Back to Black
long time - no see.
first i want to say sorry for anyone i displaced (dom't now the regular word for 'versetzen').
it's not that i did'nt wanted to see u guys, but i feel so sluggish again, i'ts really horrible...
and i promisse i will change, because above all i'm also disappointed about myself.
so me friends, i hope u'll not forget i love u and, oh wonder-oh wonder, i can't live without u, so be certain i'll contact u!
(u-u-u me sounds like rihanna... XD)
(and jana, first of all i really need to do stuff with u, because everytime we met i felt so glad but u know, i'm TEH STUPID.)
well... some other stuff... if i'll find something to write about. haha.
as some of u recognized i'm still in berlin and i'm very happy about that fact, but it seems like that's not enough to get cut from my funny depression.
the first days i spend in berlin i felt like !WOHHH! and i'm still, but not that much...
again i want to stay the hole time in my room, don't want to see anyone (i know, that sounds a lil'bit paradoxal, but well..) and i have no energy, really, there's absolutly nothing i could say about *that's* what i would call *my energy*.
i know, someone of u will think "oh, not that shit again, please" but that's how i feel. and believe me, i'm not happy with that! ( ;) )
i thought, may i should make a teraphy again, okay, not 'may', i do need to make one, but i'm so afraid... i don't want to know what's wrong with me... yeah, again, i do want, but i think u got my point...
(sorry for my emoing)
more and more i don't like myself, it's like: if i know myself, i would not like me. (can i say it in this way?) i hate my thoughts, i hate what i do or not do, i just can't stand to be the person i am any longer.
and what hurts me the most... the last time i cried was once in august. i can't cry anymore and that feels like fucking bullshit.
talking and writing about my feelings... that's also something i unlearned, even if this entry not seems like this, but...
okay, enough emo-filth-i hate myself and the world is such a bad place- stuff! ;)
something else?
oh, of course, i'm so thankful that jana gave me as one of my christmas presents the album from *amy winehous*, i love her!
she is a fucking great singer and her voice makes me feel like love..XD
no,
first i want to say sorry for anyone i displaced (dom't now the regular word for 'versetzen').
it's not that i did'nt wanted to see u guys, but i feel so sluggish again, i'ts really horrible...
and i promisse i will change, because above all i'm also disappointed about myself.
so me friends, i hope u'll not forget i love u and, oh wonder-oh wonder, i can't live without u, so be certain i'll contact u!
(u-u-u me sounds like rihanna... XD)
(and jana, first of all i really need to do stuff with u, because everytime we met i felt so glad but u know, i'm TEH STUPID.)
well... some other stuff... if i'll find something to write about. haha.
as some of u recognized i'm still in berlin and i'm very happy about that fact, but it seems like that's not enough to get cut from my funny depression.
the first days i spend in berlin i felt like !WOHHH! and i'm still, but not that much...
again i want to stay the hole time in my room, don't want to see anyone (i know, that sounds a lil'bit paradoxal, but well..) and i have no energy, really, there's absolutly nothing i could say about *that's* what i would call *my energy*.
i know, someone of u will think "oh, not that shit again, please" but that's how i feel. and believe me, i'm not happy with that! ( ;) )
i thought, may i should make a teraphy again, okay, not 'may', i do need to make one, but i'm so afraid... i don't want to know what's wrong with me... yeah, again, i do want, but i think u got my point...
(sorry for my emoing)
more and more i don't like myself, it's like: if i know myself, i would not like me. (can i say it in this way?) i hate my thoughts, i hate what i do or not do, i just can't stand to be the person i am any longer.
and what hurts me the most... the last time i cried was once in august. i can't cry anymore and that feels like fucking bullshit.
talking and writing about my feelings... that's also something i unlearned, even if this entry not seems like this, but...
okay, enough emo-filth-i hate myself and the world is such a bad place- stuff! ;)
something else?
oh, of course, i'm so thankful that jana gave me as one of my christmas presents the album from *amy winehous*, i love her!
she is a fucking great singer and her voice makes me feel like love..XD
no,