[Fic] Naruto: Naruto + Sasuke (gen/brother): Distractions

Mar 11, 2008 14:59


Distractions

Summary: Pre-Chunnin/Itachi/Orochimaru. It's sometimes not Naruto's fault he's so clumsy, especially with explosive kunai. Unfortunately, Sasuke pays the price. Humor, one-sided NarutoxSakura, and unrealized subtext.

-----------

Sasuke was NOT jealous.

-----------

Naruto looked away for one second from the target as a certain caught his ( Read more... )

fic: naruto, series: naruto, ship: naruto/sakura, gen/family: sasuke and naruto

Leave a comment

transient_words March 12 2008, 17:58:45 UTC
I really enjoyed this, although I am too tired to leave a more eloquent review behind. Anyhow, I think this very IC because your dialogue really matches up the characters -- without falling into the cliché of using "dobe" and "teme". They sound like them: explosive, using cussing words and exchanging their usual terms of endearment.

I think dialogue is rather hard to write because it's so easy to slip into OOC area. So, what I mean to say is: you did a great job. Again, I could see Sasuke and Naruto arguing - you have this skill of making me feel like this is happening in canon. And you write some of the best Naruto/Sasuke banter scenes I have seen.

This part was love:

"--AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS BAST...--oh." Naruto's blue eyes blinked at him upside down. "Um...thanks."

This reminded me so much of early canon that I felt nostalgic . I think it this little moment just shows that, in spite of their fighting and exchanging insults, Naruto and Sasuke are friends. That, and Naruto being sheepish is always cute.

Sasuke was trying to pretend he wasn't holding back a blush by glaring a tree into dust. "When you like someone you should tell them how you feel. You never know when they'll be gone." His fists clenched. "Or when they'll change."

Naruto felt awkward, and he couldn't think of anything to say other than, "Oh."

I loved how awkward this was and how very cute. You managed to make Sasuke adorable, but at the same hinted at angst - Sasuke does know what it means to lose loved ones. He also knows what it means to love someone for years and, then, find out that said person isn't what you thought them to be. Very astutely written and thought-provoking.

I think “onna” is a rude term and I think that Wufei used it. But my memory is faulty: it has been years since I last saw GW (the TV channel simply stopped airing it).

Reply


Leave a comment

Up