Writing: Dialogue
So a day and a half after I started to feel better following an allergic reaction to a not-so-mystery ingredient, I caught a cold. Trying to write when my brain is in a fog isn't working, but writing about writing seems to be all right, so that's what I did today.
I promised a post about dialogue, and here's a post about dialogue!
I'm going to start this off by stating the obvious.
Dialogue is all about people talking. And when people talk, they are having a conversation, they are sharing information, they are being mocking, derisive, scathing. Or they are praising, applauding, encouraging. Whatever people are doing when they open their mouths --
Um.
Well, anyway, my brain just did a detour down the sewer and it took me a minute to fish it out. It might be a little smelly, and please forgive the drips.
If you watch TV -- the news, the movies, a TV show -- or see the latest blockbuster at the theatres, or go to a play, or, even better, listen to the radio, you'll realize one very important thing. That very important thing is:
People don't really talk like that.
Newscasters read from a teleprompter, and they practice to read the teleprompter without pause for a smooth delivery. Actors have a script to follow -- some particularly gifted actors can use the scripts as a guide and ad-lib so well that it flows far more smoothly than it was originally written, but they still have scripts to follow -- and they have the advantage of having a director call CUT! and ask for the scene to be re-set. The most amazing actors are the ones who strut their stuff upon a stage (to borrow the Shakespearean phrase) and nail their lines day in and day out without prompters or the advantage of a director to sigh in the background and whirl their hand in the air to get the shot re-done.
What about the radio? Well, it's largely scripted, too. Talk shows are different, of course. But just like newscasters, announcers on the radio are trained to talk without leaving any dead air while still keeping listeners' interest and not pissing off the sponsors.
Real life is different.
Like I expound in every one of my writing posts, everyone writes differently. Guess what. They also talk differently. It's called style. It's called voice.
Some people are gifted writers. Some people have to work at it. Guess what. It's the same way for speakers. There's some gifted talkers out there, but others need practice and more practice.
Just like writing, people have their own approach when it comes to talking:
There's a girl I know who will not say anything until she's absolutely certain that what she says will not hurt the person she's talking to, or the person she's talking about. It makes her seem kind of slow.
There's the know-it-all who doesn't really know anything at all, but feels the need to put in their two-cents, even if it has nothing to do with the conversation. Particularly if it has nothing to do with the conversation -- I have a WTF moment when they talk, sometimes.
There's the guy who, if I catch him off guard, will stumble and stammer through an answer that doesn't answer my question, but also leaves him trying to find a hasty exit because he knows I will not believe his bullshit.
I've had a conversation with a girl that could be summed up like this:
Me: Hello!
Her: [frightened squeak before running off]
Me: Um. What did I say?
There's the girl who always starts a conversation with a question, but doesn't wait for other people to answer and answers it herself (even if she's just making it up).
There's the guy who talks to himself. Yeah. I don't want to touch that one.
There's the guy who will begin with, "This is probably a stupid question", ask the question, then cut himself off with "Yeah, that's a stupid question, never mind, I'm sorry I asked" before you can get a word in edgewise.
There's the guy who, no matter how pissed off he is at someone else, will give himself an ulcer because he would rather be diplomatic and polite even while he's being ridiculed for being diplomatic and polite.
There's the asshole who can't ever shut up when someone uses the wrong word in a conversation, even though everyone else knew what they meant in the first place. I call him the "What you really meant to say was..." guy.
There's the girl who compounds her sentences with "you know what I mean?" and drives me up the wall.
There's the girl who loves using crutch words all the time. If I never hear the phrase "that's lovely" (and bear in mind that I'm not British nor do I live in the UK, so this phrase is NOT common around here), it will be too soon.
And along those lines, you know that guy you used to know who would stick his tongue out in a wailing "wasssuuuuuuuup"? You know how you don't see him around anymore? You're welcome.
There's also the guy who is thinking as he talks, and every other word is interrupted with "Um", or "Ah" or "Er." Those little pauses are so common in everyone's conversations that we don't really notice them until we pay attention, but this guy, wow, he takes it to a whole different level.
