(no subject)
Just got home not too long ago from a party.. it was quite fun. Happy sweet 16 Kelly!..
Too bad all I thought about was him. I'm trying to be so strong like everyone wants me to be.. but there are times like this that I wonder if he ever thinks of me.. well I know the answer to that ..but it don't hurt TOO bad to wonder rite. I love my friends to death n I don't know how I could make it w/ o them. I felt bad for getting mad at Rach today when she said she doesn't want me to ever call him again n try to talk to him..n I just told her "y don't u want me to be happy?".. n then again.. things are too late now..I've found out too much..n things will never be the same even if we could erase the bad memories. I can't stand to let myself have someone's left over..especially when I know his heart lies somewhere else.. Things have also changed..I guess what I miss the most was the person I thought I knew from the beginning...no matter how fake it was. I hate time.. time can change people. Sometimes i think of Kevin.. not in that way.. just by how similar I felt about Kevin to how I feel last nite.. but I rememberd Randy was there to comfort me..there was one other person but at least I know Randy truly cared about me. I wish Randy was here with me to be my friend again.
Tomorrow is my 8k race.. wish me luck cuz I will need it.
So Ivan is the weirdest kid over.. he wants me to think of him to go to bed so I can fall asleep n repeat his name over n over again..hm weird..