[Conversations] Fights, audits, and fungus
Sorry, sorry. I've disappeared off the face of the earth. I'll claw my way back and make a real post later, but for now, here, have three conversations:
ONE
I go to a massage therapist who specializes in sport injuries and kinesiology -- his massages aren't relaxing, but I do manage to sleep the entire night through instead of waking up and finding a new comfortable way to stretch out. It's an effect that lasts for weeks until I screw myself up again, somehow. Anyway, I had an appointment with him on Tuesday, whereupon I woke up the next morning sore as fuck, but somehow managed to roll out of bed and to go to the gym. Handily, he happens to go to my gym, too, and at about the same time.
He was using equipment when I walked by, and I said hi -- he stopped in the middle of his set to ask:
Him: How are you feeling?
Me: Like I lost a fight.
He laughed so hard he couldn't finish his set. I think that's a satisfying revenge (however small) for feeling as if I've been flattened to a pancake.
TWO
If it's news to you, I work in a lab doing Awesomely Cool Stuff on a regular basis. The downside of the Awesomely Cool Stuff (besides facepalm-worthy coworkers) is that I have all of my processes audited to make sure I am doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. Sometimes it's by an external auditor, which is more stressful, but mostly it's internal, which is cutthroat, because we never want to fail an external audit.
After being audited for the third time for a different process, the next audit went like:
Auditor: Do you have... calibration... blah blah blah de blah blah [doesn't wait for me to answer and checkmarks all the boxes] Can you show me -- never mind -- [checkmarks more boxes]. Are there measurement uncertainty statistics -- jesus, why do I even bother, look who I'm talking to -- [checkmarks more boxes]
Me: Um. Do I actually need to be here for this, or are you good on your own?
Auditor: [mutters to himself, checks a few more boxes, makes a shooing motion with his hand]
Me: Alrighty, then. Um. I'll just be in my office.
And my favourite: THREE
So I'm chatting on WhatsApp with my TW!beta (who has also been my Otherfic!beta), castmeaway, today at work, and I offer this conversation without context:
castmeaway: I'm just that annoying fungus you can't get rid of that you'll have to explain
Me: Fandom Foot: it's like Athlete's Foot, but more invasive
ONE
I go to a massage therapist who specializes in sport injuries and kinesiology -- his massages aren't relaxing, but I do manage to sleep the entire night through instead of waking up and finding a new comfortable way to stretch out. It's an effect that lasts for weeks until I screw myself up again, somehow. Anyway, I had an appointment with him on Tuesday, whereupon I woke up the next morning sore as fuck, but somehow managed to roll out of bed and to go to the gym. Handily, he happens to go to my gym, too, and at about the same time.
He was using equipment when I walked by, and I said hi -- he stopped in the middle of his set to ask:
Him: How are you feeling?
Me: Like I lost a fight.
He laughed so hard he couldn't finish his set. I think that's a satisfying revenge (however small) for feeling as if I've been flattened to a pancake.
TWO
If it's news to you, I work in a lab doing Awesomely Cool Stuff on a regular basis. The downside of the Awesomely Cool Stuff (besides facepalm-worthy coworkers) is that I have all of my processes audited to make sure I am doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. Sometimes it's by an external auditor, which is more stressful, but mostly it's internal, which is cutthroat, because we never want to fail an external audit.
After being audited for the third time for a different process, the next audit went like:
Auditor: Do you have... calibration... blah blah blah de blah blah [doesn't wait for me to answer and checkmarks all the boxes] Can you show me -- never mind -- [checkmarks more boxes]. Are there measurement uncertainty statistics -- jesus, why do I even bother, look who I'm talking to -- [checkmarks more boxes]
Me: Um. Do I actually need to be here for this, or are you good on your own?
Auditor: [mutters to himself, checks a few more boxes, makes a shooing motion with his hand]
Me: Alrighty, then. Um. I'll just be in my office.
And my favourite: THREE
So I'm chatting on WhatsApp with my TW!beta (who has also been my Otherfic!beta), castmeaway, today at work, and I offer this conversation without context:
castmeaway: I'm just that annoying fungus you can't get rid of that you'll have to explain
Me: Fandom Foot: it's like Athlete's Foot, but more invasive