Then there's people like me.
Me, I'm a tiny bit of a ham. I like to talk. I talk a lot. I'm fearless when it comes to talking. I will go up to a complete stranger and start a conversation (that's how I met my spouse). I will throw a couple of slides together and give a talk in front of a room of thirty or more people without practicing (or knowing what my topic really is about). But I can be shy around people. I can hesitate when I'm not sure where I'm going with the conversation. I have been known to shriek exactly once in my life when I had a nightmare client and he kept coming back. I have been reduced to a sputter when I wanted to counter someone's declaration with about ten different contradicting arguments that wanted to be said all at the same time.
Just like writing, it doesn't matter how it's said or who says it. Listening to someone talk is downright entertaining. You learn things about people, because how they approach a conversation, how they talk, how they think -- it's all down to their personalities.
When you write dialogue, you are writing the character's script. Don't try to imitate how people speak in real life. Try to write the character's dialogue to match their personalities and as if they have the luxury of running their lines over and over until they have it down pat.
When I write, in essence, I want the reader to see see the character's personality in the way they talk as much as in what they do and how they do them.
Arthur, for example, is an unique individual. He's got the authority of command and the confidence to carry it through. He's very much a leader, the alpha male in the group, the person that people look to for guidance. It doesn't matter if he's a military Captain:
"Gwaine! Leon!" Arthur chopped a hand in the air, pointing east. "Cut off their escape routes!"
Or the leader of a street gang:
"Godfuckingdamnit! Cut them off, boys!" Arthur spat out, pointing his gun down the alley.
Or a cutthroat businessman:
"Unbelievable. Do they really think their attempt to take us over will succeed? I don't think so," Arthur said, collecting his papers. "Lance, I want you to call the prosecutor's office in the morning and anonymously leak the insider trading information that we have on them. That should take care of the problem.
Those aspects of Arthur's personality will always come out in the way that he talks.
In Loaded March, Arthur is a posh sort with polished speech and manners. He is well educated and he was raised right. His only downside is that some of his best friends are a bit rough, and sometimes that means that his speech will falter sometimes, particularly when he's pushed too hard.
As an example, I've been caught using the verb tense "were" instead of "was" in dialogue for several characters. I do this on purpose and I try to be consistent on who does what. Arthur is one of the rare few who wouldnot use "were" in dialogue, but there was one instance when Arthur did:
"It weren't me," Merlin had said.
If it hadn't been for Merlin, Arthur didn't know what they would have done. Three sorcerers. Three. And none of them using any magic that the Directory sorcerers had demonstrated.
"Merlin," Arthur whispered, brushing his fingers through Merlin's hair again. "It were you."
From Groundwork
If Arthur is posh and precise, he would have said "It was you." But he didn't. This wasn't a mistake on my part, and it definitely wasn't an out of character slip either. In this scene, I had hoped to express one part of Arthur's personality -- Arthur soft and a bit broken and shattered, because Merlin's anguish, his insistence that he wasn't the hero, affected him very strongly.
On the flipside, there's Merlin. He's a bit insecure, but when he's confident about something, he is confident and strong. He isn't a leader, but he will become one if he needs to. He's stubborn and independent, trustworthy and loyal, and he cares about people. There's an innocence to him no matter how much he's seen or done. It doesn't matter if he's a Lieutenant in the army:
"Um. No, sir. I'm pretty sure your calculations are wrong. Here, let me show you how to do it properly. There's a bit of a trick to it," Merlin said, taking the pen out of the General's hand. He didn't notice the way the chatter went from bomb-blast decibel range to a cricket chirp.
Or a student in school:
"What? Yes, that makes sense. But, no, that's wrong. I'm sure it's wrong. I don't know how it's wrong yet, I didn't finish this problem set last night. Look, give me a minute, and --" Merlin trailed off as he glanced past Freya and saw Bryn lurking around. He cleared his throat. "I think I have to start running now. How about I email you the answer?"
