just the way it is...

[lo_loworld]

for the first time...

I cried tonight..

at the thought of leaving.
Because..my room is a mess, and I want to leave it
exactly the way it is..
and for the first time, I'm scared.

I'm moving away..for a minimum of 2 years...
and I'll miss my home..
and my family..and my dog.

I'll miss going on runs or walks at 3 am,
and feeling safe because im in my own
neighborhood...
I'm not supposed to walk alone after
dark in Vancouver..for good reasons.

I think its finally setting in..
this is a huge step..a huge decision.
In some ways, I cannot believe I was capable
of making it.

but here I am.
Everything is ...pure chaos..in my room, in my home,
in my relationships.
most of all..

In my head.

I know it'll be great..wonderful,
but right now I'm scared and sad.

Thats what I am.

sometimes...

Too
Much
to
Handle.

:::the end:::