combed his fingers through his hair to fluff it up a little. From the corner of his eye, he could see Gerard’s hand twitch, like he wanted to be the one to do it. David felt the sentiment echoed inside himself. He swallowed.
“No, Dude, it’s cool,” he said at last. He could hear Gerard’s sigh of relief from across the room. “How’d you even get in here?”
Gerard shrugged shyly, then pulled a keycard from his jacket pocket. “Chris gave me your spare key.”
Of course. David always gave his spare keycard to AVA’s tour manager, Chris Georggin, because he tended to lose either or both of his keycards if he wasn’t careful. And Chris knew about David and Gerard’s history; of course he would give Gerard a way into David’s room.
Gerard took a half-step closer, paused for just a moment, then walked up and pulled David into a hug, anyway, like he couldn’t not. And just like the last time they’d done this, David breathed him in. Somehow, Gerard always smelled the same: like hair dye, cigarettes, sweat, coffee, and something else that was just distinctly Gerard. Sometimes it was stronger than others, sometimes it wasn’t, but it was always there, and it always hit David in the stomach with how much he wanted.
David was a lot taller than Gerard; Gerard had to push up onto his toes to wrap his arms around David’s shoulders. David wrapped his arms around Gerard’s middle to help steady him.
“I missed you,” Gerard murmured into his neck. David closed his eyes against the feeling of Gerard’s lips brushing against his throat. He swallowed and sorta started leaning back-
And then Gerard was kissing him, deep and needy and with this almost desperate edge to it. David kissed back more out of memory than conscious decision. It was just the way it had always worked: when Gerard kissed him, he kissed back. Something settled inside him, something like coming home and something like yes. David could remember with crystal clarity the first time they’d done this. He could remember the second and the third, too. He could remember every moment, the way Gerard’s body felt against his, the way Gerard sounded, like only David existed in the world, like he only existed for David.
The first touch of Gerard’s wedding ring on David’s jaw reminded him, abruptly and almost painfully, that this wasn’t true anymore. He covered Gerard’s hands with his and pulled back from the kiss, straightening so Gerard couldn’t follow. Judging by the sound Gerard made, he’d tried. David didn’t know for sure, because he’d kept his eyes closed.
“Gee, no,” he gasped. He was still panting a bit from the kiss, and he swallowed. “We can’t do this anymore.” He lowered Gerard’s hands, thumb rubbing against the warmed gold on Gerard’s finger. “You can’t do this anymore.”
“David, I-”
“You should maybe leave,” David murmured. He stepped away, towards the bed, still avoiding Gerard’s face. If he saw Gerard’s face, it’d be over. He knew that much. Gerard’s entire body pleaded for what he wanted, to the point where it was nearly impossible to deny him. And the problem was David didn’t want to deny him.
It was more selfish than it sounded.
“David, wait,” Gerard said, like David was the one leaving the room. David heard him step closer, but he still jumped when Gerard’s arms slid around him from behind. “David, please.” Gerard’s breath was hot against his back through his last remaining shirt. “I need this. Please?”
David fell still when Gerard’s hand slid down, down, over his belt buckle and further, to his crotch. He closed his eyes, and felt more than heard Gerard’s indrawn breath.
“God, I missed this,” Gerard murmured. “Missed you. I just, I want-”
“Gerard, it’s different,” David hissed. He hadn’t pushed Gerard’s hand away, but he wasn’t hitching his hips towards it, either, despite the way Gerard rubbed the heel against his crotch, the way he framed David’s dick through the denim and cotton separating skin, despite the way he felt himself getting hard, the way his heartbeat kicked up, saying yespleaseyes.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Gerard breathed. “Please, David. She knows I need you, it’s okay.” His hand, his fucking hand, it didn’t stop. “David, please,” he repeated.
David wasn’t prone to lying to himself, but when the bead of sweat trickled down his spine and he turned to face Gerard, he told himself that it was to get the heat of Gerard’s mouth off his back, so it would stop sweating, and that it had nothing to do with wanting to kiss that perfect mouth of his. Even though that was what he did.
Gerard moaned up into David’s mouth. He cupped a hand at David’s nape, keeping him close, while the other worked on the belt buckle. He nipped David’s lip when he cursed while fumbling it, but David just nipped back. Gerard seemed to forget all about the belt buckle; instead, he focused all of his attention on David’s mouth, on his tongue, and held onto David’s face tightly as he did. God, David had missed this, missed the frantic energy inherent to Gerard, missed the way he put all of himself into a moment.
He gasped Gerard’s name and tore from the kiss, but only long enough to turn them both, to pin Gerard down on the bed. Gerard bit his lip and arched up towards him. David held himself up above Gerard’s body, touching only where his hands held Gerard’s wrists, where his knee pressed against Gerard’s thigh as it bore into the mattress.
“Please,” Gerard gasped. “Please, please, David, c’mon, I just-”
David couldn’t help a grin. “God, that hasn’t fucking changed at all,” he teased. He lifted his left hand from Gerard’s right wrist, and smoothed his hand down the length of Gerard’s torso. Gerard groaned and arched up towards it. “So fucking responsive, Gee. God, I missed this.”
“Yes, yeah, God, fuck, David,” he babbled. He lifted one leg to frame David’s hip and tried to grind up against him. David tightened his stomach muscles to hold his groin just out of reach. Gerard whined. “David, please.”
David’s grin turned a little crooked, and he lowered his head to kiss Gerard lightly. Gerard quickly turned it hot and deep, and David forgot all about any plans he might have. He lowered himself until they were pressed flush from shoulders to knees. Gerard’s dick was hard against David’s lower stomach. David shifted up until he had to curl his upper body down over Gerard’s to keep the kiss, but now their hips were lined up, and they could rut against each other like a couple teenagers. It felt fucking awesome.
It wasn’t like David had been celibate since he’d stopped seeing Gerard. He’d been with guys and girls alike since the awkward slow-to-stop end to their relationship back in 2006. It was just that it had always seemed best with Gerard, and now was no exception. David figured it was because Gerard felt everything so genuinely and with every part of him. That tended to help David let go in ways he usually didn’t. He didn’t have to hold back when he was with Gerard - more importantly, Gerard didn’t want him to hold back.
