Heavy Rotation
So, last weekend was the weekend of field trips. Ryden was supposed to come visit and didn't, so I was sad, and instead on Saturday, Natalie and I drove up to the foothills of the Adirondacks and took pictures and saw a deer. And then Sunday she, Mikael, Lucius and I went to Palmyra, which, for those of you who don't know (like anyone would know this), is this town an hour from us where Joseph Smith was born, received the Book of Mormon, etc. Hill Cumorah, the hill where he received the Book of Mormon, and a few of his houses are all open to the public, and we decided to go check them out. On the way there, Mikael asked, "What should we do if they try to convert us?" and I said, haha. Well.
We walked into the visitors center at Hill Cumorah and met our tour guide, Sister Huff. She showed us this little kiosk of information about the different sites in the area, and then said, "Let me show you our meditation room." We said, okay. At that, Sister Huff ushers us into a room with, I kid you not, a twenty foot statue of Jesus. And this is cut-and-hunky Jesus. While I was gaping at this giant thing, Sister Huff closes one door, and then closes the other, and at that Lucius shot me this panicked look, and I thought, oh shit, because, I don't know, maybe this is unfair, but I seriously thought we were about to get reprogrammed.
That didn't happen. I'm still Alice, not some sort of Alice android. I realized after this trip that I tend to get a lot of aspects of Mormonism and Scientology mixed up, and that really isn't fair because, although Mormons are a little loopy in their own right, in my humble opinion, Scientologists are kind of off the scale of loopiness. So no, we didn't get reprogrammed. What did happen, though, was just really awkward. Sister Huff played us his recording of a reading from the Book of Mormon. While this happened, I was trying not to stare at the Jesus statue, but there was really no other option. And when it was over, she asked us, "What was your favorite part?" We all stared at her blankly, because none of us had been paying attention. And then, after she threw us a bone and told us about her favorite part, she asked us all, "What's your personal relationship with Jesus Christ?"
There was silence. After a minute or so, I started to feel guilty, because I suggested we come without realizing it was going to be so hardcore, so I said, oh, you know, I was raised in the church but I don't really practice, still, I think it's important to have faith. Only I was sitting underneath this dome, so everything I said echoed back - "I think it's important to have faith faith faith" - with this tinny sound, like toy microphones I had when I was a kid. Sister Duff got really excited and told us about how Jesus is always there for us. Then Mikael asked her how long she'd been at Palmyra and what she wanted to do when she was done, and when she said she wanted to finish school and get married, he asked, "Do you have anyone special in mind?" We were making fun of him for that for the rest of the day. To be fair, she was way hot.
We also went to Joseph Smith's birthplace, and one of his later homes, about three miles down the road, but that was less...dramatic. Next up: the Shakers! In the spirit of exploring, Elizabeth and I also tried out this vegan restaurant today before we taught the middle school class, but it was pretty bland. Surprise. Also, I guess the middle schoolers are sort of an adventure in and of themselves sometimes. I tried to teach a lesson on "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird," but they got a little stuck on the whole concept of a metaphor. Plus, none of them knew was "innuendos" were. I tried to give them an example, but all I could think of were penis jokes.
We walked into the visitors center at Hill Cumorah and met our tour guide, Sister Huff. She showed us this little kiosk of information about the different sites in the area, and then said, "Let me show you our meditation room." We said, okay. At that, Sister Huff ushers us into a room with, I kid you not, a twenty foot statue of Jesus. And this is cut-and-hunky Jesus. While I was gaping at this giant thing, Sister Huff closes one door, and then closes the other, and at that Lucius shot me this panicked look, and I thought, oh shit, because, I don't know, maybe this is unfair, but I seriously thought we were about to get reprogrammed.
That didn't happen. I'm still Alice, not some sort of Alice android. I realized after this trip that I tend to get a lot of aspects of Mormonism and Scientology mixed up, and that really isn't fair because, although Mormons are a little loopy in their own right, in my humble opinion, Scientologists are kind of off the scale of loopiness. So no, we didn't get reprogrammed. What did happen, though, was just really awkward. Sister Huff played us his recording of a reading from the Book of Mormon. While this happened, I was trying not to stare at the Jesus statue, but there was really no other option. And when it was over, she asked us, "What was your favorite part?" We all stared at her blankly, because none of us had been paying attention. And then, after she threw us a bone and told us about her favorite part, she asked us all, "What's your personal relationship with Jesus Christ?"
There was silence. After a minute or so, I started to feel guilty, because I suggested we come without realizing it was going to be so hardcore, so I said, oh, you know, I was raised in the church but I don't really practice, still, I think it's important to have faith. Only I was sitting underneath this dome, so everything I said echoed back - "I think it's important to have faith faith faith" - with this tinny sound, like toy microphones I had when I was a kid. Sister Duff got really excited and told us about how Jesus is always there for us. Then Mikael asked her how long she'd been at Palmyra and what she wanted to do when she was done, and when she said she wanted to finish school and get married, he asked, "Do you have anyone special in mind?" We were making fun of him for that for the rest of the day. To be fair, she was way hot.
We also went to Joseph Smith's birthplace, and one of his later homes, about three miles down the road, but that was less...dramatic. Next up: the Shakers! In the spirit of exploring, Elizabeth and I also tried out this vegan restaurant today before we taught the middle school class, but it was pretty bland. Surprise. Also, I guess the middle schoolers are sort of an adventure in and of themselves sometimes. I tried to teach a lesson on "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird," but they got a little stuck on the whole concept of a metaphor. Plus, none of them knew was "innuendos" were. I tried to give them an example, but all I could think of were penis jokes.