(no subject)
So last night I'm heading home from strrphkrr's flat when I decide to take out some cash to pay my rent with. For whatever reason, when I use my visa check card for large amounts my bank pays off the purchase, then holds the same amount of funds for three days. Ridiculous, I know, but I've been assured several times that "there's nothing we can do, Laura."
Which reminds me, I don't know if either of you have ever worked in retail, but often you're advised to address a person paying by credit card by their first name.
"Thank you, Susan. We hope you come back and shop here again and Bed, Bath and Beyond" with a big uncomfortable grin (inside joke).
I could never do this, because I always felt it was more than a little presumptuous to just call someone you don't know by their first name. I helped you pick out towels and Yip-Yaps, now we're old friends? Not likely.
Similarly, I do not like being scolded in the familiar by some asshole working the phones at my bank. Not that I like being scolded at all, but there's just something about the 'your-money-is-in-my-hands-I-make-7-bucks-an-hour-but-I-wear-a-suit-to-work-there's-nothing-I-can-do-for-you'attitude that really irks me. Especially when they tell me something completely asinine (and contrary to what they told me when i was depositing my money) and say something to the effect of "Well, just calm down, Laura."
There's just something about that that makes me the exact opposite of calm.
I seem to have wandered off the story a bit.
So, yes. After a few hours of rocking out to STP, Dre and SWV and driving over cops in San Andreas I was heading back to Paddington from Whitechapel in a pretty good mood. Tired, but good. So I saunter up to Natty West (the most evil institution in all of England) and put in my card to get out my 200 quid.
Counting Money it tells me with a familiar spinning noise.
The spinning noise continues for longer than usual.
Finally, the screen says "transaction cancelled" and kicks back to the welcome screen.
All before it has given me back my card.
Thats right people, the fucking thing ate my ATM card. My American ATM card, which, at this point I am imagining, will not be the easiest thing to replace.
So, I immediately call the number on the ATM where I am, of course, informed that there "is nothing I can do" and that my card will be immediately destroyed. She offers no explaination as to why this might have happened, nor seems particularly shocked that it has. Apparently, NatWest ATMs just randomly eat cards then? (Beware lamusemalade)
Okay, so you might be thinking, how bad can this be, right?
Well, I have a nonrefundable ticket to Paris leaving at 7am Wednesday London time. I have no Euros, no way of accessing cash or my checking account. I have a small amount of cash in British pounds here, but if I were to exchange it, I would have nothing to, you know, EAT with upon my return Monday morning.
None of this seems to have an effect on the woman on the phone, who insists that despite my desperate pleas, upon opening the bank branch will cut my card, so important to me, into little tiny pieces and throw it away. This is the very same branch that has neglected to send me a check card for the account I hold with them, so using that in Paris is out of the question as well.
So, in tears, I call my bank. I hysterically explain the situation and how I am leaving the UK to France, which uses an entirely different currency and oh please God, can she help me?
"Alright Laura, who is Carl"
*sob sob* "my father"
"Okay, he can come into a branch and pick up a new card for you."
So I'm thinking, okay, not so bad, he can FedEx the card to Jean-Baptiste's place and I will only be a few days without money. Not a great scenario but I will take it.
But then.
"Oh, Laura? I'm sorry, I was mistaken, we cannot do that at all."
She then suggests that I go online, transfer money from my checking to my Visa card, then use that to obtain cash as a cash advance. Again, kind of shitty considering the ass-raping in fees I would get, but, whatever.
But of course, there's a problem. Upon receipt of this Visa card, about five years ago, I was issued a PIN which I no longer remember, because NO ONE uses a Visa card to obtain cash, because of the aforementioned ass-raping. I inform her of this, to which she replies, rather dramatically:
"Well, then Laura. It is out of our hands."
She then tells me that the bank will not issue me a replacement check card unless I am physically present in a bank branch.
It is about this time that I begin to swear a blue streak at this woman. Something about how their fucking bank will take my fucking money and tell me everything will be fine should anything happen during my fucking stay abroad, yet everytime I have a problem some dipshit says they cant help me and how is this a fucking way to run a business, you know, something like that. I demand that she replaces my check card. And tell her that once I am able, all of the money me and my entire family has will be withdrawn from SDCCU accounts, all because of her ineptitude.
All the while i am crying an absolute fit, of course.
She goes and talks to her supervisor (with whom she refused to let me speak, by the way) and then says to me:
"we can mail a new check card to the address we have on file, but we cannot advise you further as to what to do with it once it is received."
Me: "ALRIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?"
Her: "We cannot advise you on your check card"
"is it going to be a replacement check card?"
"yes"
"when swiped, it will deduct funds from my checking account?"
"yes"
"and when inserted into an ATM, it will link with my checking account for the purpose of obtaining cash?"
'yes'
"earlier, were you just basically saying that its not your fault if my parents steal my money or if the card gets lost in the mail?"
"Exactly."
"THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU JUST SAY THAT???"
"okay, we can send this card out in 2 to 3 business days."
Despite my anger knowing that it takes thirty seconds to imprint a new card, I let it go. Tell her to mail the card and that's that. So basically, I have to live off my 300 dollar limit visa card until I manage to get the card here in the UK. With absolutely no cash access. I can buy a purse, get online, pay it off, then do it again. Hahahahahahah how sad am I? So I get to show up in France, just as the election results come in, broke as a joke.
