(no subject)
there are so many things that make perfect sense.
how i've always said how God plan for me is a spiderweb of twists and turns. each path has a different purpose, and would play a different role.
and its so true.
the talk last night still breaks my heart, the potential between the two of us is amazing, but knowing that timing is key.
for 9 months i can look back and not remember what i thought, felt...what conclusions i came to and how i came to them.
i shouldnt have been in a relationship. because i was so unstable.
which is why my best friend and someone who was so much more, was never treated like i know im capable.
i look at now.
how if i hadnt ended it how i wouldnt be here.
i think so much about linzey.. how my life here has fufilled me for the first time in my life.
how this is where i need to be. this is my family and my home.
i think about the first round of appeals and how it killed me not to be there. and how thankful i am to be by her side through this.
i have clarity in my life. which is why i know this is where im supposed to be.
i suppose that why i feel im ready to get into a relationship. everything else is clear. nothing has ever made as much sense.
i have no idea what to do about school. about finances. but im not stressed.
i have hope and peace.
God had a plan for me. and it was to be here. and nothing made else made sense.
" God knew what he was doing from the very begininng. he decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his son. we see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him.."
romans 8:29
im furthest from my sanity when im furthest from my lord.
i was called to love. and to serve.
its funny how when im giving to others i feel most at peace and happy.