Stasi: Not-my-wedding day nerves.
I, Anjastasia Il'asebet Sunrunner, am attending a wedding. Not just any wedding, mind...it's my commander's. Not only does this mean I have to dress nicely, not only does it mean I have to leave my girls behind (though, knowing Alata, she'll sneak herself in somehow and hide close by, but hey, I'm not going to argue with a spirit-beast of her size, especially one who seems to think she needs to guard my back), but there will undoubtedly be Very Important People present.
I can't do this. I shouldn't do this. I'm going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and it's all going to come crashing down, not on my head, but on Linthara's. And I don't want to do that, not now, not now that things are starting to look up between us, and especially not on her wedding day. I'm so nervous that I'm nauseous. I want to be there for her, not because she's my commander, but because I think she's trying to reach out, to make me feel welcome or whatever, and...
I almost wish Maze would be there. I know damned well he's unbalanced and predictably unpredictable, but at least I wouldn't be so damned alone. What a mess...I'm not even sure my new dress is really appropriate, though I admit, it's beautiful. I trimmed my hair last night, dredged up a bit of makeup, polished my earrings, found nice shoes, borrowed a necklace from Llewythi, found a stiletto that I can strap to my thigh (because I'm paranoid, and I will be damned if something should happen and I can't defend anyone)...
Blessed Ancients, if you could give your little sin'dorei follower a tiny bit of calm, stability, and patience, I would greatly appreciate it. Please? I've embarrassed Lin enough; I couldn't live with myself if I messed up today...
I can't do this. I shouldn't do this. I'm going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and it's all going to come crashing down, not on my head, but on Linthara's. And I don't want to do that, not now, not now that things are starting to look up between us, and especially not on her wedding day. I'm so nervous that I'm nauseous. I want to be there for her, not because she's my commander, but because I think she's trying to reach out, to make me feel welcome or whatever, and...
I almost wish Maze would be there. I know damned well he's unbalanced and predictably unpredictable, but at least I wouldn't be so damned alone. What a mess...I'm not even sure my new dress is really appropriate, though I admit, it's beautiful. I trimmed my hair last night, dredged up a bit of makeup, polished my earrings, found nice shoes, borrowed a necklace from Llewythi, found a stiletto that I can strap to my thigh (because I'm paranoid, and I will be damned if something should happen and I can't defend anyone)...
Blessed Ancients, if you could give your little sin'dorei follower a tiny bit of calm, stability, and patience, I would greatly appreciate it. Please? I've embarrassed Lin enough; I couldn't live with myself if I messed up today...