Resources
I've come to realize that as one progresses toward more maturity in life, they have a more limited amount of resources.. or perhaps it is that they only realize it, because they see more clearly.
I have a dear friend, who has a heart as big as all out doors. She also has a control issue with everyone in her life. She seems to have the need to tell persons she interacts with how they should do things. Ok, so we have all received unsolicited advice in our lives. No problem generally. In this situation, the friend gets extremely bent out of shape, hurt and disappointed and in some cases angry, because her directions were not heeded. I"ve tried, gently and less gently to let her know that her own life is the only one she has control of. She can make suggestions but ultimately the choices a person makes are their own, not those of anyone else.
Now, I can deal with the unrequested advice on how I should handle everything in my life. She turns toward me for reassurance, to vent, etc when someone "disappoints her again" or doesn't do what they were "told". That is what I'm having a hard time with, because I do not have spare inner "resources" to give to this person right now. She is a dear person, but is so wrapped up in perpetual drama of her own making that to be around her is just draining.
She will email me 5 or more times a day. Lately she has begun to call about 5 minutes after she "expects" that I am home from work. I've tried a couple times talking to her about this. Now... well now, sadly, I'm just not answering at times, if I do not feel like talking and sometimes when I do talk to her, I am pretty point blank.
Ok, gotten that off my chest.. Rant mode "OFF".
I'm ready for some sunshine in my life. (no pun intended here. LOL) I'm trying to focus on me.. No, not taking "selfish biatch" lessons or anything, just trying to stop giving away so much of myself that I haven't any me left for me, as is my tendency to do. Relationship.. well.. to put it in my Gran's words.. Feels like I'm pouring soapsuds down a rat hole. But.. I'm not a quitter and I am still trying. I will reach the point where I can't and won't try any more.
Speaking of Gran.. Monday would have been her 90th birthday. I miss her every day that goes by. My partner's co-worker gave birth to a little girl that day, by choice. She was scheduled to have a Cesarean section, and chose that day. I sort of found that to be a bit of comfort. Guess missing Gran and all else that is rattling around in this cranium is why I'm so introspective and battling the "mullygrubs".
Ok, enough gloom and doom.. good thing... I'm going to get to see my son, daughter and law and granddaughter.. well. sort of get to see my Granddaughter. She's not made her entrance into the world yet. She's got about 2 months to go. Already this little soul is cherished and she enriches my soul. Ana Liu is to be her name. That's the first time I've seen it in print. I still really like it. I helped choose.
Ok, time to focus and do that which must be done.. Nos da!
I have a dear friend, who has a heart as big as all out doors. She also has a control issue with everyone in her life. She seems to have the need to tell persons she interacts with how they should do things. Ok, so we have all received unsolicited advice in our lives. No problem generally. In this situation, the friend gets extremely bent out of shape, hurt and disappointed and in some cases angry, because her directions were not heeded. I"ve tried, gently and less gently to let her know that her own life is the only one she has control of. She can make suggestions but ultimately the choices a person makes are their own, not those of anyone else.
Now, I can deal with the unrequested advice on how I should handle everything in my life. She turns toward me for reassurance, to vent, etc when someone "disappoints her again" or doesn't do what they were "told". That is what I'm having a hard time with, because I do not have spare inner "resources" to give to this person right now. She is a dear person, but is so wrapped up in perpetual drama of her own making that to be around her is just draining.
She will email me 5 or more times a day. Lately she has begun to call about 5 minutes after she "expects" that I am home from work. I've tried a couple times talking to her about this. Now... well now, sadly, I'm just not answering at times, if I do not feel like talking and sometimes when I do talk to her, I am pretty point blank.
Ok, gotten that off my chest.. Rant mode "OFF".
I'm ready for some sunshine in my life. (no pun intended here. LOL) I'm trying to focus on me.. No, not taking "selfish biatch" lessons or anything, just trying to stop giving away so much of myself that I haven't any me left for me, as is my tendency to do. Relationship.. well.. to put it in my Gran's words.. Feels like I'm pouring soapsuds down a rat hole. But.. I'm not a quitter and I am still trying. I will reach the point where I can't and won't try any more.
Speaking of Gran.. Monday would have been her 90th birthday. I miss her every day that goes by. My partner's co-worker gave birth to a little girl that day, by choice. She was scheduled to have a Cesarean section, and chose that day. I sort of found that to be a bit of comfort. Guess missing Gran and all else that is rattling around in this cranium is why I'm so introspective and battling the "mullygrubs".
Ok, enough gloom and doom.. good thing... I'm going to get to see my son, daughter and law and granddaughter.. well. sort of get to see my Granddaughter. She's not made her entrance into the world yet. She's got about 2 months to go. Already this little soul is cherished and she enriches my soul. Ana Liu is to be her name. That's the first time I've seen it in print. I still really like it. I helped choose.
Ok, time to focus and do that which must be done.. Nos da!