I'll be around...
Does it make me seem like a bad person to miss someone who was terrible to you?
Idk.
Its sappy sad,I'm alone music playing time right now for some odd reason.
Its not like I think about him too much anymore but a year and a half is a long time to just forget.
I gives me alot of relief to know that even though I was blamed for everything that I was the one who will never be the blame for why the relationship went down the shithole.
I personally dont even wana be with anyone else now...I am afraid of guys.
I dont want the stress of a relationship right now.
It sucks how I tend to be hostile and uptight to guys now too...I found that out when I was in GA.
I have not been single for like three years so I guess this will be my time to get to know myself again.
It makes me mad how I was blamed for everything he did to me times ten.
I have never cheated or gave him any reason to not be able to trust me and he did it to me.
I was even in the hospital when it happened, how low is that...that I'm dyin in the hospital while he is gettin a quick piece of ass.
And now he is sorry.
I don't believe it and probably never will.
Its sad how I justified everything he did so it wasnt a big deal just to cover his ass when all that was happening was me getting deeply hurt in the end.
I personally think I am a good person and whoever knows what I have been through knows I didnt deserve any of it.
Alotta people think I am gona go back to him and that the whole restraining order thing is a joke.
I am afraid myself that I will because I have done it so many times.
Well I havent seen him or heard his voice in like three weeks so I am doing good so far.
Tomorrow I have court.
I HIGHLY DOUBT he will show up though.
Idk...I guess it will be easier that way anyway but his ass will get in alotta trouble if he doesnt.
Watever,not my call.
So guess my first statement "Does it make me seem like a bad person to miss someone who was terrible to you?" should probably be YES.
I realized I cannot spend the rest of my life hating him and asking myself why me.
It just doesnt make sense...love was never suppose to hurt...physically and emotionally.
I need to move on and focus on keeping myself as healthy as I can for as long I am living.
Well what was done was done and I hope for the best for him and I pray I will make it out alive out of all this.
This just shows me that LOVE is not to be taken likely...I was never one to throw that word around anyway but that word is sacred and only so many people will have the chance to experience it a few times in their life.
I have had the opportunity to feel it twice already.
Love isnt cheating and hitting and accusing and misleading and hurtin and watchin the one you love cry all the time.
Idk,its just me.
One day...thats all I gotta say...one day.
Well I haveta to get up early for court tomorrow morning.
Ewwww.
Night Night All.
xoxoxoxo Vee.
ps
Its past 12 so HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHER.<3
Idk.
Its sappy sad,I'm alone music playing time right now for some odd reason.
Its not like I think about him too much anymore but a year and a half is a long time to just forget.
I gives me alot of relief to know that even though I was blamed for everything that I was the one who will never be the blame for why the relationship went down the shithole.
I personally dont even wana be with anyone else now...I am afraid of guys.
I dont want the stress of a relationship right now.
It sucks how I tend to be hostile and uptight to guys now too...I found that out when I was in GA.
I have not been single for like three years so I guess this will be my time to get to know myself again.
It makes me mad how I was blamed for everything he did to me times ten.
I have never cheated or gave him any reason to not be able to trust me and he did it to me.
I was even in the hospital when it happened, how low is that...that I'm dyin in the hospital while he is gettin a quick piece of ass.
And now he is sorry.
I don't believe it and probably never will.
Its sad how I justified everything he did so it wasnt a big deal just to cover his ass when all that was happening was me getting deeply hurt in the end.
I personally think I am a good person and whoever knows what I have been through knows I didnt deserve any of it.
Alotta people think I am gona go back to him and that the whole restraining order thing is a joke.
I am afraid myself that I will because I have done it so many times.
Well I havent seen him or heard his voice in like three weeks so I am doing good so far.
Tomorrow I have court.
I HIGHLY DOUBT he will show up though.
Idk...I guess it will be easier that way anyway but his ass will get in alotta trouble if he doesnt.
Watever,not my call.
So guess my first statement "Does it make me seem like a bad person to miss someone who was terrible to you?" should probably be YES.
I realized I cannot spend the rest of my life hating him and asking myself why me.
It just doesnt make sense...love was never suppose to hurt...physically and emotionally.
I need to move on and focus on keeping myself as healthy as I can for as long I am living.
Well what was done was done and I hope for the best for him and I pray I will make it out alive out of all this.
This just shows me that LOVE is not to be taken likely...I was never one to throw that word around anyway but that word is sacred and only so many people will have the chance to experience it a few times in their life.
I have had the opportunity to feel it twice already.
Love isnt cheating and hitting and accusing and misleading and hurtin and watchin the one you love cry all the time.
Idk,its just me.
One day...thats all I gotta say...one day.
Well I haveta to get up early for court tomorrow morning.
Ewwww.
Night Night All.
xoxoxoxo Vee.
ps
Its past 12 so HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHER.<3