Fleetingly, David found himself wondering if Gerard was this needy, this into it, with Lindsey.
And then Gerard was fumbling with his belt buckle again while Gerard’s mouth busily sucked on David’s tongue. David moaned, all other thoughts forgotten, because, yeah. Gerard had a mouth like a fucking Hoover.
“God, fucking-” Gerard growled. David’s hips jumped towards his hands. “Why d’you gotta wear this fucking thing, D?”
“You’re one to complain,” David pointed out. “Fucking 2004, couldn’t get that damn bat off your belt to save my fucking life, Dude.”
Gerard maybe blushed a little. “You said it was sexy! And then you came on my face!”
David grinned and kissed him again. “No. I said you were sexy. And then I came on your face.”
“But I was wearing the belt buckle when you said it, so by association- mmph!”
David kissed him to shut him up. He knew if he didn’t cut Gerard off at the pass, they’d just bicker about it all fucking night. (Gerard didn’t seem to mind the interruption so much.)
Between the two of them, they managed to get David’s fucking belt open. Gerard wasted no time on following suit with David’s jeans, then he pushed them and his briefs down and wrapped his hand around David’s dick. David gasped at the first touch. He rolled his hips forward, into Gerard’s hand. Gerard’s eyes were dark, focused on David’s face, watching his reactions. It was fucking hot.
“Missed you,” Gerard breathed. His eyebrows went up a little in the middle, like it was David’s hand on Gerard’s dick and not the other way around. “God, David, fucking missed you.”
David’s belly swooped a little, and he nodded. He kissed him again, lightly, framing Gerard’s face with his hands and rubbing gently at his scalp with his fingertips. Gerard watched him, they watched each other, and David knew that they were both reminiscing about the same thing right at that moment. The what ifs and the maybes and the could-have-beens. Then David shook his head and leaned up a bit. He blindly sought out Gerard’s left hand and kissed the knuckle holding his ring. Gerard’s face got a little wistful - David thought that was the right word for it - and he brushed the backs of his fingers over David’s lips.
Then he hooked his hand over the back of David’s neck and hauled him down for a kiss David could only call fierce.
It was five years of separation, five years of pining and nostalgia and pent-up lust, five years of feeling, at least on David’s end, like something was missing, and it was all rolled into one kiss. Their teeth clashed and their noses knocked together. Gerard’s fingers bore bruises into David’s neck, like he thought maybe David was going to break away and end this too soon. Gerard made tiny noises in his throat that squeezed out on each breath he gasped out; David’s ears greedily took what sounds they could. A spark of pain flared in David’s lower lip where Gerard’s teeth latched on a little too hard, but then Gerard was sucking on the spot, easing the pain with lips and tongue, and David returned the favor on Gerard’s upper lip.
They broke apart to gasp harshly for air, but even outside of the kiss, the hotel room seemed hot and close. David eased Gerard’s hand away from his dick and he leaned up over Gerard’s body again. Gerard was still wearing that stupid army jacket - but not for long. It was a mercy that Gerard didn’t tend to zip up his jackets. David pushed it off over his shoulders. Gerard flailed a little as he worked his arms out of the sleeves, and when he sat up to let David pull it out from under him, he caught him in another kiss. David allowed it.
Then he pulled Gerard’s shirt up over his head and shoved him almost roughly back down onto his back. That was all the warning Gerard got before David’s mouth was on his skin. He just tasted at first, licking the sweat off Gerard’s sternum and out of the hollow of his throat, nipping along his clavicle and then down to his nipple. His hands smoothed up Gerard’s sides from hips to ribs. Gerard’s chest heaved under David’s mouth as he panted.
“Fuck, you got thin,” David breathed. Gerard’s flush traveled down to his chest, then faded a little.
“So’d you,” Gerard pointed out.
And, okay. They’d both started out pudgy, but David had started losing the weight after Box Car had ended. He and Gerard had already sort of stopped seeing each other by the time the weight had been completely gone, so Gerard hadn’t witnessed the final results firsthand, not until that hug. David hadn’t realized how much thinner Gerard was even then, because he always layered up those stupid jackets of his.
“Whatever,” he said a little shyly. “I just- I wasn’t, like, expecting it.”
Gerard nodded and combed his fingers into David’s hair. He didn’t guide David’s head or tug on his hair, just held on gently, like David might float away if he didn’t. David understood: he sort of felt like he might.
He lowered his mouth to Gerard’s skin again, sucked lightly on his nipple before moving down his stomach. He made a small sound at the taste of him, something so visceral that he hadn’t even realized he’d been missing until he had it again, and he nipped a bruise into the spot to remember it by. Gerard moaned above him. His fingers tightened in David’s hair and he writhed in place. David sighed into his skin. Fuck, he’d so, so fucking missed this.
He opened Gerard’s belt, then his jeans, and pressed a kiss to his skin through the cotton of his bright purple briefs. David smiled against them.
“Gotta admit, I missed these, too,” he murmured. Gerard didn’t say anything, but David could tell by the subtle way his panting changed that he was smiling. “Gee. Gerard, I just- Can I just-”
“Please, yeah, yeah,” Gerard said quickly. David laughed.
“Y’don’t even know what I’m gonna say.”
“Don’t care,” Gerard said. “Don’t fucking care, anything, David, you can have anything.”
David shuddered hard and nuzzled Gerard’s hip. “God, Gee.”
With that, he curled his fingers into Gerard’s open jeans and yanked them down. Gerard gasped when he slid down the bed a few inches. He shifted his hips to help David get the briefs off, then kicked his legs a bit to work them down his legs. David tugged Gerard’s sneakers off for him and removed the last of his clothes.
“You’re still wearing stuff,” Gerard pointed out. He sounded a little breathless. David grinned, then shoved his jeans down his legs and kicked off his sneakers, too.
Just a moment later, they were both totally naked, and Gerard stared at David’s body, drinking in the sight. David couldn’t even feel self-conscious about it, because he knew how he felt: he was doing the same thing to Gerard.
