Happy Bitter Singles Day!
For all of you blissfully happy couples who had a beautiful romantic evening tonight, please kindly go to hell.
I don't mean that. Most of the time, at least. Despite the wrenching pain and near-suicidal depression my late relationship debacle pushed me to, I am not in any way cynical about love and romance. I am happy for those who are currently able and willing to enjoy it to the full, and I hope to again partake of amour myself some day soon.
Yet I am pleased to have grown up steeped in Chicago history, for St. Valentine's Day never fails to bring to mind the vision of five mobsters machine-gunned to death in a South Side warehouse. Thank you, Al Capone, for giving us singles something more entertaining and joyful to celebrate in commemorating the day.
Cut me some slack; this is my first February 14th as a single man in over four years. You know what I did tonight while y'all were out wining and dining and sexing it up? Kickboxing and grappling. I have all sorts of new bruises. It was hellafun.
So to close, as a darling lady-friend of mine intoned to me tonight, "Happy V.D.!!!"