Day Six: Wes/Faith/Lilah
Title: Control
Author: Amy (alexia@innergeekdom.net)
Fandom: Angel
Ship: Wes/Faith/Lilah
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If it were mine, I would not be debating whether or not I can afford to buy the Urban Legends DVD. (Which I am, by the way, to make up for not going to Moonlight Rising. Because, dammit, I deserve Jared Leto and Alicia Witt if I cannot have a con or a social life. But, well, I digress.)
Summary: Three warm bodies on a cold apocalyptic night.
Spoilers: Somewhere towards the end of Angel s4, where it swerves off "canon" and into "something that isn't canon but pleases me anyway".
Warnings: Character deaths. Lots of 'em.
Notes: Props to my darling nifra_idril for beta-age. Written for lilah_month's Wes/Faith/Lilah day.
1,292 words
Control.
(Which is what they're looking for, all three of them in some sense, Faith of course but also Lilah and Wes, lying in the bed and panting for air like it's going out of style which it might be if they're not careful right now as the basic invitation requirement is the only thing stopping the cabin they're staying in right now from being vamp fodder and really, they should probably be doing any number of things involved in protecting themselves from early death, but a life and death situation requires a certain number of things to be examined from the to-do list everyone has, whether they acknowledge it or not, of Things To Do Before They Die, and if it just so happens that one last time before the end of the world is overlapping on all three lists, well, far be it from any of them to argue with whatever fate has made this possible, especially when they're stuck in the middle of the woods and aside from fighting and fucking there's not much to do but look at the pinecones outside the window and wonder why they're called pinecones and not pine-something-they-actually-look-like, which is what Faith was doing right up until...)
Control.
(Which is the only thing right now keeping any one of them from leaning over and starting again, again again again, because the only other option is to get out of bed and to fight and it's not that fighting is bad, exactly, it's kind of what she was built for, but there's a difference between being built to kill and being built to be killed and right up til this moment she's always figured it was pretty much the former but right now, with everything spinning faster and faster and the world coming to something like an end if it hasn't gotten there already, with Willow dead and Dawn dead and Giles dead and Xander a vampire, which is worse than dead, especially since none of them could kill him until that one moment where he stood over Buffy and lowered his mouth to her neck and they could see the blood from miles away and in the end it was Anya who leveled the crossbow and got him but not before it was just too late because he had so much blood lust and he'd just given up his...)
Control.
(Which is what she's always lacked, since the beginning, the one thing that Buffy always had that she could never compete with, the one thing that came in somewhere between Thrill of the Hunt and Razor-Sharp Instincts that they'd just plain run out of when Buffy died for that one second and then Kendra- she'd never met Kendra; did she have it?- but that's not the point, the point is that Faith doesn't, nor will she ever, have the power to do half the things that come so easily for Buffy, no, used to come so easily for Buffy, but don't anymore because Xander was there and in that one horrible moment no one could stop him, fangs poised at her throat, and then deep and gashing, and Faith wasn't even there but she can imagine it so perfectly, no matter how many times Wes tells her it wasn't her fault and no one could have stopped him and it all happened so suddenly and no one could ever even pretend that things would have been better if...)
Control.
(Which is the main thing missing on the streets right now, as anarchy reigns and all of California is overcome with riots and mayhem and the blood flowing from available victims like rivers and you can't cross a fucking street without seeing bloodstains on the sidewalk, and no matter how many times Lilah tells her that it's not an apocalypse, not exactly, not in the strictest sense, because Wolfram and Hart follows those all the time and she called Files and Records and this is NOT an apocalypse, just a little bit of a "misunderstanding", but it is an apocalypse because if it's not the end of the world, it might as well be, because Angel is dead and Gunn is dead and Cordelia died peacefully in her comasleep which doesn't much surprise anyone but it should because Cordelia should have lived forever and instead she's in a shallow grave with so many others that Faith doesn't even know where she could go to pay her last respects, even if she could get out of the cabin, which she can't because the nights are angry and the days are lonely and every step away from Wes and Lilah brings her that much closer to chaos and she can't give up this easily when she has so much to give...)