David leaned over him for another kiss, then shifted down Gerard’s body once more. This time, he pulled Gerard’s dick into his mouth. Gerard let out a low sigh, and David could feel the way Gerard’s thighs and stomach trembled from the effort of holding still. David appreciated it. Sucking dick wasn’t exactly his forte. It wasn’t so much that he was bad at it, or even that he didn’t like it. He just figured his mouth could be put to better use than sucking dick.
He also sort of preferred to have his own dick sucked.
But he’d missed the way Gerard tasted, missed how he felt against his tongue, and he’d missed the sounds Gerard made when he bobbed his head and sealed his hand with his mouth. He’d missed the sounds Gerard made when he worked him so close to orgasm, only to ease him back so he could find condoms and lube.
When he had them in his hand, he bit his lip. “Gee, are you sure it’s-”
“I’m sure, David, I’m positive, please.”
David nodded and murmured ‘okay, okay’ half to himself and half to Gerard as he shifted his knees on the bed. He set the condom aside and flicked open the cap on the lube. He had no idea how long it’d been since Gerard had last had sex with a guy. Hell, he had no idea if maybe Lindsey used toys on him, and it didn’t seem like the thing to ask. So, instead, David was just a little liberal with the lube, and maybe a little liberal with his fingers, working his way up to four.
Gerard writhed beneath him, legs spread wide to accommodate him, hands tangling in the sheets above his own head as if to ground himself. David was fucking captivated. Gerard’s eyes were closed, and his eyebrows were up in the middle again, like he didn’t know what to do with what he was feeling - with what David was making him feel. His mouth hung open to let the tiny sounds he was making slip out, and his skin was flushed and starting to shine with sweat. God, it was fucking beautiful.
David wasn’t entirely sure how he’d allowed himself to let this go.
He curled his fingers inside Gerard. Gerard cried out and his spine arched. David bit his lip and felt his dick twitch. God, Jesus, this was hot to watch.
“God, oh God, David,” Gerard gasped. “Fuck, I need, I need-” He trailed off in a low whine, body twisting as if he could direct where David’s fingers went.
“Gee, breathe,” David murmured. He slid his fingers out and wiped them on the sheets. Gerard groaned and shifted. David recognized that groan: it was the groan that said he felt empty, and he didn’t much like it. His dick was leaking precome all over his stomach. He looked ready to burst, in one way or another. David fumbled the condom open and rolled it on, then slicked it up with lube.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Gerard gasped. He spread his legs wider, even hooked one hand under one knee to pull it up out of the way. “David, please, please.”
“I got you,” David assured softly.
He knee-walked closer and lined his dick up, then pressed in. He braced one hand on the bed and leaned over Gerard. Gerard’s head tipped back, eyes squeezed shut. He clutched David’s arm tight enough to almost hurt. His throat worked as he swallowed hard, then he gasped out,
“Shit. Fucking forgot how- good you feel, oh God.”
David pressed his lips together, brow furrowing in concentration. He had to go slow, had to be careful; he didn’t want to hurt Gerard by moving too hard or fast before his body was used to this.
“Jesus, Gerard, how long’s it been?”
“You,” Gerard murmured. His voice was tight as he struggled to relax. He opened his eyes and met David’s, and David knew he was telling the truth. “Since you.”
David’s belly swooped again, and he stared down at him. “Fuck.”
“Please,” Gerard half-sobbed, and he clenched around David’s dick. David gasped and jerked into him.
“Fuck, you’re kidding,” he said.
Gerard shook his head, tossing his sweaty hair over his brow. He looked almost pained, and David bit his lip and thrust shallowly, so carefully, to help him get used to it again.
“Not kidding,” Gerard said breathlessly. “Fucking missed this, David, David, oh my god.”
“Gee,” David hissed. He lifted his hand from his dick and cupped Gerard’s face. “Fuck, Gerard, just breathe a minute, huh? Just, just breathe a minute.”
Gerard nodded, even as he leaned into David’s touch. It seemed to take forever, seemed to stretch on for hours, but finally David felt him relax around him, enough that he could slide almost all the way out and thrust back in slowly. Gerard made a sound that was almost squeezed out of him, long and high, as his back arched. It pushed his hips down onto David. David groaned, because it felt like he was being drawn in even deeper, if it were possible.
“God, you feel so fucking good,” Gerard gasped. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, David, so fucking good.”
David wanted to tell Gerard that he felt good, squeezing around his dick like that, holding him in, hot and tight around him. But words were failing him. He could only open his mouth and let out short, fast breaths as he drew his hips back and thrust in again.
Gerard let go of his own leg, and wrapped both around David’s waist. Together, they figured out a stuttering rhythm. It was slow at first, erratic, but as they both got used to it, it started to smooth out, draw out longer. Soon enough, Gerard was moaning steadily, clutching to David’s shoulders. David grunted softly with each thrust, then tried to muffle Gerard with his own mouth, catching his lips in a sharp kiss.
Gerard shifted his hips and tightened his legs. He gasped David’s name, and David remembered this. He reached down and slid one hand under him. He pressed his elbow into the mattress and smoothed his hand over Gerard’s sweaty lower back. It pinned his arm between Gerard and the bed, it lifted Gerard up a bit, and it didn’t change the angle much, but it was enough. With each thrust, David’s dick pressed against Gerard’s prostate, and Gerard cried out.
“Fuck- oh my god, don’t stop!”
David had no intention of stopping. He rolled his hips faster and buried his face into Gerard’s neck. If he watched his face, now of all times, he was going to come apart, he could feel it. Gerard’s fingers tightened on his shoulders.
“David- David, make me come, I need- I need- ‘M so close, D, please.”
“Fuck,” David breathed.
He moved his free hand off of Gerard’s thigh and wormed it between them. Gerard broke off into a litany of curses and cries when David wrapped his fingers around his dick and started pumping. David’s arm tightened beneath him to pull him close. He swept his thumb against the head on an upward stroke. Gerard’s voice tightened, and then so did his whole body as he came hard.
