Can't quite seem to figure out
How to balance this introvert-extrovert thing. Whilst being midway -- an ambivert(?) seems like a healthy place to be, society now requires us to be able to switch between one and the other when the situation calls for it. Or at least, I do. I'm not good at multi-tasking -- and tbh, nobody is, because my strengths lie in being able to concentrate and turn one concept in my head around -- I'm quite proud of my ability to notice blindspots and piece things together when it comes down to it, but I take too long, I'm not motivated enough, I get bored too easily.
I'm so frustrated with my limitations. I wish I could just install some extra processing space and memory into my brain, so I can file my thoughts and experiences into storage for later perusal without losing it into the depths of space, sort of sitting there in my unconscious, but useless because I can't fucking access it.
I both love and hate working alone. I like that I can be alone with my thoughts, but sometimes I hate me and my thoughts, and it's getting back to that old frustration because I feel like I am capable of more-- I just can't seem to tap into it, because my thoughts are scattered, I'm distracted, and... ughhhh.
I really don't want to waste away like Adam, living a cushy and unremarkable life. It isn't even because of pride or desire to have status or whatever -- it's just that without that sense of moving forward, I feel like stagnant and dead.
Arrrrrghhhhh. *scratches hair*
I'm so frustrated with my limitations. I wish I could just install some extra processing space and memory into my brain, so I can file my thoughts and experiences into storage for later perusal without losing it into the depths of space, sort of sitting there in my unconscious, but useless because I can't fucking access it.
I both love and hate working alone. I like that I can be alone with my thoughts, but sometimes I hate me and my thoughts, and it's getting back to that old frustration because I feel like I am capable of more-- I just can't seem to tap into it, because my thoughts are scattered, I'm distracted, and... ughhhh.
I really don't want to waste away like Adam, living a cushy and unremarkable life. It isn't even because of pride or desire to have status or whatever -- it's just that without that sense of moving forward, I feel like stagnant and dead.
Arrrrrghhhhh. *scratches hair*