When you grew too old, you got too bold.
These past few weeks have been all but pleasant, to say the least. I feel as though everybody I am coming into contact with I am somehow intruding on some form of "me time" for them. Like I'm some sort of greedy, selfish, un-comprehensive jerk of some type.
but then at the same time, i tell myself that I shouldn't feel that way. Because if anything, I do deserve to get away from my boring, meaning less excuse I call a life. I'm stuck at home so often again time after time that it doesn't seem to even phase me that people have a life just as easily without me in it, or probably even easier without me.
You ever felt like the people you really enjoy being around don't feel the same way? I dunno, maybe I just think too much. That's one of the many unwelcome perks of being awake at 4:30 in the morning and getting random cases of insomnia depending on the day.
I slept on my left hand under my side the past 2 days. So every morning it feels like i slammed them in a door prior to waking up. My knuckles crack every few minutes or so now. It's driving me crazy! I'm a 20 year old guy who feels trapped in a 35 year old body.
Now i know how mark felt in that blink-182 song "A new hope" haha.
Speaking of which, blink is coming to the bay area in September i believe? I'm up for any people who want to come along. I'm buying my ticket soon. As well as my 2nd warped tour ticket in sacramento! Whoo!
All my pictures from the past year are deleted cause my zen broke and stupid me though I had them all backed up on the computer.
That is what I call some serious kicking myself in the face, haha. I started skating again. ( I bet some are like, stop starting and stopping.) It's just so hard to really go out anymore in public without being intimidated or shot or robbed, or mugged, or jumped or anything involved ghetto ass black people. Or mexicans who think they are black now. I can't wait to get my knife. I'd like to see any of them pull out their knives on me then. I won't hesitate to cut them after they take their blade out. It'll be sweet revenge well over due.
That sounds kind of morbid and demeaning. Perfectly suited to my lifestyle.
I'm hungry.
If there was one song I wish I could have ever written in my life that I have heard, it would definitely have to be this one.
Arsonists Get All The Girls - Taiwanese Troft Trouble
I pass up the blame
Press on to face me
Do it some other time
Just like it's programmed into you as well
To leave all dead and impaled
I'll drink up to my eyes of your filthiness
It makes me breathe in deep
Your dirt drenched ecstasy
Making me do things I thought I'd never see
For Mary's sake break what you've become
Another horrid wretch
Left in the slums living next to nothing
Sleeping with everything
Born out of dirt
Living in the dirt
I can taste you in the air you whore
Laced up with worms
Tied down by thorns
You must look up
My end was the same
The plank belongs in both eyes
The distance between sky and earth
Remain the same like you and I
The jury guilty of the crime
Nothing will change the conviction
But we both belong in the filth
That we claim no allegiance to
We are the dirt we so despise
The message was made clear by defecating in
Your skull just to see how I do
Come up with all of this and make you pay for it
I am part of the earth's bloodline
I will shove you
Into the ground
Make you become
Lower than down
Did you plan this?
To join the Troft
Can you taste it?
Makes your tongue rot
You always knew
A taste that we craved
You gutter slut
Worth the Troft trouble trade