David had to stop moving for a moment as Gerard’s body clamped around him. He gasped, brow furrowing and body trembling. Then Gerard relaxed, and David let out a sigh of relief. He fucked into him, fast and hard, until he came, too, with a ragged cry. And David wasn’t one for clichés, but he sort of felt like he whited out for a minute or two, body zinging and almost tingling. He couldn’t fucking remember the last time he’d come so hard.
He sagged, but tried not to drop his weight too heavily on Gerard. Gerard’s hands cupped his face and lifted his head for a slow kiss. David made a sound into it.
“Gee,” he murmured.
Gerard just kissed him again, slow and deep and fucking loving.
Before too long, David gripped the base of the condom and pulled out. Gerard made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan at the feeling, then stretched languidly. David paused in tying off the condom to watch. God, the man was just beautiful, it wasn’t even fair. He didn’t even realize he’d been staring until Gerard looked at him and blushed and said,
“What?”
David smiled. “Nothing.”
He tossed the condom into the trash can, then grabbed the edge of the sheet to wipe them both off. Gerard had come all over his own belly, and it had smeared where David’s stomach had pressed against it after his own orgasm. He used the sheet to swipe at least most of it off, so it wouldn’t stick and flake on Gerard’s skin.
“So considerate,” Gerard teased when he did. David rolled his eyes, but grinned crookedly and settled down on the bed next to him.
Gerard rolled to face him, fingers tracing the skull tattoo on David’s left pec. He walked his fingers to the snake on his sternum, then up over the lettering and finally to his naked throat. David thought it looked like he was working on memorizing everything he saw and felt. He swallowed, then shifted forward and kissed him. When Gerard pushed, though, he leaned back, and the flash on confusion left his eyes quickly when Gerard guided him onto his back and straddled his thighs. Gerard’s eyes were serious when they looked down at him, when his hands smoothed over the ink, old and new, on David’s skin.
“Why did you tell me to leave?” he asked, voice low and soft.
David rested his hands on Gerard’s thighs, just touching.
“I just,” he tried, and stopped. He licked his lips, let out a little sigh, and tried again. “I thought things were different. You’ve got, y’know, your daughter. I thought . . .” He trailed off when Gerard’s eyes turned a little sad. David shook his head. “God, don’t look at me like that, Dude.”
“You thought we’d have to stop seeing each other because of Bandit?” Gerard murmured. David shrugged.
“I thought you’d have to start, like, start being fucking responsible to your family.” He sounded a little snippy, and he knew it, but Gerard wasn’t fazed. He just leaned down, elbows on David’s chest, and kissed him.
“You’re so fucking noble, David Kennedy.” He sighed and kissed him again. “I’m always gonna love you, y’know? I’m always gonna want you.”
David felt his face heat, and he slid his eyes away from Gerard’s intense gaze.
“Yeah, but-”
“But nothing. Stop trying to over-think shit, okay?”
“But-”
Gerard kissed him firmly. “Shh. Seriously. Just. You don’t need to analyze this, David. It is what it is, okay? It’s here. I’m here.” And then Gerard got self-conscious, looking down at David’s swallows and tracing the naval star on his collarbone. “If . . . If you want me.”
David looked at him again. He combed his fingers into Gerard’s hair and scritched lightly at his scalp. Gerard’s eyes drifted closed and he leaned into it, like a cat looking for affection. When he’d relaxed just enough, David leaned up and kissed him.
“Course I fucking want you, idiot,” he murmured. “I never stopped.”
Gerard’s face lit up in that way that David loved, the way that made him fucking glow, like nothing else in the world could make him happier than what was right before him. It was the look David had thought he’d never see directed at him again. It made his heart pound and he wrapped his arms around Gerard tightly. He kissed Gerard’s jaw, then his mouth. Gerard made a small sound and met the kiss, and this time he kept it nice and easy, light, but promising, too.
Gerard rested his cheek on David’s chest and sighed softly.
“What time are they expecting you back?” David asked. He felt Gerard shrug, and rubbed his back.
“In time to put B to bed,” he said. “I figured that’d give me enough time.”
David blinked. “Enough time for what?”
Gerard looked up. His eyes flashed, and his lips were curved into a tiny smirk.
“Enough time to lick every single tattoo on your body.”
David stared at him and shivered a little. He swallowed hard, then grinned.
“Better get started, then.”
This entry was originally posted to dreamwidth.org. Comment wherever you wish.
Pairing: Gerard/David Kennedy, Gerard/Lindsey (off-screen)
Rated: NC-17
Summary: David knows he shouldn't want what he can't have, but when it comes to Gerard he just can't forget.
Warnings: language, m/m sex
Notes: So much thanks to so many people out there. To nadialexandra and
koalopus for all the help and advice and, in the latter case, the speedy beta. To vamm_goda for an additional look-over, and title/summary help, as well as hand-holdingly wonderful reassurance that I did not, in fact, rip off her Angels & Airwaves epic (found here because EVERYONE should read it, it's so completely amazing).
This fic may be part of a series, or it may not be. I haven't decided yet. It was inspired by the Oh My God We Need Some Porn In Here Stat Porn Meme, and is a fill to my own prompt. Title from Paul Simon's 'Patterns.' Approx. 5,000 words.David didn’t think anything of being in Jersey the same time Gerard was. Gerard had a kid, now, had a real family he had to look out for. Things were different. Besides, they probably wouldn’t even see each other. So David resolved to just focus on Angels stuff and not worry about social calendars colliding.
Yeah, right.
Matt saw right through his bullshit. Matt always did. He saw the way David buried himself in work for the band and he knew exactly why he was doing it.
They’d bumped into each other for the first time in over two years when blink was getting ready for the Honda Civic Tour with My Chem. David tended to follow Tom around like a puppy even when Angels was on break. So he’d been there, and he’d seen the shock of red hair, and he’d known who it was. They’d had a brief conversation, made awkward by David’s uncertainty. Frank had maybe made fun of David a little, and Mikey had maybe rolled his eyes a lot, and Ray had maybe given David a sympathetic smile. Maybe. David wasn’t paying attention to them. He’d only been paying attention to the way Gerard seemed to glow when he brought up his baby girl, and David had known then: things were different.