Or when he's arguing with Will:
"Bloody fucking hell, Will!" Merlin took a step out of the flat and double-checked the door handle while simultaneously covering his eyes with his free hand. "Where's the fucking sock! You were supposed to give me some warning so that I don't have to see your white pimple-covered arse ever again. Where's the bloody sock on the door, you plonker?"
In the end, you can always see Merlin behind the dialogue. It doesn't matter that he went to Cambridge and that upper level education will beat the crude out of his speech patterns -- I know someone who went to Oxford and I have seen him turn into something decidedly not-Oxford when he's pissed off about something. Merlin's proud about his education, and normally he would put more effort to sound polished, but since he's largely playing an undercover role, he is drawing heavily on his roots and letting the rough of everyone else in the team rub off on him.
There are a lot of things to consider when you do character creation -- what they're like, how they grew up, what kind of situations they would've fallen into as they grew up. Owain, for example, grew up around police officers. Given half the chance, he would probably fall into the same sort of speech patterns of slang and codes and dark humour. Perceval, on the other hand, had a nice, quiet family, and he's the think-first-talk-second sort with a calm, thoughtful countenance. Kay is -- well, you've seen him. He's had a rough go of it in life, the roughest of any of them all, and he fights every day to put his past behind.
All the things that you come up with in character creation -- their experiences, their background, their psychology -- those things have to come into consideration (either consciously or unconsciously) in the dialogue. What would the characters say? Would they really say that? What would they most take offence to? What kind of insults would they use? It's this kind of forethought that helps makes good dialogue --
For example, Arthur would never go into a combat situation and say, "Oh, hell, just. You know, you two, go over there. And, I dunno. Shoot them or something? Whatever it is that you do."
Gwaine would never look at someone pretty and say, "She looks delightful in that pink dress. I hope her boyfriend told her that she looks good today." (He would rather say, "I'm going over there to tell that lass that she looks beautiful, but that she'd look gorgeous once her dress is on the floor of my bedroom.")
Kay would never say, "Gee, did I hurt you? I'm really sorry about that."
Wait.
He would say that, only, he'd be totally sarcastic.
If how someone talks and reacts depends on their personality, their education, their upbringing and their environment, then all these things would also impact how they react to any given situation or conversation. Lance would be the self-sacrificing sweetheart of the group, Leon would be stalwart and serious, Bohrs would be arrogant and a little bit prejudiced. Gwaine talks first, thinks later, but Merlin would be prone to calculating the odds out loud in a bit of a professor's drone, while Arthur would just look at them all indulgingly before shaking his head before bashing their heads together:
"I'll take care of the bomb," Lance said.
"When was the last time you dealt with a bomb? I'll take care of this," Bohrs said.
"No, you won't," Leon said.
"Why not?"
"I think we want to survive the situation," Leon said.
"You know, if I get the angle right, I could probably shoot the trigger out of the bastard's hand," Gwaine said.
"Not even in an alternate universe where the laws of physics were completely tipped onto their head would that be possible," Merlin said. "The geometry's completely wrong, you need rubber bullets to bounce off that wall, a bit of anti-gravity to twist it around the end --"
"You're talking about a magic bullet," Gwaine said. "Not a problem for you, innit?"
Merlin sputtered. "You want me to do that here?"
"Meanwhile, the plonker is still holding onto the trigger and we're sitting on a bomb, so how about you two deal with him, and you two watch my back while I disarm the bomb?" Arthur sighed heavily, pulling off his gloves.
I really don't have a trick for how I write dialogue. I try to write the way they would talk, to capture their tone, their demeanour, even their attitudes -- whether they're being brash with an overdeveloped sense of bravado when they're really quailing in fear inside, or if they're being gentle and tender despite their tough exteriors.
I let my characters have conversations in my head and I try to write them down the way they sound. Sometimes I'm in the wrong mindset for a specific character and it's tough to write for them, so I just do the best I can, and, hey, if the perfect comeback comes to me three days later (like it does in real life sometimes), at least with LM, I can always go back to write it in.
