DAMN IT NO.
I had just finished traveling the long and winding road of Beowulf, Chaucer, Spenser, Webster, and Milton. I had finally scanned my last poem, teased apart my last literary gender snafu, and compared my last structure. I had finished my English take-home final, and the sense of triumph it filled me with was powerful--the sense of relief. It seized me uncontrollably. I stood up, encouraged that one more obstacle between me and my Winter break had been conquered. Today's work was over, and that was left for me to prepare for tomorrow was rest in preparation for the tests ahead--a preparation that my weary form was all too ready to make.
And then... I heard it.
A low rumble, as one might expect to hear before an earthquake, getting louder as it billowed out, trumpeting a teeth-grating snort at its apex.
SnnnnnnrrrrkkkkXXXXXXXXX!!!
Dad fell asleep on the couch in the living room. The room directly below my bedroom in a house with laughably thin walls. I've made concerted efforts over the years to discourage this, telling Mom point blank that she is not to let this happen under any circumstaces. That he is to go to BED where there will be several doors between me and that odious sound. That this is her responsibliity.Yes, she may not like that sound either, but she married him. She can deal with it.
But apparently she must've assumed that there's an exception to this rule when I have a final the next morning and could really use some sleep that isn't punctuated by monstrous snorts. Extra fabulous. Thanks Mom.
...Wait! Did I just hear a door click? Did he go to bed?
...
...
...
...I don't hear any snoring...
OH THANK YOU, SWEET JESUS IT'S A MIRACLE
And then... I heard it.
A low rumble, as one might expect to hear before an earthquake, getting louder as it billowed out, trumpeting a teeth-grating snort at its apex.
SnnnnnnrrrrkkkkXXXXXXXXX!!!
Dad fell asleep on the couch in the living room. The room directly below my bedroom in a house with laughably thin walls. I've made concerted efforts over the years to discourage this, telling Mom point blank that she is not to let this happen under any circumstaces. That he is to go to BED where there will be several doors between me and that odious sound. That this is her responsibliity.Yes, she may not like that sound either, but she married him. She can deal with it.
But apparently she must've assumed that there's an exception to this rule when I have a final the next morning and could really use some sleep that isn't punctuated by monstrous snorts. Extra fabulous. Thanks Mom.
...Wait! Did I just hear a door click? Did he go to bed?
...
...
...
...I don't hear any snoring...
OH THANK YOU, SWEET JESUS IT'S A MIRACLE