day by day
so it has been 25 days since my mother died. and i dont know if things are getting better. i am moving out of housing after this quarter. i cant stand all the stupid rules and all the stupid rap bullshit that i am forced to listen to because of my roommates. i love lynnette. she is awesome, but her choice in music sometimes really blows. i mean at least she like my music. she will sit down and listen to the things that i want to listen to but no not danesha. i cant win with her. i found out this last sunday that danesha is gay... i dont care that she is gay because i am not. so she can stare and think whatever it is that she wants to... i am not into it and she cant persuade me. jamal is being weird. i think he likes lynnette. but whatever. he told me that our friendship wasnt the same and it never would be again. so i think that slowly but surely he is going to disappear like the rest of the friends i have made in my life. lynnette... this is her last quarter here at sullivan and then she goes back home. i am going to miss her. she is the only one that i have truly opened up to down here. mothers day is coming up and taht is all i am hearing about. i cant stand it. everyone is bitching either that they have to spend the time with their mothers or that they are pissed that they cant get home to see them. i think they should just be glad that theirs are still around. but who am i to say this shit. i miss my mother so much. i cried most of last night. i hate being here and i think that i am trying to fail more than i am to pass. i quit going to the majority of my classes, i dont talk to anyone, i cant go back home for the quarter. my father has told me to stay in school and if i decide to drop out for the quarter not even bother coming home. i understand that school is a big thing but its not like i am planning on dropping out and never coming back. i planned to come back next quarter. i dont know, i wish things would go back to normal. but as it is said.... what is normal. i miss my friends from back home. i never see them anymore. this is a reason i wish i hadnt come here for school. but i like the chefs and i like the fact that after this i can make something of myself. but i guess if i realy think that things are this bad i could look forward to the fact that in 24 years there is a 1 and 38 chance that the whole is going to be struck by the asteroid.