You wouldn't like me if you met me.

[ljviggo]

I can't say I really want to talk about what happened. He's gone now, and that's all I have to say about that. I can't even explain it right now, because that would entail actually thinking about it rather than blotting it out like I've been doing since he left. I've become an expert at not thinking about this whole thing

Comments

[sara_quin]

Music, subject. ;_; I could take this opportunity to say thanks for making So Jealous your heartbreak record, but instead I'll just say... at least I know I could get you to pick up the phone. That, or maybe you'd call over here.

But listen, escaping from reality and shutting yourself off from it are two very different things. Not that I need to tell you that, and I say that more out of concern than to lecture you. Not that I could lecture you, look at our difference in age here. But then again I guess age and experience don't always share a direct partnership. I just mean...take care of yourself. First rule of any relationship, and I think the break up is part of it. Not that knowing the rules makes things any easier, either.

Typically, I'd do like I do and fly out there to check up on you for a few days. You know, maybe fold your laundry or something since I know that wouldn't be at the top of my list either. But, we're touring: Montreal for a few days and then what we have lined up next is a bunch of east coast U.S dates... who knows what might get plugged into the middle of it between now and then.

In any case, the point is that you're welcome to whatever you can handle. Phone calls, a little visiting time... hey, a show if you can make it out to one. I wish that much wasn't on you, I hate being in such a bind at times like these. But it looks to me like there are plenty of people who just want to do what they can for you, and it's not any different here.

[ljviggo]

You know, you're one of two people (barring my son) whom I'd let see me like this. You should feel priviledged. Or trapped, whichever. I was listening to So Jealous over and over...or rather...we were, and then it was over, and suddenly the entire album just seemed to fit. It hasn't left my CD player yet. It's beautiful, just so you know. Really wonderful work.

Knowing the rules is comforting, but I'm really not sure if it does make things any easier. Strange to say, you'd think comfort would cushion the blow, but in actuality it just gives you a sense of security, and the pain itself is just as sharp. I think you need to take care of yourself as well. I've been reading your entries, wondering if I should say anything or if I'd just be butting in. Basically, I'd reverse all your advice and throw it back at you. Take care of yourself, make sure things feel right from your standpoint, work your way out.

I have been completely forgetting to perform all of the mundane tasks. Dishes have piled up, and you're right. The laundry is neglected. I won't ask you to come out here if it's inconvenient, but if ever you feel the need to come check on me, or come tell your troubles to me (it seems like you're always helping me through things, I should be able to reciprocate if need be), you're always welcome. You know that. Thank you. You were here when this all started, and even though it's over now (I can hardly stand typing that), you're still here. You have no idea how much that means to me.