But Gerard had still hugged him and David had still breathed in the smell of him when he did, and when they’d parted ways, David had wondered when the next time he saw him would be.
He hadn’t expected it to be so soon.
They were at Looney Tunes for the LOVE II album drop, and he didn’t really realize he’d been looking for the red hair until he didn’t see it. Gerard’s hair was black now, and he didn’t come forward, but hung in back, watching through the throngs of people. There was this tiny smile on his face. David only caught a glimpse of him, but it was enough to throw him off for the rest of the signing, enough to have his heart pounding and his palms sweating a little. He stammered more than usual, enough that Matt pressed his knee against his own under the table. Matt was sort of awesome. He’d had to shift around and turn to face David a little, because they were sitting far enough apart that he couldn’t just shift his leg over. It helped that they were both left-handed. Matt could still face him, could move enough to touch him without it looking conspicuous, and he could still sign, too.
David had a feeling he would’ve done it even if it meant he couldn’t still sign. Matt was just that kind of guy.
They had shit to do in New York after Looney Tunes, and David was intent on getting the hell outta Dodge, so to speak. But when he got back to his hotel room, he found his room wasn’t empty.
Gerard stood up from the little dinette table when David came into the room. He was fiddling with his hair, like he could just never leave the shit alone. David felt his eyes widen a little, felt his shoulders tense.
“Is it bad that I’m here?” Gerard asked.
He sounded timid, even a little scared, and God, David was just fucking overwhelmed with this urge to wrap him up tight, protect him, drive away whatever was making him sound like that. And then he realized, with a sort of jolt, that he was making Gerard sound like that.
David swallowed and forced his shoulders to relax as he shrugged out of first his leather jacket, then his plaid button-up. He pushed his hat off last, and combed his fingers through his hair to fluff it up a little. From the corner of his eye, he could see Gerard’s hand twitch, like he wanted to be the one to do it. David felt the sentiment echoed inside himself. He swallowed.
“No, Dude, it’s cool,” he said at last. He could hear Gerard’s sigh of relief from across the room. “How’d you even get in here?”
Gerard shrugged shyly, then pulled a keycard from his jacket pocket. “Chris gave me your spare key.”
Of course. David always gave his spare keycard to AVA’s tour manager, Chris Georggin, because he tended to lose either or both of his keycards if he wasn’t careful. And Chris knew about David and Gerard’s history; of course he would give Gerard a way into David’s room.
Gerard took a half-step closer, paused for just a moment, then walked up and pulled David into a hug, anyway, like he couldn’t not. And just like the last time they’d done this, David breathed him in. Somehow, Gerard always smelled the same: like hair dye, cigarettes, sweat, coffee, and something else that was just distinctly Gerard. Sometimes it was stronger than others, sometimes it wasn’t, but it was always there, and it always hit David in the stomach with how much he wanted.
David was a lot taller than Gerard; Gerard had to push up onto his toes to wrap his arms around David’s shoulders. David wrapped his arms around Gerard’s middle to help steady him.
“I missed you,” Gerard murmured into his neck. David closed his eyes against the feeling of Gerard’s lips brushing against his throat. He swallowed and sorta started leaning back-
And then Gerard was kissing him, deep and needy and with this almost desperate edge to it. David kissed back more out of memory than conscious decision. It was just the way it had always worked: when Gerard kissed him, he kissed back. Something settled inside him, something like coming home and something like yes. David could remember with crystal clarity the first time they’d done this. He could remember the second and the third, too. He could remember every moment, the way Gerard’s body felt against his, the way Gerard sounded, like only David existed in the world, like he only existed for David.
The first touch of Gerard’s wedding ring on David’s jaw reminded him, abruptly and almost painfully, that this wasn’t true anymore. He covered Gerard’s hands with his and pulled back from the kiss, straightening so Gerard couldn’t follow. Judging by the sound Gerard made, he’d tried. David didn’t know for sure, because he’d kept his eyes closed.
“Gee, no,” he gasped. He was still panting a bit from the kiss, and he swallowed. “We can’t do this anymore.” He lowered Gerard’s hands, thumb rubbing against the warmed gold on Gerard’s finger. “You can’t do this anymore.”
“David, I-”
“You should maybe leave,” David murmured. He stepped away, towards the bed, still avoiding Gerard’s face. If he saw Gerard’s face, it’d be over. He knew that much. Gerard’s entire body pleaded for what he wanted, to the point where it was nearly impossible to deny him. And the problem was David didn’t want to deny him.
It was more selfish than it sounded.
“David, wait,” Gerard said, like David was the one leaving the room. David heard him step closer, but he still jumped when Gerard’s arms slid around him from behind. “David, please.” Gerard’s breath was hot against his back through his last remaining shirt. “I need this. Please?”
David fell still when Gerard’s hand slid down, down, over his belt buckle and further, to his crotch. He closed his eyes, and felt more than heard Gerard’s indrawn breath.
“God, I missed this,” Gerard murmured. “Missed you. I just, I want-”
“Gerard, it’s different,” David hissed. He hadn’t pushed Gerard’s hand away, but he wasn’t hitching his hips towards it, either, despite the way Gerard rubbed the heel against his crotch, the way he framed David’s dick through the denim and cotton separating skin, despite the way he felt himself getting hard, the way his heartbeat kicked up, saying yespleaseyes.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Gerard breathed. “Please, David. She knows I need you, it’s okay.” His hand, his fucking hand, it didn’t stop. “David, please,” he repeated.
David wasn’t prone to lying to himself, but when the bead of sweat trickled down his spine and he turned to face Gerard, he told himself that it was to get the heat of Gerard’s mouth off his back, so it would stop sweating, and that it had nothing to do with wanting to kiss that perfect mouth of his. Even though that was what he did.
Gerard moaned up into David’s mouth. He cupped a hand at David’s nape, keeping him close, while the other worked on the belt buckle. He nipped David’s lip when he cursed while fumbling it, but David just nipped back. Gerard seemed to forget all about the belt buckle; instead, he focused all of his attention on David’s mouth, on his tongue, and held onto David’s face tightly as he did. God, David had missed this, missed the frantic energy inherent to Gerard, missed the way he put all of himself into a moment.
