(no subject)
So William and I are dating now. It's absurd. He makes me really silly romantic love CDs and our first kiss was after a bottle of nice red wine (I think? It might've been the cheap white I always made him drink) and he brings me chocolates and flowers and we lay in bed all morning kissing and being unproductive. I was kind of worried that once we stopped making out all the time we'd realize that we have nothing in common, but so far so good.
Every rational fiber of my being is screaming that getting into a relationship is a terrible idea. Especially one that is as serious as this is getting. I'm in college, I should just kiss whoever I want! Which I wouldn't really do anyway, I would just feel slutty. Though I don;t really want the ambiguity with Adam to end. But I really am a 'relationship' kind of girl, I like being able to call and talk about nothing while I'm driving home and holding hands and winning over families and talking about how your childhood fucked you up. That doesn't really happen with flings. The bad thing is that I a) don't want to hurt Harrison but really more is that b) I still want to kiss Adam. Adam really is an idiot, but I don't think he can help it. He's sweet and sensitive but at the same time so oblivious and inconsiderate. And not only do I not know whether or not he's hooking up with other girls in Chapel Hill this summer, but I think he probably is. But the question mark was fun, the secretiveness and the late nights just ha his room were fun. Honestly, I don't really care if he's hooking up with other girls, because I'm hooking up with other, well, boy, and I just want to be able to hang out with him the same way I did at the end of last year.
John and I are on much better terms now. As of, like, yesterady. I still kind of hate me, but hey, I always kind of hated John, even when we were dating. We had lunch just the two of us then he came to the symphony with a bunch of us. It's hard not to touch him and flirt with him, it just feels so much more natural to hold his hand and flirt with him. He's home now for the rest of summer because he was in summer school and William left yesterday for England for the rest of summer (he pointed out the irony that my ex-boyfriend came into town the night before he left the country for the rest of summer). I don't know, I do want to hang out with John. But I really have no desire to make things complicated again.
This summer I'm working at a law firm, basically in the mail room. I FedEx and fax and copy and scan and mail and sort and make coffee and staple and get dressed up. It kind of sucks (esp since I'm working 40 hrs/week + another job at a gallery in NoDa) but I get paid $10 hr and I don't want to work during the school year or next summer and I get to do this and read Wuthering Heights.
Every rational fiber of my being is screaming that getting into a relationship is a terrible idea. Especially one that is as serious as this is getting. I'm in college, I should just kiss whoever I want! Which I wouldn't really do anyway, I would just feel slutty. Though I don;t really want the ambiguity with Adam to end. But I really am a 'relationship' kind of girl, I like being able to call and talk about nothing while I'm driving home and holding hands and winning over families and talking about how your childhood fucked you up. That doesn't really happen with flings. The bad thing is that I a) don't want to hurt Harrison but really more is that b) I still want to kiss Adam. Adam really is an idiot, but I don't think he can help it. He's sweet and sensitive but at the same time so oblivious and inconsiderate. And not only do I not know whether or not he's hooking up with other girls in Chapel Hill this summer, but I think he probably is. But the question mark was fun, the secretiveness and the late nights just ha his room were fun. Honestly, I don't really care if he's hooking up with other girls, because I'm hooking up with other, well, boy, and I just want to be able to hang out with him the same way I did at the end of last year.
John and I are on much better terms now. As of, like, yesterady. I still kind of hate me, but hey, I always kind of hated John, even when we were dating. We had lunch just the two of us then he came to the symphony with a bunch of us. It's hard not to touch him and flirt with him, it just feels so much more natural to hold his hand and flirt with him. He's home now for the rest of summer because he was in summer school and William left yesterday for England for the rest of summer (he pointed out the irony that my ex-boyfriend came into town the night before he left the country for the rest of summer). I don't know, I do want to hang out with John. But I really have no desire to make things complicated again.
This summer I'm working at a law firm, basically in the mail room. I FedEx and fax and copy and scan and mail and sort and make coffee and staple and get dressed up. It kind of sucks (esp since I'm working 40 hrs/week + another job at a gallery in NoDa) but I get paid $10 hr and I don't want to work during the school year or next summer and I get to do this and read Wuthering Heights.