Control.
(Which is the one thing that she's gotten, being with Wes and Lilah; has given up the freedom to do what she wants when she wants and the time to do all the things she's always done and the sense that she's truly on her own; but maybe those aren't bad things to give up, at least not entirely, when this way she always knows that no matter what happens there's five hours of training and four of patrolling and three hot meals and two people warming the one bed at night when she finally climbs into it, sore and tired and just ready to die, but they won't let her die because, like Wes says, she has to choose to die and right now with everything that's going on there isn't a sign in the world that Faith should be choosing anything but LIVE and so she is, with every fiber of her being, because at least if she lives, at least that's doing something, saving something, saving someone, even if it isn't really her that's being saved, even if salvation is something that none of them deserve anymore, the three traitors to their kind, the betrayers who are the only ones left, and Faith's sure that there's symbolism to them being the only ones left but her eyes are too blurry with tears to see it, and anyway, she doesn't want to see it, just wants the world to fuck off and let her fight and maybe even be lucky enough to give up some...)
Control.
(Which is maybe why everything's starting to blur in her mind, another day and another and another another another until the only things that stand out are the details, the way Lilah's hair falls around her neck when she first steps out of the snow and into their room, or the way Wes's hand feels on her shoulder as it guides the arm holding the sword that she needs to learn to use properly because there are demons demons everywhere (and not a drop to drink) and right now there are at least twenty forty sixty eighty a hundred and ten vampires right outside their door and the only thing saving them right now is a simple incantation Lilah put on the door that's guaranteed to keep out a few dozen demon species and the fact that the vampires are too stupid to back away from the door to give the nastier creatures the space to come in and throw each human out like sheeps to a hungry pack of wolves, which is another good reason that Faith is very glad that she's in here, lying on her right side and watching Lilah's chest rise and fall as she breathes and realizing that Wes is watching the exact same thing from her other side, because in here things are normal and stable and terrifying but out there things are completely out of...)
Control.
(Run for your lives.)
Author: Amy (alexia@innergeekdom.net)
Fandom: Angel
Ship: Wes/Faith/Lilah
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If it were mine, I would not be debating whether or not I can afford to buy the Urban Legends DVD. (Which I am, by the way, to make up for not going to Moonlight Rising. Because, dammit, I deserve Jared Leto and Alicia Witt if I cannot have a con or a social life. But, well, I digress.)
Summary: Three warm bodies on a cold apocalyptic night.
Spoilers: Somewhere towards the end of Angel s4, where it swerves off "canon" and into "something that isn't canon but pleases me anyway".
Warnings: Character deaths. Lots of 'em.
Notes: Props to my darling nifra_idril for beta-age. Written for lilah_month's Wes/Faith/Lilah day.
1,292 words
Control.
(Which is what they're looking for, all three of them in some sense, Faith of course but also Lilah and Wes, lying in the bed and panting for air like it's going out of style which it might be if they're not careful right now as the basic invitation requirement is the only thing stopping the cabin they're staying in right now from being vamp fodder and really, they should probably be doing any number of things involved in protecting themselves from early death, but a life and death situation requires a certain number of things to be examined from the to-do list everyone has, whether they acknowledge it or not, of Things To Do Before They Die, and if it just so happens that one last time before the end of the world is overlapping on all three lists, well, far be it from any of them to argue with whatever fate has made this possible, especially when they're stuck in the middle of the woods and aside from fighting and fucking there's not much to do but look at the pinecones outside the window and wonder why they're called pinecones and not pine-something-they-actually-look-like, which is what Faith was doing right up until...)
Control.
(Which is the only thing right now keeping any one of them from leaning over and starting again, again again again, because the only other option is to get out of bed and to fight and it's not that fighting is bad, exactly, it's kind of what she was built for, but there's a difference between being built to kill and being built to be killed and right up til this moment she's always figured it was pretty much the former but right now, with everything spinning faster and faster and the world coming to something like an end if it hasn't gotten there already, with Willow dead and Dawn dead and Giles dead and Xander a vampire, which is worse than dead, especially since none of them could kill him until that one moment where he stood over Buffy and lowered his mouth to her neck and they could see the blood from miles away and in the end it was Anya who leveled the crossbow and got him but not before it was just too late because he had so much blood lust and he'd just given up his...)
