Death; a friend that alone can remove the pain his physicians cannot cure...
Today is awful...
Today turned out to be okay in the morning. I brought my pictures of Elliott in and hung them up behind my desk. I was sharing about him, really bragged him up, and I really just gave myself a lot of false hope. Elliott died this morning. I didn't find out until this afternoon. I am so let down. I really thought that he would get better. I feel .... stuck. I feel like I knew this was ultimately how it was going to be, but I just kept counting the days and today would have been day four; if he could have just held on a bit longer he had a good chance.
I mostly wish I could have been there more for him. I feel bad, I think I let him down. I know that's not true, but I can't help feeling any other way. At least he had one good day, right? He had at least one bath worth playing in, one good night's sleep on a soft bed, and a million hugs and kisses. That's the most I had to offer; I have to accept the things I cannot change. Everyone keeps telling me that I did all I could, but I could have paid and started his treatments earlier... I know I am being ridiculous.
Happiness is a warm puppy.
~ Charles Schulz
Today turned out to be okay in the morning. I brought my pictures of Elliott in and hung them up behind my desk. I was sharing about him, really bragged him up, and I really just gave myself a lot of false hope. Elliott died this morning. I didn't find out until this afternoon. I am so let down. I really thought that he would get better. I feel .... stuck. I feel like I knew this was ultimately how it was going to be, but I just kept counting the days and today would have been day four; if he could have just held on a bit longer he had a good chance.
I mostly wish I could have been there more for him. I feel bad, I think I let him down. I know that's not true, but I can't help feeling any other way. At least he had one good day, right? He had at least one bath worth playing in, one good night's sleep on a soft bed, and a million hugs and kisses. That's the most I had to offer; I have to accept the things I cannot change. Everyone keeps telling me that I did all I could, but I could have paid and started his treatments earlier... I know I am being ridiculous.
Happiness is a warm puppy.
~ Charles Schulz