DON'T DRINK THE JELLY
Well folks I have good and bad news for you. I'll give you the bad news first. Today at 5:30 a.m. (or so) they captured Sadam Huesain (hope i spelled that right, and if i didn't, who gives a shit u all are sluts anyways.) But little does anyone know, at 4:30 a.m (or so) the mistook the recording artist Billy Ray Sirus for international serial killer, Osma Bin Laden. Right now they have him captive and continue to torture him for information he doesn't have. We need to help him, if I don't here him sing "Achey Brakey Heart" again, i dont know what ill do. I think that it would effect us all if they kill him or even worse cut his mullet. So I will speak for all of us and say Billy we are with you stay strong man. But fear not I didnt write this entry to solely be the bearer of bad news, like i said earlier i have wonderfull news too. Today at 3:36 p.m i finally lost my virginity, to a pound cake. It was the most romatic and passionate way i could have possibly fathomed to lose my virginity. It gets better, later on this evening i was stripped naked and completely deloused by a group of shinto warriors. After all of that i needed a nap so, i came home and prayed to jah and slept for about three seconds before being awakened by a rapping sound on my window, i thought to myself "i wonder who this could be" so i arose from my slumber and approached the window with great curiousity, only to discover that it was none other than a group of jahovis witnesses (if i didnt spell that write, fuck off). So I invited them in for a midafternoon, early evening cup of coffie, we must have talked for about three hours, they read me the watch tower, i tied them to a chair and made them watch hardcore porn, we played monopoly, had sex with underage boys, talked about investing, then our conversation abruptley came to an end when i took out my double barreled shot gun and their teeth out the back of one of their heads, the other one I hurt really bad, but kept him alive so i could have a companion, and to torture of course. So he is in my closet screaming right now, HAHAHA what a day. Oh yeah none of this actually happened it was all a joke HAHAHA fooled ya. Anyway i have to get going my life parter, Ray , is getting impatient. Have a glorious evening, and i hope all of you are impaled by a rinosaurus's tusk. Well not all of you, some of you should be beaten to death with your own stupidity. Now if you would please FUCK OFF.