He gasped Gerard’s name and tore from the kiss, but only long enough to turn them both, to pin Gerard down on the bed. Gerard bit his lip and arched up towards him. David held himself up above Gerard’s body, touching only where his hands held Gerard’s wrists, where his knee pressed against Gerard’s thigh as it bore into the mattress.
“Please,” Gerard gasped. “Please, please, David, c’mon, I just-”
David couldn’t help a grin. “God, that hasn’t fucking changed at all,” he teased. He lifted his left hand from Gerard’s right wrist, and smoothed his hand down the length of Gerard’s torso. Gerard groaned and arched up towards it. “So fucking responsive, Gee. God, I missed this.”
“Yes, yeah, God, fuck, David,” he babbled. He lifted one leg to frame David’s hip and tried to grind up against him. David tightened his stomach muscles to hold his groin just out of reach. Gerard whined. “David, please.”
David’s grin turned a little crooked, and he lowered his head to kiss Gerard lightly. Gerard quickly turned it hot and deep, and David forgot all about any plans he might have. He lowered himself until they were pressed flush from shoulders to knees. Gerard’s dick was hard against David’s lower stomach. David shifted up until he had to curl his upper body down over Gerard’s to keep the kiss, but now their hips were lined up, and they could rut against each other like a couple teenagers. It felt fucking awesome.
It wasn’t like David had been celibate since he’d stopped seeing Gerard. He’d been with guys and girls alike since the awkward slow-to-stop end to their relationship back in 2006. It was just that it had always seemed best with Gerard, and now was no exception. David figured it was because Gerard felt everything so genuinely and with every part of him. That tended to help David let go in ways he usually didn’t. He didn’t have to hold back when he was with Gerard - more importantly, Gerard didn’t want him to hold back.
Fleetingly, David found himself wondering if Gerard was this needy, this into it, with Lindsey.
And then Gerard was fumbling with his belt buckle again while Gerard’s mouth busily sucked on David’s tongue. David moaned, all other thoughts forgotten, because, yeah. Gerard had a mouth like a fucking Hoover.
“God, fucking-” Gerard growled. David’s hips jumped towards his hands. “Why d’you gotta wear this fucking thing, D?”
“You’re one to complain,” David pointed out. “Fucking 2004, couldn’t get that damn bat off your belt to save my fucking life, Dude.”
Gerard maybe blushed a little. “You said it was sexy! And then you came on my face!”
David grinned and kissed him again. “No. I said you were sexy. And then I came on your face.”
“But I was wearing the belt buckle when you said it, so by association- mmph!”
David kissed him to shut him up. He knew if he didn’t cut Gerard off at the pass, they’d just bicker about it all fucking night. (Gerard didn’t seem to mind the interruption so much.)
Between the two of them, they managed to get David’s fucking belt open. Gerard wasted no time on following suit with David’s jeans, then he pushed them and his briefs down and wrapped his hand around David’s dick. David gasped at the first touch. He rolled his hips forward, into Gerard’s hand. Gerard’s eyes were dark, focused on David’s face, watching his reactions. It was fucking hot.
“Missed you,” Gerard breathed. His eyebrows went up a little in the middle, like it was David’s hand on Gerard’s dick and not the other way around. “God, David, fucking missed you.”
David’s belly swooped a little, and he nodded. He kissed him again, lightly, framing Gerard’s face with his hands and rubbing gently at his scalp with his fingertips. Gerard watched him, they watched each other, and David knew that they were both reminiscing about the same thing right at that moment. The what ifs and the maybes and the could-have-beens. Then David shook his head and leaned up a bit. He blindly sought out Gerard’s left hand and kissed the knuckle holding his ring. Gerard’s face got a little wistful - David thought that was the right word for it - and he brushed the backs of his fingers over David’s lips.
Then he hooked his hand over the back of David’s neck and hauled him down for a kiss David could only call fierce.
It was five years of separation, five years of pining and nostalgia and pent-up lust, five years of feeling, at least on David’s end, like something was missing, and it was all rolled into one kiss. Their teeth clashed and their noses knocked together. Gerard’s fingers bore bruises into David’s neck, like he thought maybe David was going to break away and end this too soon. Gerard made tiny noises in his throat that squeezed out on each breath he gasped out; David’s ears greedily took what sounds they could. A spark of pain flared in David’s lower lip where Gerard’s teeth latched on a little too hard, but then Gerard was sucking on the spot, easing the pain with lips and tongue, and David returned the favor on Gerard’s upper lip.
They broke apart to gasp harshly for air, but even outside of the kiss, the hotel room seemed hot and close. David eased Gerard’s hand away from his dick and he leaned up over Gerard’s body again. Gerard was still wearing that stupid army jacket - but not for long. It was a mercy that Gerard didn’t tend to zip up his jackets. David pushed it off over his shoulders. Gerard flailed a little as he worked his arms out of the sleeves, and when he sat up to let David pull it out from under him, he caught him in another kiss. David allowed it.
Then he pulled Gerard’s shirt up over his head and shoved him almost roughly back down onto his back. That was all the warning Gerard got before David’s mouth was on his skin. He just tasted at first, licking the sweat off Gerard’s sternum and out of the hollow of his throat, nipping along his clavicle and then down to his nipple. His hands smoothed up Gerard’s sides from hips to ribs. Gerard’s chest heaved under David’s mouth as he panted.
“Fuck, you got thin,” David breathed. Gerard’s flush traveled down to his chest, then faded a little.
“So’d you,” Gerard pointed out.
And, okay. They’d both started out pudgy, but David had started losing the weight after Box Car had ended. He and Gerard had already sort of stopped seeing each other by the time the weight had been completely gone, so Gerard hadn’t witnessed the final results firsthand, not until that hug. David hadn’t realized how much thinner Gerard was even then, because he always layered up those stupid jackets of his.
“Whatever,” he said a little shyly. “I just- I wasn’t, like, expecting it.”
