October 27th
[After reading about Rome and learning how to to outline a paper]
Me: "So what is something you would do if you were in Rome?"
Destiny: [Hand shoots up] "Stare."
Me: "Excuse me? ... Like at art or something?"
Destiny: "No... Just stare."
[Thinking to myself how creepy some kids are]
October 28th
[While working on make-up work after school with students]
Me: "Okay, so now we need to write a slogan for Abe Lincoln. What do we know about him?"
Daniel: "He's been on TV."
Me: "No. Anyway, what is political stance?"
Daniel: "Hey, did they even have TV's then? How did they do that!?"
Me: "We're doomed."
October 29th
[While reading books about heroes and mythology]
Blake: "Mrs. Z! Odin looks like Jesus!" [minutes pass]
Blake: "Mrs. Z! Zeus looks like Jesus too!" [another minute passes]
Blake: "Hey, Poisiden looks like Jesus too, but he wears less clothes! [maybe 30 seconds pass]
Blake: "Mrs Z!-"
Me: "I get it, they're naked and look like Jesus. Thanks for pointing that out. Now read."
[On a side-note, because Greek statues have penis', I had to cover the pictures they printed out of statues with SpongeBob stickers and stars so they would stop commenting on how hung the statues were]
November 2nd
Gabe: "Mrs. Z, just so you don't worry, I won't be here a couple days around Veterinarian's Day."
Me: "What? When is that?"
Gabe: "You know, Veterinarian's Day. We don't have school."
Me: "Do you mean Veteran's Day?"
Gabe: "Oh yeah. That one. Come on, you know what I meant."
Me: "....Ok."
November 8th
Brianna: "Mrs. Z, do you miss your husband?"
Me: "Well, yes. That's generally the thing that happens when you're far away from your husband."
Brianna: "You should spend some time at the bar. I think that will help."
November 17th
[Everyone is working quietly on writing projects. G raises hand]
Me: "Yeah?"
Gabe: "Woah. I feel weird..."
Me: "Are you going to throw up?"
Gabe: "No. I just never raise my hand. It's weird being on this side of things."
Me: " ... Ok. Keep it up?"
November 17th
My student J keeps getting attached to his chair. No one is really sure how he does this; he sits, works, and when he goes to stand up he is attached. We have tried to re-create this and cannot get the strap to fit between the back and the bar of the chair. Today is the 2nd day and 3rd time this has happened. Rather than help today, I stood up, walked to my desk and took pictures like a good teacher should.
End result: 10 minutes later and a go with scissors freed the child.