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Blogflog: Am I A Cougar?
Sorry for the lacklustre 'flog: I'm in a wee bit of a rush, so I may edit some things in later.
Link: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/08/am-i-cougar.html
You know, with LKH, a title like that could mean so many things. Maybe she was trying to find her spirit guide, or her inner lycanthrope. Alas, not.
I had heard the word cougar for an older woman who dated younger men, but I thought it meant in a predatory sort of way. An older woman who dated younger men in a casual, and potentially hurtful manner. I learned last night at the party that it's now referring to any older woman who dates exclusively younger men.
I love how she makes it sound like some mysterious term. I get that Sex in the City is too "mainstream" or whatever for her to follow, but "cougar" is fairly common as a term now.
And "exclusively younger men"? That would mean the men would be exclusively young, yes? That they never get old? So… she wants to date Peter Pan? Well, that explains a lot.
But I found that the men in my age range had the same problems with me that we'd all had in college. I was too dominant, too interested in my own career, and, strangely, too successful.
I don't think it's so much "too interested in [her] own career" as much as "too interested in herself". I wouldn’t want to date someone as self-centred as she is either.
I mean if I was a firefighter, you wouldn't expect me to be an arsonist in my spare time.
Hey, that happens. Who better to know how to get away with arson than someone who makes a living investigating arson?
Men in my age bracket were still suffering under the delusion that once you're down a man, you NEED one.
Again with the sexism. She likes to slam people into these narrow little roles. "Women don't [x]". "All men [y]." I know it makes conversing easier, because if you are truly politically correct, it feels like it takes 10 minutes to say hello, but for someone who prides herself on making unique characters, her stereotypes are a few decades out of date. I know plenty of men (of varying ages) who are open-minded, awesome, and actively seek out women who are "independent", for lack of a better term. Yes, there are generational attitudes, but they certainly aren't one-age-fits-all. Maybe she didn't luck out and find the "right" men her age, but to say that all the men in her age bracket were suffering under the same delusion is hardly fair.
And "down a man" just makes me think of shopping for your significant other at a grocery store or something. "Oh, gosh, I'm almost out of boyfriend! I better stop by Wal-Mart on the way home from work tonight. Maybe I'll try that new [whatever] model I saw on TV!"
To keep you from makng some horrible mistake, modern technology takes the edge off guys, get a grip on your creepy selves.
I confess, I don't exactly know what she was going for here. Was she championing online dating? (Which is fine.) Was she saying that the Internet has made men more open-minded?
So, I guess, by definition, since I only successfuly dated men that much younger than myself after my divorce, and married a man who is twelve years younger than me; that yes, I am a cougar. Meow.
Punctuation abuse aside, I have to cringe at the cougar/"meow". Cougars may have a roar of sorts, but I'm pretty sure it's only the young cougars that have an equivalent to a meow. Any strength she found in being a cougar seems rather diminished by a 'meow'.
Link: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/08/am-i-cougar.html
You know, with LKH, a title like that could mean so many things. Maybe she was trying to find her spirit guide, or her inner lycanthrope. Alas, not.
I had heard the word cougar for an older woman who dated younger men, but I thought it meant in a predatory sort of way. An older woman who dated younger men in a casual, and potentially hurtful manner. I learned last night at the party that it's now referring to any older woman who dates exclusively younger men.
I love how she makes it sound like some mysterious term. I get that Sex in the City is too "mainstream" or whatever for her to follow, but "cougar" is fairly common as a term now.
And "exclusively younger men"? That would mean the men would be exclusively young, yes? That they never get old? So… she wants to date Peter Pan? Well, that explains a lot.
But I found that the men in my age range had the same problems with me that we'd all had in college. I was too dominant, too interested in my own career, and, strangely, too successful.
I don't think it's so much "too interested in [her] own career" as much as "too interested in herself". I wouldn’t want to date someone as self-centred as she is either.
I mean if I was a firefighter, you wouldn't expect me to be an arsonist in my spare time.
Hey, that happens. Who better to know how to get away with arson than someone who makes a living investigating arson?
Men in my age bracket were still suffering under the delusion that once you're down a man, you NEED one.
Again with the sexism. She likes to slam people into these narrow little roles. "Women don't [x]". "All men [y]." I know it makes conversing easier, because if you are truly politically correct, it feels like it takes 10 minutes to say hello, but for someone who prides herself on making unique characters, her stereotypes are a few decades out of date. I know plenty of men (of varying ages) who are open-minded, awesome, and actively seek out women who are "independent", for lack of a better term. Yes, there are generational attitudes, but they certainly aren't one-age-fits-all. Maybe she didn't luck out and find the "right" men her age, but to say that all the men in her age bracket were suffering under the same delusion is hardly fair.
And "down a man" just makes me think of shopping for your significant other at a grocery store or something. "Oh, gosh, I'm almost out of boyfriend! I better stop by Wal-Mart on the way home from work tonight. Maybe I'll try that new [whatever] model I saw on TV!"
To keep you from makng some horrible mistake, modern technology takes the edge off guys, get a grip on your creepy selves.
I confess, I don't exactly know what she was going for here. Was she championing online dating? (Which is fine.) Was she saying that the Internet has made men more open-minded?
So, I guess, by definition, since I only successfuly dated men that much younger than myself after my divorce, and married a man who is twelve years younger than me; that yes, I am a cougar. Meow.
Punctuation abuse aside, I have to cringe at the cougar/"meow". Cougars may have a roar of sorts, but I'm pretty sure it's only the young cougars that have an equivalent to a meow. Any strength she found in being a cougar seems rather diminished by a 'meow'.