Gerard nodded and combed his fingers into David’s hair. He didn’t guide David’s head or tug on his hair, just held on gently, like David might float away if he didn’t. David understood: he sort of felt like he might.
He lowered his mouth to Gerard’s skin again, sucked lightly on his nipple before moving down his stomach. He made a small sound at the taste of him, something so visceral that he hadn’t even realized he’d been missing until he had it again, and he nipped a bruise into the spot to remember it by. Gerard moaned above him. His fingers tightened in David’s hair and he writhed in place. David sighed into his skin. Fuck, he’d so, so fucking missed this.
He opened Gerard’s belt, then his jeans, and pressed a kiss to his skin through the cotton of his bright purple briefs. David smiled against them.
“Gotta admit, I missed these, too,” he murmured. Gerard didn’t say anything, but David could tell by the subtle way his panting changed that he was smiling. “Gee. Gerard, I just- Can I just-”
“Please, yeah, yeah,” Gerard said quickly. David laughed.
“Y’don’t even know what I’m gonna say.”
“Don’t care,” Gerard said. “Don’t fucking care, anything, David, you can have anything.”
David shuddered hard and nuzzled Gerard’s hip. “God, Gee.”
With that, he curled his fingers into Gerard’s open jeans and yanked them down. Gerard gasped when he slid down the bed a few inches. He shifted his hips to help David get the briefs off, then kicked his legs a bit to work them down his legs. David tugged Gerard’s sneakers off for him and removed the last of his clothes.
“You’re still wearing stuff,” Gerard pointed out. He sounded a little breathless. David grinned, then shoved his jeans down his legs and kicked off his sneakers, too.
Just a moment later, they were both totally naked, and Gerard stared at David’s body, drinking in the sight. David couldn’t even feel self-conscious about it, because he knew how he felt: he was doing the same thing to Gerard.
David leaned over him for another kiss, then shifted down Gerard’s body once more. This time, he pulled Gerard’s dick into his mouth. Gerard let out a low sigh, and David could feel the way Gerard’s thighs and stomach trembled from the effort of holding still. David appreciated it. Sucking dick wasn’t exactly his forte. It wasn’t so much that he was bad at it, or even that he didn’t like it. He just figured his mouth could be put to better use than sucking dick.
He also sort of preferred to have his own dick sucked.
But he’d missed the way Gerard tasted, missed how he felt against his tongue, and he’d missed the sounds Gerard made when he bobbed his head and sealed his hand with his mouth. He’d missed the sounds Gerard made when he worked him so close to orgasm, only to ease him back so he could find condoms and lube.
When he had them in his hand, he bit his lip. “Gee, are you sure it’s-”
“I’m sure, David, I’m positive, please.”
David nodded and murmured ‘okay, okay’ half to himself and half to Gerard as he shifted his knees on the bed. He set the condom aside and flicked open the cap on the lube. He had no idea how long it’d been since Gerard had last had sex with a guy. Hell, he had no idea if maybe Lindsey used toys on him, and it didn’t seem like the thing to ask. So, instead, David was just a little liberal with the lube, and maybe a little liberal with his fingers, working his way up to four.
Gerard writhed beneath him, legs spread wide to accommodate him, hands tangling in the sheets above his own head as if to ground himself. David was fucking captivated. Gerard’s eyes were closed, and his eyebrows were up in the middle again, like he didn’t know what to do with what he was feeling - with what David was making him feel. His mouth hung open to let the tiny sounds he was making slip out, and his skin was flushed and starting to shine with sweat. God, it was fucking beautiful.
David wasn’t entirely sure how he’d allowed himself to let this go.
He curled his fingers inside Gerard. Gerard cried out and his spine arched. David bit his lip and felt his dick twitch. God, Jesus, this was hot to watch.
“God, oh God, David,” Gerard gasped. “Fuck, I need, I need-” He trailed off in a low whine, body twisting as if he could direct where David’s fingers went.
“Gee, breathe,” David murmured. He slid his fingers out and wiped them on the sheets. Gerard groaned and shifted. David recognized that groan: it was the groan that said he felt empty, and he didn’t much like it. His dick was leaking precome all over his stomach. He looked ready to burst, in one way or another. David fumbled the condom open and rolled it on, then slicked it up with lube.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Gerard gasped. He spread his legs wider, even hooked one hand under one knee to pull it up out of the way. “David, please, please.”
“I got you,” David assured softly.
He knee-walked closer and lined his dick up, then pressed in. He braced one hand on the bed and leaned over Gerard. Gerard’s head tipped back, eyes squeezed shut. He clutched David’s arm tight enough to almost hurt. His throat worked as he swallowed hard, then he gasped out,
“Shit. Fucking forgot how- good you feel, oh God.”
David pressed his lips together, brow furrowing in concentration. He had to go slow, had to be careful; he didn’t want to hurt Gerard by moving too hard or fast before his body was used to this.
“Jesus, Gerard, how long’s it been?”
“You,” Gerard murmured. His voice was tight as he struggled to relax. He opened his eyes and met David’s, and David knew he was telling the truth. “Since you.”
David’s belly swooped again, and he stared down at him. “Fuck.”
“Please,” Gerard half-sobbed, and he clenched around David’s dick. David gasped and jerked into him.
“Fuck, you’re kidding,” he said.
Gerard shook his head, tossing his sweaty hair over his brow. He looked almost pained, and David bit his lip and thrust shallowly, so carefully, to help him get used to it again.
“Not kidding,” Gerard said breathlessly. “Fucking missed this, David, David, oh my god.”
“Gee,” David hissed. He lifted his hand from his dick and cupped Gerard’s face. “Fuck, Gerard, just breathe a minute, huh? Just, just breathe a minute.”
Gerard nodded, even as he leaned into David’s touch. It seemed to take forever, seemed to stretch on for hours, but finally David felt him relax around him, enough that he could slide almost all the way out and thrust back in slowly. Gerard made a sound that was almost squeezed out of him, long and high, as his back arched. It pushed his hips down onto David. David groaned, because it felt like he was being drawn in even deeper, if it were possible.
