(Untitled)

[lksncks]

so practice sucked, i fought my worst ever. dissappointed / releived that katrina didnt show, amused to watch as ashely is in the state i was in like a week ago still fighting for her life to bring mike back and i hope he does but more likey hes gone for good to another person as well

Comments

friendship

[blake2283]

You know it as I do to hope Ashley and Mike get back together. Since I still don't know much about Mike and his thought patterns, I don't know the entire situation (probably best I didn't.... less of a headache) but you and I hope they would continue to be together and be happy. You are doing what you can for Ashley to get Mike back, but the only person now to make it happen is Mike. Nothing is hopeless. There is always hope! If I can get over Ilene and move on with my life, so can you and Ashley. All it takes is time. As for your skills as a fighter, I wouldn't care who I fought no matter how many times I've lost against him/her. I go fight to have fun whether I win or lose. It doesn't matter. It's just a game and will not be taken seriously by me. I'm in the ECS to have fun and not ever turn it into reality or something serious like other members do. I honestly don't think I'm cut out to be hospitaller of Solaris or ever again. I'm best to be some sort of equipment carrier or ministry person because I like the idea of being prepared for just about everything. Yes, your focus was obviously not at practice last night especially when it should. As for you getting back with whoever, I honestly think it is best you shouldn't. I do believe you need more time to heal and focus on taking care of yourself. If you have no other option, get a job in grociery retail. It is a low paying job, but it's better than nothing. When we were at the 5'n Diner, I sensed something was wrong when I saw Ashley across the table. She tried to block or hide it fom me. Go ahead and hide it from me. I care about her too as a friend. I don't see you, Ashley or anyone else all that much during the week and i ask it would get changed somehow. Ashley needs time to heal and so do you. If there's no chance for her to get back with Mike, I suggest for her (as well as for you too) to not get yourselves in another relationship. You two need time off from relationships, and I'm thinking from weeks to possibly months. Getting in one relationship after breaking up in another will only makes life worse for you two and for everyone. I see no reason to be in a relationship at this time. I feel no motivation for it.

Re: friendship

[lksncks]

no blake there are situations without hope. and franky mine is one. i am condememed by myself to sit and wait for a dream that will not come to me for a hope that i failed to be faithful to more than once and its cost me everything. my love my dignity my friends well a few of them anyway my pride and my confidice in my self and my moral bering. i have thrown so much away in the pursuit of a nameless goal bucause i keep trying to put a name on the objective of my life and it falls apart. and when i am left with hope of my dream i cant give up i cant give in and its brutal. your life ticks on and on and on without purpose without drive its maddening to watch hours go by and wonder why you continue to sit but yet you remain hoping the phone in your pocket will ring and they will be on the other end of the line
jt was right i do try to be the white knight and save lots of people i really thought i found some one to save me...