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My schedule for first semester-
1st- Intro to Media- Schram
2nd- Adv. Biology - King
3rd- Physics - Jasionowicz
4th- A.P. Goverment - Cardew
5th- TV Production - Wooley
6th- Art Fundamentals - Squires
My 3 hrs of being in the car alone to me cleared up a lot of stuff for me. I'm not doing any better..but everything seems to connect n I'm beginning to understand more things. I guess for me relationships never last, it never ends in a good way, every promise will be an empty one, there's no such thing as love, nothing is "I'l do anything for you", " I will be there for you no matter what", "I'll always fite for you" will come to an end when u are replaced... in the end everything comes to waste, good moments were all fake , n my greatest lesson is to always save urself up to someone who truely cares you n will marry you. When they say they care about you, really all they want is to get what they want n they will get rid of you when they get what they want. Don't ever give ur heart to someone b/c no matter how much you love a person.. they will never love you as much. Don't set any expectations so you won't be dissapointed. When they are in their moments they say they love you but when they turn their back.. they can be colder than anything. When you feel like it is your last moments of wanting to live.. guess what.. they won't care..they will turn their back on you to be with another girla nd they'll tell you straight up to your face that they are glad they are crushing you. They tell you you're cold but they are capable of being much colder than you thought. When you say everything is worth it..u can mean it from the bottom of ur heart.. but they surely don't think same. Yup. That's what i figured in my 3 hrs in the came to Detroit today..when i came to see him one last time just to ask y the sudden change in heart. Another lesson I llearned for my self.. don't fall in love.. n good things will never come to me. The saddest part is that I know I'll NEVER be able to forget him.. I just have to learn my lessons in a hard way.. n wish for him the best with his girl, his kid, his family n his future. Too bad I'm not the one to grow old with him n be by his side. The last thing I could is to stop bothering him with his life..apparently he moved on n I should I should to.
Plans for today- make it through practice, find something for a friend, stop friend's b day party, go to Adam or his friend's party, might hang out with Jarvelle n Rach. Wanted to see Corey but he had to leave to go out of town. Waiting for Eric to call me now.
All i want to do is just to wake up from this horrible dream.
Talked to Randy today.. apoligized for everything i have done..it just takes time i guess.
Tomorrow- the CRIM.