“God, you feel so fucking good,” Gerard gasped. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, David, so fucking good.”
David wanted to tell Gerard that he felt good, squeezing around his dick like that, holding him in, hot and tight around him. But words were failing him. He could only open his mouth and let out short, fast breaths as he drew his hips back and thrust in again.
Gerard let go of his own leg, and wrapped both around David’s waist. Together, they figured out a stuttering rhythm. It was slow at first, erratic, but as they both got used to it, it started to smooth out, draw out longer. Soon enough, Gerard was moaning steadily, clutching to David’s shoulders. David grunted softly with each thrust, then tried to muffle Gerard with his own mouth, catching his lips in a sharp kiss.
Gerard shifted his hips and tightened his legs. He gasped David’s name, and David remembered this. He reached down and slid one hand under him. He pressed his elbow into the mattress and smoothed his hand over Gerard’s sweaty lower back. It pinned his arm between Gerard and the bed, it lifted Gerard up a bit, and it didn’t change the angle much, but it was enough. With each thrust, David’s dick pressed against Gerard’s prostate, and Gerard cried out.
“Fuck- oh my god, don’t stop!”
David had no intention of stopping. He rolled his hips faster and buried his face into Gerard’s neck. If he watched his face, now of all times, he was going to come apart, he could feel it. Gerard’s fingers tightened on his shoulders.
“David- David, make me come, I need- I need- ‘M so close, D, please.”
“Fuck,” David breathed.
He moved his free hand off of Gerard’s thigh and wormed it between them. Gerard broke off into a litany of curses and cries when David wrapped his fingers around his dick and started pumping. David’s arm tightened beneath him to pull him close. He swept his thumb against the head on an upward stroke. Gerard’s voice tightened, and then so did his whole body as he came hard.
David had to stop moving for a moment as Gerard’s body clamped around him. He gasped, brow furrowing and body trembling. Then Gerard relaxed, and David let out a sigh of relief. He fucked into him, fast and hard, until he came, too, with a ragged cry. And David wasn’t one for clichés, but he sort of felt like he whited out for a minute or two, body zinging and almost tingling. He couldn’t fucking remember the last time he’d come so hard.
He sagged, but tried not to drop his weight too heavily on Gerard. Gerard’s hands cupped his face and lifted his head for a slow kiss. David made a sound into it.
“Gee,” he murmured.
Gerard just kissed him again, slow and deep and fucking loving.
Before too long, David gripped the base of the condom and pulled out. Gerard made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan at the feeling, then stretched languidly. David paused in tying off the condom to watch. God, the man was just beautiful, it wasn’t even fair. He didn’t even realize he’d been staring until Gerard looked at him and blushed and said,
“What?”
David smiled. “Nothing.”
He tossed the condom into the trash can, then grabbed the edge of the sheet to wipe them both off. Gerard had come all over his own belly, and it had smeared where David’s stomach had pressed against it after his own orgasm. He used the sheet to swipe at least most of it off, so it wouldn’t stick and flake on Gerard’s skin.
“So considerate,” Gerard teased when he did. David rolled his eyes, but grinned crookedly and settled down on the bed next to him.
Gerard rolled to face him, fingers tracing the skull tattoo on David’s left pec. He walked his fingers to the snake on his sternum, then up over the lettering and finally to his naked throat. David thought it looked like he was working on memorizing everything he saw and felt. He swallowed, then shifted forward and kissed him. When Gerard pushed, though, he leaned back, and the flash on confusion left his eyes quickly when Gerard guided him onto his back and straddled his thighs. Gerard’s eyes were serious when they looked down at him, when his hands smoothed over the ink, old and new, on David’s skin.
“Why did you tell me to leave?” he asked, voice low and soft.
David rested his hands on Gerard’s thighs, just touching.
“I just,” he tried, and stopped. He licked his lips, let out a little sigh, and tried again. “I thought things were different. You’ve got, y’know, your daughter. I thought . . .” He trailed off when Gerard’s eyes turned a little sad. David shook his head. “God, don’t look at me like that, Dude.”
“You thought we’d have to stop seeing each other because of Bandit?” Gerard murmured. David shrugged.
“I thought you’d have to start, like, start being fucking responsible to your family.” He sounded a little snippy, and he knew it, but Gerard wasn’t fazed. He just leaned down, elbows on David’s chest, and kissed him.
“You’re so fucking noble, David Kennedy.” He sighed and kissed him again. “I’m always gonna love you, y’know? I’m always gonna want you.”
David felt his face heat, and he slid his eyes away from Gerard’s intense gaze.
“Yeah, but-”
“But nothing. Stop trying to over-think shit, okay?”
“But-”
Gerard kissed him firmly. “Shh. Seriously. Just. You don’t need to analyze this, David. It is what it is, okay? It’s here. I’m here.” And then Gerard got self-conscious, looking down at David’s swallows and tracing the naval star on his collarbone. “If . . . If you want me.”
David looked at him again. He combed his fingers into Gerard’s hair and scritched lightly at his scalp. Gerard’s eyes drifted closed and he leaned into it, like a cat looking for affection. When he’d relaxed just enough, David leaned up and kissed him.
“Course I fucking want you, idiot,” he murmured. “I never stopped.”
Gerard’s face lit up in that way that David loved, the way that made him fucking glow, like nothing else in the world could make him happier than what was right before him. It was the look David had thought he’d never see directed at him again. It made his heart pound and he wrapped his arms around Gerard tightly. He kissed Gerard’s jaw, then his mouth. Gerard made a small sound and met the kiss, and this time he kept it nice and easy, light, but promising, too.
Gerard rested his cheek on David’s chest and sighed softly.
“What time are they expecting you back?” David asked. He felt Gerard shrug, and rubbed his back.
“In time to put B to bed,” he said. “I figured that’d give me enough time.”
David blinked. “Enough time for what?”
Gerard looked up. His eyes flashed, and his lips were curved into a tiny smirk.
“Enough time to lick every single tattoo on your body.”
David stared at him and shivered a little. He swallowed hard, then grinned.
“Better get started, then.”
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