Which reminds me, I don't know if either of you have ever worked in retail, but often you're advised to address a person paying by credit card by their first name.
"Thank you, Susan. We hope you come back and shop here again and Bed, Bath and Beyond" with a big uncomfortable grin (inside joke).
I could never do this, because I always felt it was more than a little presumptuous to just call someone you don't know by their first name. I helped you pick out towels and Yip-Yaps, now we're old friends? Not likely.
Similarly, I do not like being scolded in the familiar by some asshole working the phones at my bank. Not that I like being scolded at all, but there's just something about the 'your-money-is-in-my-hands-I-make-7-bucks-an-hour-but-I-wear-a-suit-to-work-there's-nothing-I-can-do-for-you'attitude that really irks me. Especially when they tell me something completely asinine (and contrary to what they told me when i was depositing my money) and say something to the effect of "Well, just calm down, Laura."
There's just something about that that makes me the exact opposite of calm.
I seem to have wandered off the story a bit.
So, yes. After a few hours of rocking out to STP, Dre and SWV and driving over cops in San Andreas I was heading back to Paddington from Whitechapel in a pretty good mood. Tired, but good. So I saunter up to Natty West (the most evil institution in all of England) and put in my card to get out my 200 quid.
Counting Money it tells me with a familiar spinning noise.
The spinning noise continues for longer than usual.
Finally, the screen says "transaction cancelled" and kicks back to the welcome screen.
All before it has given me back my card.
Thats right people, the fucking thing ate my ATM card. My American ATM card, which, at this point I am imagining, will not be the easiest thing to replace.
So, I immediately call the number on the ATM where I am, of course, informed that there "is nothing I can do" and that my card will be immediately destroyed. She offers no explaination as to why this might have happened, nor seems particularly shocked that it has. Apparently, NatWest ATMs just randomly eat cards then? (Beware lamusemalade)
Okay, so you might be thinking, how bad can this be, right?
Well, I have a nonrefundable ticket to Paris leaving at 7am Wednesday London time. I have no Euros, no way of accessing cash or my checking account. I have a small amount of cash in British pounds here, but if I were to exchange it, I would have nothing to, you know, EAT with upon my return Monday morning.
None of this seems to have an effect on the woman on the phone, who insists that despite my desperate pleas, upon opening the bank branch will cut my card, so important to me, into little tiny pieces and throw it away. This is the very same branch that has neglected to send me a check card for the account I hold with them, so using that in Paris is out of the question as well.
So, in tears, I call my bank. I hysterically explain the situation and how I am leaving the UK to France, which uses an entirely different currency and oh please God, can she help me?
"Alright Laura, who is Carl"
*sob sob* "my father"
"Okay, he can come into a branch and pick up a new card for you."
So I'm thinking, okay, not so bad, he can FedEx the card to Jean-Baptiste's place and I will only be a few days without money. Not a great scenario but I will take it.
But then.
"Oh, Laura? I'm sorry, I was mistaken, we cannot do that at all."
She then suggests that I go online, transfer money from my checking to my Visa card, then use that to obtain cash as a cash advance. Again, kind of shitty considering the ass-raping in fees I would get, but, whatever.
But of course, there's a problem. Upon receipt of this Visa card, about five years ago, I was issued a PIN which I no longer remember, because NO ONE uses a Visa card to obtain cash, because of the aforementioned ass-raping. I inform her of this, to which she replies, rather dramatically:
"Well, then Laura. It is out of our hands."
She then tells me that the bank will not issue me a replacement check card unless I am physically present in a bank branch.
It is about this time that I begin to swear a blue streak at this woman. Something about how their fucking bank will take my fucking money and tell me everything will be fine should anything happen during my fucking stay abroad, yet everytime I have a problem some dipshit says they cant help me and how is this a fucking way to run a business, you know, something like that. I demand that she replaces my check card. And tell her that once I am able, all of the money me and my entire family has will be withdrawn from SDCCU accounts, all because of her ineptitude.
All the while i am crying an absolute fit, of course.
She goes and talks to her supervisor (with whom she refused to let me speak, by the way) and then says to me:
"we can mail a new check card to the address we have on file, but we cannot advise you further as to what to do with it once it is received."
Me: "ALRIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?"
Her: "We cannot advise you on your check card"
"is it going to be a replacement check card?"
"yes"
"when swiped, it will deduct funds from my checking account?"
"yes"
"and when inserted into an ATM, it will link with my checking account for the purpose of obtaining cash?"
'yes'
"earlier, were you just basically saying that its not your fault if my parents steal my money or if the card gets lost in the mail?"
"Exactly."
"THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU JUST SAY THAT???"
"okay, we can send this card out in 2 to 3 business days."
Despite my anger knowing that it takes thirty seconds to imprint a new card, I let it go. Tell her to mail the card and that's that. So basically, I have to live off my 300 dollar limit visa card until I manage to get the card here in the UK. With absolutely no cash access. I can buy a purse, get online, pay it off, then do it again. Hahahahahahah how sad am I? So I get to show up in France, just as the election results come in, broke as a joke.