How do you write dialogue? What tricks and tips work for you?
I promised a post about dialogue, and here's a post about dialogue!
I'm going to start this off by stating the obvious.
Dialogue is all about people talking. And when people talk, they are having a conversation, they are sharing information, they are being mocking, derisive, scathing. Or they are praising, applauding, encouraging. Whatever people are doing when they open their mouths --
Um.
Well, anyway, my brain just did a detour down the sewer and it took me a minute to fish it out. It might be a little smelly, and please forgive the drips.
If you watch TV -- the news, the movies, a TV show -- or see the latest blockbuster at the theatres, or go to a play, or, even better, listen to the radio, you'll realize one very important thing. That very important thing is:
People don't really talk like that.
Newscasters read from a teleprompter, and they practice to read the teleprompter without pause for a smooth delivery. Actors have a script to follow -- some particularly gifted actors can use the scripts as a guide and ad-lib so well that it flows far more smoothly than it was originally written, but they still have scripts to follow -- and they have the advantage of having a director call CUT! and ask for the scene to be re-set. The most amazing actors are the ones who strut their stuff upon a stage (to borrow the Shakespearean phrase) and nail their lines day in and day out without prompters or the advantage of a director to sigh in the background and whirl their hand in the air to get the shot re-done.
What about the radio? Well, it's largely scripted, too. Talk shows are different, of course. But just like newscasters, announcers on the radio are trained to talk without leaving any dead air while still keeping listeners' interest and not pissing off the sponsors.
Real life is different.
Like I expound in every one of my writing posts, everyone writes differently. Guess what. They also talk differently. It's called style. It's called voice.
Some people are gifted writers. Some people have to work at it. Guess what. It's the same way for speakers. There's some gifted talkers out there, but others need practice and more practice.
Just like writing, people have their own approach when it comes to talking:
There's a girl I know who will not say anything until she's absolutely certain that what she says will not hurt the person she's talking to, or the person she's talking about. It makes her seem kind of slow.
There's the know-it-all who doesn't really know anything at all, but feels the need to put in their two-cents, even if it has nothing to do with the conversation. Particularly if it has nothing to do with the conversation -- I have a WTF moment when they talk, sometimes.
There's the guy who, if I catch him off guard, will stumble and stammer through an answer that doesn't answer my question, but also leaves him trying to find a hasty exit because he knows I will not believe his bullshit.
I've had a conversation with a girl that could be summed up like this:
Me: Hello!
Her: [frightened squeak before running off]
Me: Um. What did I say?
There's the girl who always starts a conversation with a question, but doesn't wait for other people to answer and answers it herself (even if she's just making it up).
There's the guy who talks to himself. Yeah. I don't want to touch that one.
There's the guy who will begin with, "This is probably a stupid question", ask the question, then cut himself off with "Yeah, that's a stupid question, never mind, I'm sorry I asked" before you can get a word in edgewise.
There's the guy who, no matter how pissed off he is at someone else, will give himself an ulcer because he would rather be diplomatic and polite even while he's being ridiculed for being diplomatic and polite.
There's the asshole who can't ever shut up when someone uses the wrong word in a conversation, even though everyone else knew what they meant in the first place. I call him the "What you really meant to say was..." guy.
There's the girl who compounds her sentences with "you know what I mean?" and drives me up the wall.
There's the girl who loves using crutch words all the time. If I never hear the phrase "that's lovely" (and bear in mind that I'm not British nor do I live in the UK, so this phrase is NOT common around here), it will be too soon.
And along those lines, you know that guy you used to know who would stick his tongue out in a wailing "wasssuuuuuuuup"? You know how you don't see him around anymore? You're welcome.
There's also the guy who is thinking as he talks, and every other word is interrupted with "Um", or "Ah" or "Er." Those little pauses are so common in everyone's conversations that we don't really notice them until we pay attention, but this guy, wow, he takes it to a whole different level.
Then there's people like me.
