i don't feel so far away from you lately, love me on the sly

[lo0o0ony_lauren]

O HAI EVERYONE. I has birthday fic for Moog!
Title: Loose Ends
Fandom: The History Boys
Pairing: Irwin/Dakin
Summary: For moogle62 ’s birthday, because special occasions like birthdays deserve some kind of resolution. (I'm really sickly at the moment and can only apologise for all that follows. Hope you don’t hate it. ILU VERY MUCH.) Thanks go to cathamarine and strangeumbrella

Comments

[moogle62]

Right, okay, I have gone through and picked LINES OF WONDER out of all the other LINES OF JOY and have ended up with pretty much the entire fic in a Word document waiting to be pasted back here. NEVER MIND I shall throw my feelings at you regardless, because you are awesome and this is win and THANK YOU A LOT ILU SO MUUUUCH.

- Admittedly, he hadn’t really gone out intending to sleep with anyone - there was a brunette in a short short skirt who kept smiling at him out the corner of her eye and he’d thought, maybe - Here is when your Dakin came and smacked me in the face with his Dakin-ness, how do you do that?

- Dakin’s struggling to reconcile his memories of the party with ending up here, pressed into this depressingly seventies upholstery by someone whose name he’s fighting with drunken valiance to remember, but then there’s that breath again, ragged against his skin, and a sudden shock of lips and heat - I don't think I actually had anything sensible to say here other than HI DAKIN and I adore the phrase 'drunken valiance' and I read it several times, so here it is.

- Irwin didn’t stay a teacher for very long, but before he left he’d already learned to tell the time of day by the slump of their shoulders, the angle of them, almost to the minute. Now that he’s a journalist he just wears a watch. It’s not the same. - See, now, I want to know how you came up with this because the image is just ridiculously perfect and right and heart-hurty all at once, and, and, nnnngh, Irwin.

- Irwin was in love with him for years, for years without him ever so much as noticing. Irwin was Posner once.
Only not as brave. - UNFG is what I have to say here, very well, I feel.

- It was. Show a little willing, a little understanding and the sad old bastard would give you the world. But, Irwin. Just essays, marks, exams, more essays, he probably thought in bloody grade tiers and, oh, didn’t it just get right under Dakin’s skin. - OW LOZ THAT WOULD BE MY HEART YOU ARE SMUSHING. It's got just the right tinge of Dakin bitterness as well as being true in the bad way and NNNNNGH LOZ.

- Except something about his posture looked different now, like he was acting being himself - like he knew he was being watched. Dakin tugged on his collar and smiled with half his mouth. - Oh, Irwin, is what I said here. Irwin makes me cry. IRWIN.

- Lockwood closed the door on his way out and Irwin’s eyes travelled as far as the edge of the desk, then stayed there. He said, "Is there something you want to talk to me about?" But he didn’t look up. - IRWIN IRWIN IRWIN. I love your Irwin.

- into his own Bright Future, a battered old suitcase dangling half-heartedly from one arm, box under the other, blinking under the weight of all that sky. And his first thought was this: everything’s so green. - That is a wonderful first thought to have. It is the kind of nonsense I would think. ALSO, it is brilliant. Did I mention I love you enough yet?

- Then, instantly and embarrassingly, Dakin had thought of Irwin’s lies, and Irwin’s embarrassment, and Irwin, with his own charm and confidence and intelligence that gave way to a well-concealed but enormous sense of inadequacy. The second thought Dakin had had about the rest of his life was, Irwin would understand. - This is in strong contention for My Favourite Line in this thing. I don't know how you get Irwin and Dakin so well-written but you do, and plz be doing that more. YOU MAKE THEIR NESS SO TANGIBLE. ('ness' here representing a Myriad of Things that I can't actually find useful or sensible words for).

- Irwin woke up burning with heat and shame and surprise, the brush of fingers against his skin so vivid as to be almost real, and saw the papers the estate agent had given him scattered all over the floor. - IRWIN ILU.

There were righted wrongs, obviously, mistakes scribbled as easily from his life as if he himself had only been written in ink, but mostly and more than anything else there was Dakin. - NNNNNNNNGH, is about all I can say to this without embarrassing myself.

[moogle62]

AHAHAHA, lj comment limits I laugh at you!

Here we go, more fangiriling:

- If he looks to his left, he will be able to see the couple two tables away whose argument is slowly escalating, or the waitress who looks like she’d rather be anywhere else, or the silhouette of the word ‘café’, backwards on the green tile floor. Looking straight ahead isn’t really an option. - Loz, stop being so good at using words now (plz don't). Scene-setting brilliance, my dear.

- Dakin looks left. At the counter there is a thin, bespectacled man studying the chalk boards nailed to the wall, and Dakin finds himself saying oh my God Irwin too loudly and the man looks round and their eyes meet. - I may have actually gone 'EEEEEEEE OH MY GOD' here, I don't remember (lies, I totally did).

- And Dakin says, no, no I’m not, actually can it wait? He can still hear his father spluttering as he crosses the room, but Irwin exhales his name like a secret and he’s gripping the counter almost for support, and since when did the room get so large, why on earth is it so difficult just to reach him? Here is the other line in contention for My Favourite Line (as is the one just above this, actually) and UNFG and also NNNGH and OTHER NOISE-EXPRESSING PHRASES OF PAIN AND DELIGHT.

- Dakin says, sir, can I have a word please, can we go somewhere? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about. Irwin looks away. He says don’t call me sir, Dakin, please. And Dakin says, well, okay, so don’t call me Dakin, and holds out a hand for him to shake. - ASJFJGKDBGDSKBGDSKB is pretty much the state of my mind here, so that is what I shall say to you. I love that Irwin doesn't want to be called sir. I love that Dakin doesn't want to be called Dakin. I LOVE THEM (AND YOU) AND I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY FOREVER PLZ.

- They smile at each other. Tom goes just a little red. And together they walk out of the café and into the Big Wide World. - :DDDDD

I think we have established now that I LOVE YOU and your fic yet am unable to express myself in any kind of coherent or useful way, but THANK YOUUUU, ILU ♥ etc a lot.

(Also, what is wrong? Are you okay, little miss sickly?)