Regrets and Journeys

Jul 06, 2011 01:56

Title: Regrets and Journeys
Author: Llama1412
Universe: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Characters: Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper
Disclaimer: Characters from the Doctor Who Universe do not belong to me.
Author's Note: Apparently I somehow forgot to post this. Part of my Eleven/Jack 'verse that started with Flight and Capture.
Summary: Set at the end of Children of Earth. The planet was too small for him now, but he wasn't the Doctor. He wouldn't leave without a goodbye.

As Jack stared down at the remains of what had once been his home, he decided that he had had enough. He'd been on this planet longer than he'd ever lingered anywhere else and look what he'd gotten for it. Everywhere he went, death seemed to follow. His lovers, his friends, his children, his grandchildren...no one around him was safe anymore.

He closed his eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't shaking, wasn't about to cry. Goddammit, he'd been through all of this before. This was hardly the first time he'd lost someone, even by his own hand.

...it was the first time it had mattered so much, though.

Because he'd really thought they were safe now. He'd kept his distance for so long, tried so hard to shield them from his life. He'd finally settled down and hoped that he could love without repercussions.

God, how could he have been so stupid? So many people had died because he thought he had the right to love someone, to trust them to be there, to live the domestic life.

Never again. He'd learned his lesson.

But he wasn't the Doctor. He wouldn't just leave without a word. Gwen had been through a lot as well and had stayed strong by his side. She deserved so much more than he could give her, but he could at least give her a goodbye.

And then he would leave. It didn't matter how. In the last century, there'd been enough space traffic in the area (undetectable by NASA and the like, but not by Torchwood). He was sure he could bargain for a lift.

And no, it wouldn't be the way he'd always dreamed of leaving, in that little blue box with the most amazing man he'd ever met. But then, nothing was going like he'd dreamed it would, was it?

It didn't matter, anyway. He'd probably never see the TARDIS again. And even if he did...what was the point? The Doctor could hardly stand to look at him and the TARDIS might've warmed to him now, but that didn't mean she could get over what he was. Besides, his key was gone. Bombs in the gut tended to have that effect. There was no reason to believe that the Doctor would ever give him another key. Hell, he was rather surprised he'd gotten to keep the old one, considering.

But it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

He turned from the wreckage and walked away.

--

Their goodbye was harder than he'd thought it would be. After so long, he'd thought he'd be used to saying goodbye to people he loved. But then, he usually hadn't gotten a choice, hadn't had time for the build up.

It was brilliant seeing her again, though. Gwen was beautiful and strong and she'd be able to survive this world. Not like him. This planet was too small for him now, suffocating. But knowing Gwen would be here, still defending the planet, still living her life and loving with that big heart of hers... that made his decision to leave easier to deal with.

She'd recovered his Vortex Manipulator and even refurnished it with a strap. But she had a surprise for him.

He stared in disbelief at the small speck of metal resting in her hands. "I found it in the wreckage. Just as durable as your wristband, apparently." Her breath caught in a sob. "I know it was important to you, so I put it on a necklace, that way you won't lose it again."

Jack reached out to touch the key with trembling fingertips. "It survived. I can't believe..." he swallowed. "Thank you."

She smiled, a tear falling down her cheek. "Will you ever come back?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

When he transported off of the planet, the last thing he saw was Gwen, pregnant and cradled in her husband's arms. All in all, it wasn't the worst thing he could have to remember this planet by.

doctor who, eleven/jack 'verse, torchwood, episode tag

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