Me, I'm a tiny bit of a ham. I like to talk. I talk a lot. I'm fearless when it comes to talking. I will go up to a complete stranger and start a conversation (that's how I met my spouse). I will throw a couple of slides together and give a talk in front of a room of thirty or more people without practicing (or knowing what my topic really is about). But I can be shy around people. I can hesitate when I'm not sure where I'm going with the conversation. I have been known to shriek exactly once in my life when I had a nightmare client and he kept coming back. I have been reduced to a sputter when I wanted to counter someone's declaration with about ten different contradicting arguments that wanted to be said all at the same time.
Just like writing, it doesn't matter how it's said or who says it. Listening to someone talk is downright entertaining. You learn things about people, because how they approach a conversation, how they talk, how they think -- it's all down to their personalities.
When you write dialogue, you are writing the character's script. Don't try to imitate how people speak in real life. Try to write the character's dialogue to match their personalities and as if they have the luxury of running their lines over and over until they have it down pat.
When I write, in essence, I want the reader to see see the character's personality in the way they talk as much as in what they do and how they do them.
Arthur, for example, is an unique individual. He's got the authority of command and the confidence to carry it through. He's very much a leader, the alpha male in the group, the person that people look to for guidance. It doesn't matter if he's a military Captain:
"Gwaine! Leon!" Arthur chopped a hand in the air, pointing east. "Cut off their escape routes!"
Or the leader of a street gang:
"Godfuckingdamnit! Cut them off, boys!" Arthur spat out, pointing his gun down the alley.
Or a cutthroat businessman:
"Unbelievable. Do they really think their attempt to take us over will succeed? I don't think so," Arthur said, collecting his papers. "Lance, I want you to call the prosecutor's office in the morning and anonymously leak the insider trading information that we have on them. That should take care of the problem.
Those aspects of Arthur's personality will always come out in the way that he talks.
In Loaded March, Arthur is a posh sort with polished speech and manners. He is well educated and he was raised right. His only downside is that some of his best friends are a bit rough, and sometimes that means that his speech will falter sometimes, particularly when he's pushed too hard.
As an example, I've been caught using the verb tense "were" instead of "was" in dialogue for several characters. I do this on purpose and I try to be consistent on who does what. Arthur is one of the rare few who wouldnot use "were" in dialogue, but there was one instance when Arthur did:
"It weren't me," Merlin had said.
If it hadn't been for Merlin, Arthur didn't know what they would have done. Three sorcerers. Three. And none of them using any magic that the Directory sorcerers had demonstrated.
"Merlin," Arthur whispered, brushing his fingers through Merlin's hair again. "It were you."
From Groundwork
If Arthur is posh and precise, he would have said "It was you." But he didn't. This wasn't a mistake on my part, and it definitely wasn't an out of character slip either. In this scene, I had hoped to express one part of Arthur's personality -- Arthur soft and a bit broken and shattered, because Merlin's anguish, his insistence that he wasn't the hero, affected him very strongly.
On the flipside, there's Merlin. He's a bit insecure, but when he's confident about something, he is confident and strong. He isn't a leader, but he will become one if he needs to. He's stubborn and independent, trustworthy and loyal, and he cares about people. There's an innocence to him no matter how much he's seen or done. It doesn't matter if he's a Lieutenant in the army:
"Um. No, sir. I'm pretty sure your calculations are wrong. Here, let me show you how to do it properly. There's a bit of a trick to it," Merlin said, taking the pen out of the General's hand. He didn't notice the way the chatter went from bomb-blast decibel range to a cricket chirp.
Or a student in school:
"What? Yes, that makes sense. But, no, that's wrong. I'm sure it's wrong. I don't know how it's wrong yet, I didn't finish this problem set last night. Look, give me a minute, and --" Merlin trailed off as he glanced past Freya and saw Bryn lurking around. He cleared his throat. "I think I have to start running now. How about I email you the answer?"
