Dear Bullwinkle Jackson: If you die, I will kill you.

[llamamomma]

I think my Bullwinkle fish is sick. I noticed tonight that he has some black spots on his back and the tips of his fins are kind of black. He's been acting a little bit weird lately, but not as weird as Judy was before she croaked so I didn't think much of it. But I cleaned out his tank tonight and took a good look at him, and I started to get kind of worried. I called Petco, but they had just closed. So I had to resort to Wal-mart. The guy on the phone tried to convince me that my fish probably just randomly decided to change colors after an entire year of being orange. I didn't believe him, so he recommended this stuff I can put in the water that will take care of just about any sickness that can be cured. So I drove all the way out to the Wal-mart superstore to get it, and they were out. And the guy was an even bigger ass in person and tried again to convince me that he's just changing colors. I still remained skeptical, and tried another Wal-mart where success was mine. On the label of the bottle it says "Warning: certain ingredients have been known to cause cancer in California." Yeah, ok. So I put it in the tank and got it all over my fingers (which are now dyed blue), but I guess I don't have to worry about getting cancer because I'm not in California. Lucky me. If Bullwinkle dies, I'll be severely crushed. I still want to get another fish, but now I have to wait until Bullwinkle is better. Unless I'm crazy and he really is changing colors. Maybe he's trying to pull a reverse Michael Jackson on me. We'll see.

If anyone wishes to donate any money or hugs to the "If Erin's goldfish dies, she will be supremely sad and need money and hugs" fund, come over.