They think it's all over - it is now!
After almost three years slogging through a system that at times has seemed almost designed to thwart them at every turn, my sister and brother-in-law finally made it to their final adoption hearing this morning, which lasted all of ten minutes. It was a formality. The birth family offered no objection - in fact, the birth father submitted a letter of blessing so gracious the judge almost cried! The forms were stamped and signed, the adoption order was ratified, and I am an auntie again.
More importantly, after 1205 and 864 days in care of the local authority respectively, the children are finally part of a family and free of The System.
So, 324 days after moving in, welcome to the family, Miss E and Little G!
I got to see them all for a few days at the end of July - I'd booked a week off work and my brother had booked the same week off work, so D&R booked an Airbnb nearby and trundled the children down for a few days of picnics in the sun. Luckily, it was a bright sunny week, as it turned out. We even managed an extended family get-together, with lots of socially distanced picnic rugs, so that the wider family got to meet the children at last.
In Other Good News, I had two cousins get married in the same week at the end of July. Yes, after all the stress and heartache, my cousin Gareth and his partner Nina finally made it to the registry office, although not without further hiccups along the way, as having set their rescheduled date, Gareth then fell ill with a nasty infection and ended up in hospital - he was discharged on the Friday and married on the Saturday. It was a very quiet affair, with only parents, locally-based siblings and the children in attendance - and right up till the last minute they weren't even planning to get dressed up for it, they were so disheartened by their situation. But my Big Sis sent them a bouquet of flowers from her garden and that inspired them to make the effort after all, and I'm so happy they did - Nina and the children are going to need those special memories to look back on. Gareth's brother Stephen has been over from Japan this week for a final visit with his brother and seeing pictures of them together reduced me to tears. Gareth doesn't have much time left. He's already lasted longer than expected - and honestly, I think it was sheer determination that brought him this far, he was determined to hang on until they could get married, determined to hang on to as much time with his kids as he can possibly get. But I don't know how much longer he can last now. I don't think anyone knows. He is having chemo to try to buy a little more time, but there's no way of predicting - could be months, could be weeks, could be days.
The other cousinly wedding was my little cousin Vee, who is a junior doctor in London and had been planning an overseas wedding in Italy for the summer, but in the end scaled her plans down to a registry officer with just her sister-in-law and a single friend as witness, because the extended family is too big to have everyone there and they didn't want to have to choose, plus her mum was (and still is) in hospital, so if one couldn't have parents there they decided that neither would! So in the end they had the most minimalist wedding imaginable and then instead of a reception went hiking up in the mountains for the afternoon, with Vee still in her wedding dress!
In Other, Other News, I have now had it in writing that my role has been identified as continued Homeworking for the 2020/2021 academic year, with no anticipated work on campus, this arrangement to be reviewed at Easter 2021. I already knew this would be the case, of course, but it's official now. I've been able to attend campus for a pre-booked half-hour slot to collect my chair, monitor and some other bits and pieces, and that's it - my home office is all set up, working from home is now my new normal for the foreseeable future. It still feels really weird. I really like the flexibility. I like not having to commute. I like having tea breaks in the garden. But it still feels really disconnected - I've gone from spending every day in a building with 250 other people to spending every day alone in my little flat and I really miss feeling connected to the rest of the department and chatting to people casually in passing and being in touch with what's going on in other teams and in other peoples' lives, and actually being able to see my work friends outside of the computer screen. I randomly bumped into a colleague while out for a walk the other day and it was disproportionately exciting to actually see someone in the flesh who isn't part of my regular circle!
But I know I am really lucky, and I do feel very safe and well protected, living in my enclosed little bubble.
I suppose we will all get used to the new normal in the end. This entry was originally posted at https://llywela.dreamwidth.org/1050196.html. Please feel free to comment either here, or there using OpenID.
More importantly, after 1205 and 864 days in care of the local authority respectively, the children are finally part of a family and free of The System.
So, 324 days after moving in, welcome to the family, Miss E and Little G!
I got to see them all for a few days at the end of July - I'd booked a week off work and my brother had booked the same week off work, so D&R booked an Airbnb nearby and trundled the children down for a few days of picnics in the sun. Luckily, it was a bright sunny week, as it turned out. We even managed an extended family get-together, with lots of socially distanced picnic rugs, so that the wider family got to meet the children at last.
In Other Good News, I had two cousins get married in the same week at the end of July. Yes, after all the stress and heartache, my cousin Gareth and his partner Nina finally made it to the registry office, although not without further hiccups along the way, as having set their rescheduled date, Gareth then fell ill with a nasty infection and ended up in hospital - he was discharged on the Friday and married on the Saturday. It was a very quiet affair, with only parents, locally-based siblings and the children in attendance - and right up till the last minute they weren't even planning to get dressed up for it, they were so disheartened by their situation. But my Big Sis sent them a bouquet of flowers from her garden and that inspired them to make the effort after all, and I'm so happy they did - Nina and the children are going to need those special memories to look back on. Gareth's brother Stephen has been over from Japan this week for a final visit with his brother and seeing pictures of them together reduced me to tears. Gareth doesn't have much time left. He's already lasted longer than expected - and honestly, I think it was sheer determination that brought him this far, he was determined to hang on until they could get married, determined to hang on to as much time with his kids as he can possibly get. But I don't know how much longer he can last now. I don't think anyone knows. He is having chemo to try to buy a little more time, but there's no way of predicting - could be months, could be weeks, could be days.
The other cousinly wedding was my little cousin Vee, who is a junior doctor in London and had been planning an overseas wedding in Italy for the summer, but in the end scaled her plans down to a registry officer with just her sister-in-law and a single friend as witness, because the extended family is too big to have everyone there and they didn't want to have to choose, plus her mum was (and still is) in hospital, so if one couldn't have parents there they decided that neither would! So in the end they had the most minimalist wedding imaginable and then instead of a reception went hiking up in the mountains for the afternoon, with Vee still in her wedding dress!
In Other, Other News, I have now had it in writing that my role has been identified as continued Homeworking for the 2020/2021 academic year, with no anticipated work on campus, this arrangement to be reviewed at Easter 2021. I already knew this would be the case, of course, but it's official now. I've been able to attend campus for a pre-booked half-hour slot to collect my chair, monitor and some other bits and pieces, and that's it - my home office is all set up, working from home is now my new normal for the foreseeable future. It still feels really weird. I really like the flexibility. I like not having to commute. I like having tea breaks in the garden. But it still feels really disconnected - I've gone from spending every day in a building with 250 other people to spending every day alone in my little flat and I really miss feeling connected to the rest of the department and chatting to people casually in passing and being in touch with what's going on in other teams and in other peoples' lives, and actually being able to see my work friends outside of the computer screen. I randomly bumped into a colleague while out for a walk the other day and it was disproportionately exciting to actually see someone in the flesh who isn't part of my regular circle!
But I know I am really lucky, and I do feel very safe and well protected, living in my enclosed little bubble.
I suppose we will all get used to the new normal in the end. This entry was originally posted at https://llywela.dreamwidth.org/1050196.html. Please feel free to comment either here, or there using OpenID.