Or when he's arguing with Will:
"Bloody fucking hell, Will!" Merlin took a step out of the flat and double-checked the door handle while simultaneously covering his eyes with his free hand. "Where's the fucking sock! You were supposed to give me some warning so that I don't have to see your white pimple-covered arse ever again. Where's the bloody sock on the door, you plonker?"
In the end, you can always see Merlin behind the dialogue. It doesn't matter that he went to Cambridge and that upper level education will beat the crude out of his speech patterns -- I know someone who went to Oxford and I have seen him turn into something decidedly not-Oxford when he's pissed off about something. Merlin's proud about his education, and normally he would put more effort to sound polished, but since he's largely playing an undercover role, he is drawing heavily on his roots and letting the rough of everyone else in the team rub off on him.
There are a lot of things to consider when you do character creation -- what they're like, how they grew up, what kind of situations they would've fallen into as they grew up. Owain, for example, grew up around police officers. Given half the chance, he would probably fall into the same sort of speech patterns of slang and codes and dark humour. Perceval, on the other hand, had a nice, quiet family, and he's the think-first-talk-second sort with a calm, thoughtful countenance. Kay is -- well, you've seen him. He's had a rough go of it in life, the roughest of any of them all, and he fights every day to put his past behind.
All the things that you come up with in character creation -- their experiences, their background, their psychology -- those things have to come into consideration (either consciously or unconsciously) in the dialogue. What would the characters say? Would they really say that? What would they most take offence to? What kind of insults would they use? It's this kind of forethought that helps makes good dialogue --
For example, Arthur would never go into a combat situation and say, "Oh, hell, just. You know, you two, go over there. And, I dunno. Shoot them or something? Whatever it is that you do."
Gwaine would never look at someone pretty and say, "She looks delightful in that pink dress. I hope her boyfriend told her that she looks good today." (He would rather say, "I'm going over there to tell that lass that she looks beautiful, but that she'd look gorgeous once her dress is on the floor of my bedroom.")
Kay would never say, "Gee, did I hurt you? I'm really sorry about that."
Wait.
He would say that, only, he'd be totally sarcastic.
If how someone talks and reacts depends on their personality, their education, their upbringing and their environment, then all these things would also impact how they react to any given situation or conversation. Lance would be the self-sacrificing sweetheart of the group, Leon would be stalwart and serious, Bohrs would be arrogant and a little bit prejudiced. Gwaine talks first, thinks later, but Merlin would be prone to calculating the odds out loud in a bit of a professor's drone, while Arthur would just look at them all indulgingly before shaking his head before bashing their heads together:
"I'll take care of the bomb," Lance said.
"When was the last time you dealt with a bomb? I'll take care of this," Bohrs said.
"No, you won't," Leon said.
"Why not?"
"I think we want to survive the situation," Leon said.
"You know, if I get the angle right, I could probably shoot the trigger out of the bastard's hand," Gwaine said.
"Not even in an alternate universe where the laws of physics were completely tipped onto their head would that be possible," Merlin said. "The geometry's completely wrong, you need rubber bullets to bounce off that wall, a bit of anti-gravity to twist it around the end --"
"You're talking about a magic bullet," Gwaine said. "Not a problem for you, innit?"
Merlin sputtered. "You want me to do that here?"
"Meanwhile, the plonker is still holding onto the trigger and we're sitting on a bomb, so how about you two deal with him, and you two watch my back while I disarm the bomb?" Arthur sighed heavily, pulling off his gloves.
I really don't have a trick for how I write dialogue. I try to write the way they would talk, to capture their tone, their demeanour, even their attitudes -- whether they're being brash with an overdeveloped sense of bravado when they're really quailing in fear inside, or if they're being gentle and tender despite their tough exteriors.
I let my characters have conversations in my head and I try to write them down the way they sound. Sometimes I'm in the wrong mindset for a specific character and it's tough to write for them, so I just do the best I can, and, hey, if the perfect comeback comes to me three days later (like it does in real life sometimes), at least with LM, I can always go back to write it in.
How do you write dialogue? What tricks and tips work for you?