On the world and other people:
Some things I've been thinking about for a while, but felt like putting into writing...
Looking back on this journal, I think I've spent of lot of entries ranting in my comments. Doubtless I thought the ranting was necessary and/or cathartic at the time. But right now I do not feel like ranting or otherwise complaining. My current mindset is one of...contentment. I use the word cautiously because I am, generally speaking, fairly pessimistic and waiting subconsciously for the end of whatever good fortune has come my way. Because I do not believe good things last indefinitely. Because until fairly recently I have seen no reason in my small, insular little world to believe they would ever again arrive in the first place.
So it is interesting to see the comfort I take from small - if variously important things. I have jobs that I enjoy, that I get great satisfaction out of as well as payment (one could not seriously doubt the importance of that). I've no great social life, but I have never have, and I find my enjoyment and recreation in my usual places. Books. Writing (much more at the moment, and really liking it). TV shows. Fandoms and the internet. I am involved in these things and actually enjoying it, being no longer in a period of using my interests as a form of procrastination and escapism.
Do I think of actually getting out and doing things? Of course, but that isn't much of a concern at the moment, and I'm not in the mood to berate myself or be berated for lack of...socialisation.
The world might be other people, but I'll deal with that in time. With my job and life as it is, I think I'm making a start.
ETA - Huh. Have just been friended by someone I don't know, and have never seen around before. Odd.
Looking back on this journal, I think I've spent of lot of entries ranting in my comments. Doubtless I thought the ranting was necessary and/or cathartic at the time. But right now I do not feel like ranting or otherwise complaining. My current mindset is one of...contentment. I use the word cautiously because I am, generally speaking, fairly pessimistic and waiting subconsciously for the end of whatever good fortune has come my way. Because I do not believe good things last indefinitely. Because until fairly recently I have seen no reason in my small, insular little world to believe they would ever again arrive in the first place.
So it is interesting to see the comfort I take from small - if variously important things. I have jobs that I enjoy, that I get great satisfaction out of as well as payment (one could not seriously doubt the importance of that). I've no great social life, but I have never have, and I find my enjoyment and recreation in my usual places. Books. Writing (much more at the moment, and really liking it). TV shows. Fandoms and the internet. I am involved in these things and actually enjoying it, being no longer in a period of using my interests as a form of procrastination and escapism.
Do I think of actually getting out and doing things? Of course, but that isn't much of a concern at the moment, and I'm not in the mood to berate myself or be berated for lack of...socialisation.
The world might be other people, but I'll deal with that in time. With my job and life as it is, I think I'm making a start.
ETA - Huh. Have just been friended by someone I don't know, and have never seen around before. Odd.