Control.
(Which is what she's always lacked, since the beginning, the one thing that Buffy always had that she could never compete with, the one thing that came in somewhere between Thrill of the Hunt and Razor-Sharp Instincts that they'd just plain run out of when Buffy died for that one second and then Kendra- she'd never met Kendra; did she have it?- but that's not the point, the point is that Faith doesn't, nor will she ever, have the power to do half the things that come so easily for Buffy, no, used to come so easily for Buffy, but don't anymore because Xander was there and in that one horrible moment no one could stop him, fangs poised at her throat, and then deep and gashing, and Faith wasn't even there but she can imagine it so perfectly, no matter how many times Wes tells her it wasn't her fault and no one could have stopped him and it all happened so suddenly and no one could ever even pretend that things would have been better if...)
Control.
(Which is the main thing missing on the streets right now, as anarchy reigns and all of California is overcome with riots and mayhem and the blood flowing from available victims like rivers and you can't cross a fucking street without seeing bloodstains on the sidewalk, and no matter how many times Lilah tells her that it's not an apocalypse, not exactly, not in the strictest sense, because Wolfram and Hart follows those all the time and she called Files and Records and this is NOT an apocalypse, just a little bit of a "misunderstanding", but it is an apocalypse because if it's not the end of the world, it might as well be, because Angel is dead and Gunn is dead and Cordelia died peacefully in her comasleep which doesn't much surprise anyone but it should because Cordelia should have lived forever and instead she's in a shallow grave with so many others that Faith doesn't even know where she could go to pay her last respects, even if she could get out of the cabin, which she can't because the nights are angry and the days are lonely and every step away from Wes and Lilah brings her that much closer to chaos and she can't give up this easily when she has so much to give...)
Control.
(Which is the one thing that she's gotten, being with Wes and Lilah; has given up the freedom to do what she wants when she wants and the time to do all the things she's always done and the sense that she's truly on her own; but maybe those aren't bad things to give up, at least not entirely, when this way she always knows that no matter what happens there's five hours of training and four of patrolling and three hot meals and two people warming the one bed at night when she finally climbs into it, sore and tired and just ready to die, but they won't let her die because, like Wes says, she has to choose to die and right now with everything that's going on there isn't a sign in the world that Faith should be choosing anything but LIVE and so she is, with every fiber of her being, because at least if she lives, at least that's doing something, saving something, saving someone, even if it isn't really her that's being saved, even if salvation is something that none of them deserve anymore, the three traitors to their kind, the betrayers who are the only ones left, and Faith's sure that there's symbolism to them being the only ones left but her eyes are too blurry with tears to see it, and anyway, she doesn't want to see it, just wants the world to fuck off and let her fight and maybe even be lucky enough to give up some...)
Control.
(Which is maybe why everything's starting to blur in her mind, another day and another and another another another until the only things that stand out are the details, the way Lilah's hair falls around her neck when she first steps out of the snow and into their room, or the way Wes's hand feels on her shoulder as it guides the arm holding the sword that she needs to learn to use properly because there are demons demons everywhere (and not a drop to drink) and right now there are at least twenty forty sixty eighty a hundred and ten vampires right outside their door and the only thing saving them right now is a simple incantation Lilah put on the door that's guaranteed to keep out a few dozen demon species and the fact that the vampires are too stupid to back away from the door to give the nastier creatures the space to come in and throw each human out like sheeps to a hungry pack of wolves, which is another good reason that Faith is very glad that she's in here, lying on her right side and watching Lilah's chest rise and fall as she breathes and realizing that Wes is watching the exact same thing from her other side, because in here things are normal and stable and terrifying but out there things are completely out of...)
Control.
(Run for your lives.)