fic | d:tng | alone, for good | pt 1/1 | paige/alex | NR
Title: Alone, For Good.
Author: lamaitresse
Part: 1/1
Fandom: Degrassi: The Next Generation
Characters: Paige
Pairings: allusions to Palex (Paige/Alex)
Summary: As if Paige's panic attacks are about school. Pffffffffft.
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the Degrassi franchise.
Rating: Not Rated
I remember it perfectly, burned to memory the same way she’d burned our initials to a bench with her lighter. I’ve been playing that mid-September afternoon in my head, over and over and over again, for the past month. If I close my eyes I can still see the way the sun shone in through the window and lit up her face. The way she smiled when I sat next to her at the counter and ordered her favourite, from memory. The way she absentmindedly stirred it without so much as taking a sip the entire time we were there. And the way she seemed to withdraw into herself when I asked her if she was seeing anyone.
“I’m the Queen of Boring-Single-Lame-Land.”
My heart started jumping for joy right then and there. She was still single. Clearly she missed me as much as I missed her. And clearly there was still a glimmer of hope that we could get back together someday. Maybe. Hopefully.
I went back to Banting later that evening, smiling and singing to myself the entire drive. Seeing Alex had renewed my energy and I was starting to feel good about the university life. Then a week later she called to tell me she’d met a girl. That’s when the first panic attack hit me. I held it together as long as I could before making up some excuse to end the phone call. I stared at the picture I kept of her on the shelf, tears streaming down my face, not even considering that it was probably making things worse. All I could think about was her and how I was losing her; forget the fact that we’d been broken up for months. I suddenly realized I was going to be alone, for good.
I’ve stopped studying. I’ve stopped doing assignments. Hell, I’ve stopped going to most of my classes. In a last ditch effort to try and win her back, I’ve come to Toronto over Thanksgiving to spend some quality time with her, only to discover she’s invited that Carla to dinner as well. And now, here I am, locked up in my brother’s bathroom having my thousandth panic attack, and she’s on the other side of the door wondering what the hell is going on. She’s trying to soothe me now, telling me all the things she used to tell me when we were dating and I’d freak out about school, but it’s all too much to take. I’m snapping at her, and now I can hear her storming down the stairs because I can’t keep my fucking mouth shut.
I really am alone, for good.
Author: lamaitresse
Part: 1/1
Fandom: Degrassi: The Next Generation
Characters: Paige
Pairings: allusions to Palex (Paige/Alex)
Summary: As if Paige's panic attacks are about school. Pffffffffft.
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the Degrassi franchise.
Rating: Not Rated
I remember it perfectly, burned to memory the same way she’d burned our initials to a bench with her lighter. I’ve been playing that mid-September afternoon in my head, over and over and over again, for the past month. If I close my eyes I can still see the way the sun shone in through the window and lit up her face. The way she smiled when I sat next to her at the counter and ordered her favourite, from memory. The way she absentmindedly stirred it without so much as taking a sip the entire time we were there. And the way she seemed to withdraw into herself when I asked her if she was seeing anyone.
“I’m the Queen of Boring-Single-Lame-Land.”
My heart started jumping for joy right then and there. She was still single. Clearly she missed me as much as I missed her. And clearly there was still a glimmer of hope that we could get back together someday. Maybe. Hopefully.
I went back to Banting later that evening, smiling and singing to myself the entire drive. Seeing Alex had renewed my energy and I was starting to feel good about the university life. Then a week later she called to tell me she’d met a girl. That’s when the first panic attack hit me. I held it together as long as I could before making up some excuse to end the phone call. I stared at the picture I kept of her on the shelf, tears streaming down my face, not even considering that it was probably making things worse. All I could think about was her and how I was losing her; forget the fact that we’d been broken up for months. I suddenly realized I was going to be alone, for good.
I’ve stopped studying. I’ve stopped doing assignments. Hell, I’ve stopped going to most of my classes. In a last ditch effort to try and win her back, I’ve come to Toronto over Thanksgiving to spend some quality time with her, only to discover she’s invited that Carla to dinner as well. And now, here I am, locked up in my brother’s bathroom having my thousandth panic attack, and she’s on the other side of the door wondering what the hell is going on. She’s trying to soothe me now, telling me all the things she used to tell me when we were dating and I’d freak out about school, but it’s all too much to take. I’m snapping at her, and now I can hear her storming down the stairs because I can’t keep my fucking mouth shut.
I really am alone, for good.