(no subject)
Just like women, man can be mysterious aswell. It's funny how people and relationships work. Someone that you were so used to. Someone who you spent every minute of your time with and was so much of a part of your life. For you to stand in front of that person one day after not being with them for a certain long period of time and feel as if thats the first time you see them and get that feeling of nervousness, is incredible. And then you want them to so badly just hug and kiss you. It's such a great yet sad feeling.
My issue is this.. I am in love with someone that I cannot have. I mean I can have them sure, but the reality is that there is so much negativity surrounding us, that it would have to be kept a secret. We could never express our love for eachother with the most important person in his life.. his mother. You might be reading this and wonder why she is such a big deal and why we even care about her thoughts on ''us'', unlike everyone else who just says '' fuck what the parents think''. Well when it comes to being kicked out of your house because your with a certain girl, it is a big deal. She could never be told to avoid all that mess. At the same time, I cannot live in a secret full of lies to a person that shouldn't be lied to. Then theres a part of me that after all is said and done, regrets my decision not to be with him and asks myself ''why the hell did i go and do that for? we can be together, just keep it from them'' lol. It was hard sticking to my decision. I have common sence one minute and then the next I don't and my heart gets in the way of my brain.
After all of that mess, i ask myself. '' Well if it was really meant to be, then why did all of this have to happen?'' and my brain takes back into action. And then I'm just running in circles. It's like, I am arguing with myself.
My brain and heart are very much against eachother at this point. And it sucks because I am right in the middle of them. I am just plain out confused. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart took over today and it felt so good. My brain is was very much against it, but this time it didn't get in the way.
I think I may have a solution to all this. it won't be an easy task, but in order for happiness, i need to swallow my pride write her a letter of truce. God I REALLY do not want to do this but if it's what I need to do then so be it. In that aspect, my heart and brain are on the same level. At least something is agreed upon.
Well see, I'm still thinking about it. >_
My issue is this.. I am in love with someone that I cannot have. I mean I can have them sure, but the reality is that there is so much negativity surrounding us, that it would have to be kept a secret. We could never express our love for eachother with the most important person in his life.. his mother. You might be reading this and wonder why she is such a big deal and why we even care about her thoughts on ''us'', unlike everyone else who just says '' fuck what the parents think''. Well when it comes to being kicked out of your house because your with a certain girl, it is a big deal. She could never be told to avoid all that mess. At the same time, I cannot live in a secret full of lies to a person that shouldn't be lied to. Then theres a part of me that after all is said and done, regrets my decision not to be with him and asks myself ''why the hell did i go and do that for? we can be together, just keep it from them'' lol. It was hard sticking to my decision. I have common sence one minute and then the next I don't and my heart gets in the way of my brain.
After all of that mess, i ask myself. '' Well if it was really meant to be, then why did all of this have to happen?'' and my brain takes back into action. And then I'm just running in circles. It's like, I am arguing with myself.
My brain and heart are very much against eachother at this point. And it sucks because I am right in the middle of them. I am just plain out confused. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart took over today and it felt so good. My brain is was very much against it, but this time it didn't get in the way.
I think I may have a solution to all this. it won't be an easy task, but in order for happiness, i need to swallow my pride write her a letter of truce. God I REALLY do not want to do this but if it's what I need to do then so be it. In that aspect, my heart and brain are on the same level. At least something is agreed upon.
Well see, I'm still thinking about it. >_